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“The best $600 I ever spent”
Those are my own words. I said them last night just before the final whistle of the Eagles’ victory in Superb Owl LII.
Oh sorry…just before the final whistle of the P*ts defeat. Meh…Potato, Potahto.
But you all better realize I bought that victory for Philly. They owe me a key to the city.
/looks at the city
In all seriousness though. How did I buy Philly’s victory? By betting a shitload of dough on the P*ts.
I’ve long known that in spite of enjoying riding a little action now and again, I’m not only not good at gambling, but I can actively change the tide of games if I bet enough. Reverse jinxism. No shit. I’m not joking. Just ask King Hippo. I’ve fucked up plenty of his wagerings by glomming on and betting too much on a particular contest, or set of contests. Oklahoma would be your NCAA Football National Champions right now if I hadn’t fucked it up by jumping on the bandwagon and betting on them. I shit you not.
But I digress….
What Is Making Me Laugh Right Now?
Remember for the past two weeks how everyone was talking about how much of a dynasty New England has been for the past decade and a half? I ‘member. And the folks who were saying that weren’t wrong. The P*ts, love ’em or hate ’em, have been a dynasty. Or at least as close as one gets to a dynasty in the NFL these days. But now? Yeah….
For all the talk about the Patriots’ mystique, the next-level football that Bill Belichick and Tom Brady were perpetrating against the rest of the league, the reality is that New England didn’t blow opponents out in the Super Bowl. In their seven trips this century, the Patriots’ largest margin of victory was six points and that came a year ago in their improbable 25-point comeback against the Falcons. In fact, you could make an easy argument that their 5-2 record could have just as easily been 2-5.
That’s lazy journalism. Revisionist history, if you will. And I have no respect for it.
The fact is that the Patriots ARE/WERE a dynasty (we’ll see what happens going forward and whether that’s over or not). But sometimes even dynasties get punched in the mouth.
Doug Pederson made the call before halftime. He out-Belichicked Belichick. And he made it known that he and the Eagles weren’t there just to make an appearance. They were there to win this shit….
Maybe a bit of a “Fuck You” after this happened earlier…
But I’m fine with that. That’s competition. That’s telling your opponent we’re here to win. We’re better than you. We can do what you couldn’t. It’s the game between the ears.
Oh, there’s also a guy named Corey Clement…
And a guy name Alshon Jeffrey…
But seriously Mr. Journalist, wanna tell me again how the P*ts were paper champions and didn’t deserve the accolades they’ve had? The accolades they’ve rightfully earned, whether we like it or not? When you’ve been spouting for weeks…nay for years…. about how great they are? And oh yeah, shut your piehole you twits. Because you were right the first time. The P*ts’ dynasty will never be repeated in our lifetimes more than likely.
Brady threw for 505 yards and 3 TD’s vs no picks last night. Yet the Eagles STILL found a way to get it done. The Eagles were the better team last night. So fucking get over it already and give the Eagles the credit they’ve rightfully earned. And earn it they did.
You don’t have to rewrite history. History changes, just as it always has. And it did last night I think.
Which is why I was happy to be able to help.
Goddamned right I’m taking credit. The $600 smackers I put on New England for the double reverse jinx (either I get the payoff monetarily, or hopefully I get the jinx in and the team I hate less wins) was totally fucking worth it.
I know I’ll never get the credit I deserve. But I don’t need traditional credit. Just watching this shit was totally worth the dough….
But here’s the bitch of it. I gotta be honest here…
I’m pretty impressed with Brady here. His answers, his honesty, his composure. His Class!!!!! Of course he’s damned disappointed. I would be too. But in that environment, I’d hope that I could carry myself as he did here. Total respect to Brady here. Fuck you if you disagree. You can hate him if you want to, but he came across as a champion here…even if he happens not to have been one this year. We should all be so lucky. Dude has my total respect after last night.
It was a damned good game. The better team won. Just like Tom said himself at the 4:30 mark of that clip up there.
I have total respect for both sides of this one. I’m happy (sort of) the Iggles won. I’m happy the P*ts lost. But I will not further the hate or disrespect to either side. Not after last night.
Both of these teams were well-prepared. Both of these teams were well-coached. Both of these teams competed hard and with sportsmanship. One had to win, one had to lose. No shame for either side. So get rid of your hate people. Neither side deserves it this time.
Good fucking game. And I’ll fight anyone who says differently.
Totally Worth It
But I’m still out $600 fucking bucks soooo…
I’ll be waiting for my thank you note, Philadelphia. Batteries not included, I hope.