Request Line: On The Clock

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

ROGER GOODELL: …and so I handed him a six-game suspension! Ha ha ha ha! Isn’t that hilarious?

PRODUCER: [appearing horrified] I’m not sure that skipping a mandatory league seminar to take your mother to a chemotherapy session really qualifies as…

GOODELL: [sips coffee, interrupts] So we’re good to go?

PRODUCER: [checks wristwatch] Yep, just ten seconds and we’re live. Ready?

GOODELL: Damn skippy.

PRODUCER: [counts it off]

GOODELL: Good afternoon, and welcome to “Request Line”!  I’m Roger Goodell and…[punches talkback button]…hey, are you hearing anything funny going on?

PRODUCER: Um, no your levels look fine.

GOODELL: Oh, good, cause I thought I was catching some static.

PRODUCER:

GOODELL: Ha ha, get it? Static? Like the way they always give me a hard time at the draft?

PRODUCER: Oh.  Right.  Very amusing.

GOODELL: Okay, so as you know the NFL draft is right around the corner, where dreams are made (and then later ground up into dust and mixed with tears to form a fine paste of CTE and permanent debilitating injuries). Every team is under pressure to make the right choice, and they only have a few minutes to make up their minds.  In honor of that, today’s theme is “On The Clock” – we’re looking for songs about being under the gun, running out of time, having to make a decision, having to hurry. Looks like we’ve got our first caller.  You’ve reached Request Line, what song would you like to hear?

CALLER 1: BOOOOO!

GOODELL: [tries to laugh it off] Ho ho, just like the draft.  What can I play for you?

CALLER 1: BOOOOOO!

GOODELL: Okay, okay, very funny.  What song would you…

CALLER 1: Baba-BOOOOOOOOOOO-ey!

GOODELL: [hangs up] Well, that got old fast.  Let’s try another one.  [punches button]

CALLER 2: Hello?

GOODELL: Hello, you’re on the air.

CALLER 2: Oh, cool!  So I had a question about the theme.

GOODELL: Shoot.

CALLER 2: So when you say “running out of time” do you mean like real time, or fake time?

GOODELL: Fake time?

CALLER 2: Yeah, fake time like that bullshit number you claimed for running the forty.

GOODELL: Hey now…

CALLER 2: YOU’RE A LIAR AND YOUR FORTY TIME IS A FRAUD!

GOODELL: [hangs up] God damn jackasses.

PRODUCER: [punches talkback button] Please don’t swear on the air.

GOODELL: But he just…

PRODUCER: We’re not responsible for the callers.  The FCC only fines us when the deejays do it.

GOODELL: Okay, let’s try this one last time. [punches button] Hello, what can I play for you?

CALLER 3: Oh, hi! So I was hoping I could get in a request for a DOUBLE SHOT.

GOODELL: A double shot?

PRODUCER: It’s when you play two songs in a row – basically two requests.

GOODELL: I don’t know…

CALLER 3: But you haven’t even heard my requests yet!

GOODELL: [glances at the PRODUCER, who nods enthusiastically] All right, let’s hear what you’ve got.

CALLER 3: My first request is for “Out of Touch” by Hall and Oates.

GOODELL: [pleasantly surprised] Yeah…yeah, we can play that.  Sounds good.  And what’s your second request?

CALLER 3: I request that you go fuck yourself.

GOODELL: [hangs up] Why did I even agree to do this?

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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[…] Request Line: On The Clock – March 30, 2018 […]

theeWeeBabySeamus

A variation on the theme…admittedly.
But it works.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmErRm-vApI

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
theeWeeBabySeamus

Can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AJsLkRbQ74

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MY BAD I SHOULD READ CLOSER!

I THOUGHT IT WAS SONGS ABOUT COCKS!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OH COME ON! THIS IS A DICK JOKE BLOG!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
yeah right

So it’s about being on the clock, making a decision?
I got something for that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw

scotchnaut

[pulls cargo shorts up above belly]

“I think I got me a late-rounder that’s gonna blossom into a star!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No

litre_cola

I fucking love this tune.

rockingdog

rocking out!

Mr. Ayo

So, Cyndi Lauper Time After Time isn’t appropriate?

scotchnaut

This scene always hits me way up in the feels-Knocking On Heaven’s Door

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjR7_U2u3sM

SonOfSpam

Coming to the End of the Line (3/5ths of the Wilburys are already there).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVjToYOjbM

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t think Jeff Lynne has ever truly been alive anyway.

scotchnaut

Time running out? This fits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFETrcH1Dks

scotchnaut

Does this make the cut?

/day drink drunk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3CN31N_qiY

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I can get away with this double shot without RTD banning me permanently.
Let’s find out…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptOOwqjvtbM

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Senor Weaselo

I could post a solid quarter of the Hamilton soundtrack but that will get even more stuff thrown at me than the basedball preview yesterday, so here’s just one, now will you put your socks fulla marbles away?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPgE7PNzXag

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’ll stay on topic, you dirty fuckers. Gimme Electric Six.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hytg8uo48_U