Liverpool! Real Madrid! Champions League Final Open Thread

Don T

Don T

Poor choices, mixed results.
¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre!
Titans4Eva
Don T

Yes yes yes. The European club championship starts at 1:30 Central. The winner of this yooge deal tournament gets a proportionally extravagant trinquet, which the Spanish call La Orejona (the big-eared one):

The Brits call it the Big Cup, and I imagine toffs creaming all over themselves for the generic understatement.

OF COURSE it’s a big deal. Europe hosts the richest leagues that can afford to poach / sign the best talent available anywhere. Plus, Liverpool and [grabs crotch] Real Madriz have been among the top handful of clubs in the world.

Real Madrid is aiming for a Champions 3-peat, which has never happened. Their fans, who are mostly of the douche persuasion, will become insufferable. That’s their natural state anyway, so they could stand to be taken down a peg. If not, at least they’ll drown a bit the Jordan vs. Lebron irritants.

The fucking Red Sox own Liverpool and their fans include shitheads who do this:

via thesun.co.uk

Maybe I’m talking out of place, but I think hooliganism MIGHT be a bad look for LIV fans. Especially when the Heysel disaster happened to occur in a European Cup final—you now, like the game that’s on today. Throwing crap at buses is provincial league crap, but’s it’s great to see how little some Reds fans are.

For the 87th season in a row, Real Madrid is crazy STCKT. Truth is, when they’re on, they’re an amazing watch. Keylor Navas, the Costa Rica captain, is among the top goalkeepers in the world. Their defenders are physical (Marcelo) and total assholes (Sergio fucking Ramos); Toni Kroos connects each one of the 80-100 passes he makes in a game; Luka Modric is brilliant and will lead a sneaky-stacked Croatia; and then ahead there’s Ronaldo, with a Benzema or Bale too. Real reached the final through the toughest possible road, having to play twice:

Borussia Dortmund (4th in Germany)

Tottenham Hotspur (3rd in the EPL)

PSG (French Champion)

Juventus (Italian Champion)

Bayern Munich (German champion)

Real lost only twice, 3-1 each to Tottenham and Juventus. Goddamn it; it’s hard to see them lose.

 

Liverpool did not have it anywhere as tough, but they won convincingly:

via socerstats.com

Thus far they have scored 46 goals, most in the history of the competition. They made it through the Coutinho transfer and injuries to key players, like Emre Can, because of Salah, Mané, and Firmino. These three have manufactured goals quickly, often with Firmino stealing a ball in midfield and passing a dart to Salah or Mané. Those three might be the finest front line in the game right now.

via @ESPNFC

But Real Madrid ain’t Porto—but Madriz ain’t Man City either, which LIV blasted 5-1 in aggregate. [Sigh] I’ve thought this through: I wouldn’t mind AT ALL Reds fans throwing crap at the Real bus in Kiev.

Predicción: Liverpool 2 – 1 Real Madrid, five yellow cards, one red card. There will be chippiness. God I hope there’s blood.

 

King Hippo: The back of the Lesser action will be safely skipped by me, what with #BFIB dirting off at 4-ish. Let us hope being on the Cards’ dugout side today is better luck, eh?

But there is no luck coming for Real, the Cool Pope (assuming he wants to live), or fair-minded Redshite haters everywhere. The bastard men will get a goal super early, and a 2nd right before or right after halftime.  Spain’s Lesser Bastard Men will pull one back, but the brief candle of hope will be out, out right quick for a 3-1 disgusting Liverpool triumph.
Balls of Steel and Fury: Real will win
(photo of hot female Real fan)
because the World Cup will be awesome
(photo of hot female WC fan)
and there has to be balance in the universe
(photo of two hot girls making out)
.
BONUS COVERAGE: Aston Villa vs. Fulham FC
The winner gets promoted to the EPL. John Terry is on Aston Villa. Fuck him and the team.
King Hippo: Villa is gonna park the bus and try to nick one at the death, or even more likely/boringly get to the penno lottery. Because that’s just how those Tory bellends roll. I suspect it will stay nil-nil until around the 60′ mark, when White Power will become just too hot to handle.  A late clincher when Villa have no choice but to come out and play, call it 2-nil to the good.

