Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – 2018 AFLW Round 1

Now that that bullshit the delicious Schadenfreude is over with, it’s time to get into the REAL sports in this world.

The AFLW season started this past weekend and we already had our first surprise of the year. We had another surprise in our Lady Footy Tipping Contest as a veteran tipper managed an extraordinary feat.  Plus,  we look forward to Round Two.

All of this and more on

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Round One

The season started on Australian Friday (North American late Thursday night) with the classic AFL matchup of Carlton v Collingwood.  These are two of the oldest clubs in AFL and will be the oldest clubs in AFLW a hundred years from now.

Since the game started late Thursday and I had work the next day, I caught the replay on the Watch AFL app on Friday night before the Demons-Giants game. I have to say, I wasn’t very impressed by either team.  Tayla Harris kicked ass for the Blues, but there didn’t seem to be much behind her and Darcy Vescio was almost invisible. It doesn’t seem like they’ve figured out how to mix all the talent they have together.

On the other side, poor (and hot, IMO) Stephanie Chiocci had to captain a team that seems to have no offensive options.  Moana Hope has been hyped as a star, but she was largely invisible and the Magpies struggled to get anything going.  Most of the scoring happened in the first half and the second became a grind-it-out battle of wills.  In the end, the Blues held on for the 8 point win.

Here are the highlights:

I still can’t believe Tayla Harris missed that set shot.  Anyway, shortly after I finished this match, I turned on the live broadcast of the GWS Giants against the Melbourne Demons.  This game more than made up for the first one.  It was back and forth and exciting and hard-fought and only a late goal separated the teams.  In the end, the Demons held on for the win, but the Giants have definitely signaled the rest of the league that last year’s doormats are no more.

Here are the highlights and I do suggest you watch the replay.  It was a great game!

I was too tired from the workweek to catch the late game of Brisbane v Adelaide.  I am disappointed I did.  It turned out to be the surprise of the Round as 1) Erin Phillips, the Crows’ and League MVP did not play and 2) The Lions got sweet revenge by winning IN ADELAIDE, spoiling the premiership celebrations. Here are the highlights:

The last game of the Round was by far the weirdest.  I watched this live and I saw the Western Bulldogs completely shut out the Fremantle Dockers in the first half.  I was THIS CLOSE to turning the game off, but something told me to keep watching.  Well, the Dockers then scored 21 points to the Bulldogs’ 2 and made it a ballgame at Three Quarter Time.

Alas, the Dockers tried hard to maintain the effort of the third quarter, but about midway through the Doggies took control and shut down the comeback attempt.  While the Doggies looked good, they also looked vulnerable.  Future opponents will no doubt study that third quarter to see how the Dockers were able to dominate them so easily. Here are the game highlights:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1 Western Bulldogs 1 0 0 213.0
2 Brisbane Lions 1 0 0 163.2
3 Carlton Blues 1 0 0 157.1
4 Melbourne Demons 1 0 0 115.4
5 GWS Giants 0 1 0 86.7
6 Collingwood Magpies 0 1 0 63.6
7 Adelaide Crows 0 1 0 61.3
8 Fremantle Dockers 0 1 0 46.9

It’s still early days and there is a lot of footy to be played.


Lady Footy Tipping Challenge!

We have 8 tippers so far!  Two more and I will guarantee a fabulous prize to the winner!  Here is the link:

How did we do this week?  Well, here is the table:

PLACE TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips Total Margin
1 SonOfSpam 3 1 3 1
2 Litre_Cola 3 3 3 3
3 BALLS 3 5 3 5
4 Spanky Datass 2 0 2 0
5 nomonkeyfun 1 8 1 8
6 JolietJakeDelhomme 1 33 1 33
7 GameTimeDecision 1 40 1 40
8 BFC 0 36 0 36

Yes, as you can see above, if you join TODAY you will still be tied with BFC in the tipping pool!  So what are you waiting for?

I am happy to announce that only one tipper forgot to put the tips in, so, since this is Round 1, you will not get any foot fetish pictures to “encourage” you to put the tips in.  You have been fairly warned, though.

The extraordinary feat I referred to in the beginning is the fact that BFC managed to miss every game without forgetting to put the tips in.  That’s impressive.

Obviously, no one saw the Brisbane Lions getting sweet sweet revenge on the Adelaide Crows.  Given that Erin Phillips might be out for a while, this season may be slipping away from the Crows before it’s even started.

Don’t let that happen to you!  DON’T FORGET TO PUT THE FOOTY TIPS IN!


Round Two

Here is this week’s schedule (all times Pacific):

Friday,  February 2, 2018

12:05 AM (Late Thursday Night) – GWS Giants v Carlton at Drummoyne Oval

10:50 PM – Melbourne Demons v Adelaide Crows at Casey Fields

Saturday,  February 3, 2018

12:10 AM (Late Friday Night) – Fremantle Dockers v Collingwood Magpies at Optus Stadium

9:35 PM – Brisbane Lions v Western Bulldogs at South Pine Sports Complex

The marquee event will undoubtedly be the official footy debut of Perth’s new stadium (sponsored by Optus, an Australian telecommunications company). This will be the very first Footy game played at this stadium and a crowd of over 40,000 is expected.  Someone will get their first win here and the pressure is on the home team to make sure the crowd leaves happy.

Meanwhile, the battle for first place takes place in Queensland.  The surprising Lions take on the hot Doggies in what will probably be the most competitive match of the weekend.


That’s all for this week. I highly encourage everyone to watch as the skills have improved, the athleticism is at top level, and the action is non-stop.  Oh yeah, did I mention there are no commercials during play?  Reason #, you know the drill.

I leave you with my favorite team from last year. They are great at social media and have new videos up on their YouTube channel. They are a very likable bunch of ladies and I hope they can prove my preseason prediction wrong and will contend again this year.

See you next week!



International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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I hadn’t finished watching the replay of the GWS game until this morning, so I’d been holding off on reading this.

Screw you, guys.


Also, what prize is there for the last tipping equivalent of the wooden spoon?

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

I registered. I even got 2/4. What for am I not in the league?
/not even drinking

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Week one and i’m already in my sweet spot, BOOM! Right in the middle of the pack! Season long mediocrity awaits.
/did nail the margin


Maybe I would do better if I remembered to get my first tip in on time.


What is ‘A thing Phillip Rivers has never said?'”


Just watched the highlights of my GWS Giants. I’m now doubly-intrigued by this sprotsball competition.


I just joined. I have no idea what I’m doing.


That is good hustle bfc.


BFC knows sprots

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

Aye, some fuckin’ Delco bogan just punched mah support kangaroo!