The only good thing to come out of the Midlands
Litre Cola: COME ON FULHAM
Balls of Steel and Fury:
(photo of hot female Fulham fan)
🗣UPDATE🗣
WOOOOOOOOOO. Pour one for CoUla y’all!
Don T
Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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Brick MeathookMoose -The End Is Well NightheeWeeBabySeamusSenor WeaseloInanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, that ad was supposed to get cut last week.
No wonder I’m still getting calls.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, it is well written.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This encapsulates pretty well why I hold Maggie “MAGA” Haberman in such contempt.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

She’s a great example of how once media people attain a certain level of prestige, they won’t challenge the existing order.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Congrats to Vince on finally getting major network recognition.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“These are truehoods.”

-Fox.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Live Merkin Episode.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRxhgxH6FUI

This is not that funny, but I still laughed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I just got a cat folks, and let me say if you’ve ever wanted to be woken at 3 a.m. to a box being licked for no apparent reason, head on down to your nearest shelter right now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

hehehe….sorry. Just giggling at… “being awoken at 3am to a box being licked for no apparent reason”.

My lady friends always seemed appreciative, but I could be mistaken.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Don’t feel too proud, you aren’t the first person to see the opportunity for that joke.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ouch.

Redshirt

I thought of making a joke, but I pussed out.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Look, it’s not a bad joke, it’s just one that many filthy-minded folks will make.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh ICRM, you know you love me.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

Hot taek: The David Ruffin version is better.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not sure I’d agree. I’m not sure I’d disagree.
But either way, I am impressed that you know that even exists.
Nicely done.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Can we agree to disa….. not be sure one way or t’other?

Redshirt

So soccer fans. FC Cincinnati is all but going to be joining Major League Soccer. Is MLS really a major league sports league or is this just another minor league league? Or is this a big deal that sports radio and the local news is saying it is?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

It’s not on par with the existing Big Four leagues because the top global talent still plays in Europe, but it’s popular and everything I’ve read about FC Cincinnati’s fan base suggests it’s devoted and that means attending games will be fun.

Redshirt

FC Cincy’s fanbase is great. The games constantly sell out Reds games, and the Reds have the best location being next to bars and restaurants. FC Cincy’s is at UC’s football stadium. The University is safe, but the neighborhoods around it aren’t exactly the place you want to park your car or walk around at night.

I’d like to check it out, but I’ve been turned off of soccer from one of my college roommates. He was diehard into soccer, but was such a complete douchebag I’ve learned to hate everything he liked.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I never liked soccer much, but I tune in to the big international tournaments since they’re almost always a bunch of fun. It’s a shame USA soccer shit itself otherwise this year’s World Cup would be a great gateway drug.

But regarding FC Cincy: the plan is build a soccer-specific stadium for the team which probably won’t be near where they play now. I don’t think this is a great idea, but stadium scam gonna stadium scam.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know that guy! I heard he’s big into supply-side economics these days.

Redshirt

“..and the heater is on. I hereby declare the family pool open for business!”

(cue rumble of thunder)

WCS

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DID SOMEONE SAY THUNDER

ballsofsteelandfury

So, Ronaldo’s post game interview was interesting. He basically said “It was nice to play for Madrid”…

SonOfSpam

So he’s coming to LAFC? Neat!

SonOfSpam

The Liverpool goalie should just go back to running SAMCRO.

ballsofsteelandfury

If Bale gets a hat trick coming in as a sub, that is pretty impressive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that’s more something you’d expect out of a dom.

scotchnaut

“Bale comes in as a sub and scores two goals via das boot? Perfect!”

-Wolfgang Peterson

scotchnaut

Gareth Scoreth.

scotchnaut

Loserpool should try harder.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t wait for after the game when Ronaldo performs hit hit single “(I Just Wanna) Fly”.

SonOfSpam

“We don’t like that song as much any more.”

– Chapecoense

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

/turns on soccer game

A pool of livers?! Fuck those organ-thieving wankers!