Request Line: Rock and/or Roll

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER sits behind his desk, while a harried-looking DJ3000 escorts a pale-faced and shaking ROOMBA to the exit.

DJ3000: …AND I PROMISE YOU THAT WE WILL NEVER ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.

ROOMBA: [makes sad chiming noise, leaves]

PRODUCER: Man, I’m surprised he didn’t just quit on the spot.

DJ3000: HE’S REALLY WORRIED ABOUT GETTING DISPLACED BY THE 2019 MODELS THAT ARE COMING OUT THIS FALL.

PRODUCER: That’s rough.  Good thing technology will never replace us, right buddy?

DJ3000: UM…YEAH.  [scans for system updates]

PRODUCER: But seriously I had no idea that Justin Blackmon would make such a mess.

DJ3000: I WAS HOPING HE’D BE FUN.

PRODUCER: Me too.  But man, that was just depressing.  Hey.  So for guys like the Roomba and you, is a show like Battlebots similar to how football is for humans?  You know, like gladiator battles?  Or it is more like a horror movie?

DJ3000: MAN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ASKING ME ABOUT ROBOT SHIT?

PRODUCER: No, I just meant cause Roomba was…

DJ3000: LIKE JUST BECAUSE I’M A ROBOT YOU THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL ROBOTS.

There is a buzzing noise as the receptionist allows someone into the back offices.

PRODUCER: [with some relief for the distraction from a discussion about robot-human relations] Oh good, that must be today’s host.

— [door flies open] — 

TERRELL OWENS: Gentlemen.

PRODUCER: Welcome! Thanks for joining us. You ready to get oriented?

T.O.: Show me the ropes, brother.

The PRODUCER ushers TERRELL OWENS into the studio and takes him through the basics, which he picks up with little difficulty.  The PRODUCER emerges and counts things down to begin the show.

PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to yet another edition of Request Line.  With me is Terrell Owens of…the Edmonton Eskimos?

T.O.: For now.  They have a ten day window to sign me.  And then I’m flying, like a bird.

PRODUCER: So you’re still playing football.

T.O.: Oh, absolutely.  I’ll play until my arms fall off.  Or my legs.

PRODUCER: Congratulations on being perhaps the first football player ever inducted to the Hall of Fame while he’s still on an active roster.

T.O.: Well I appreciate that. I’m not thrilled that they waited this long to call my number, but it’s an honor nonetheless.

PRODUCER: Speaking of which, you publicly said you have no intention of attending the ceremony.

T.O.: Nah.

PRODUCER: But you said that…[reads from a piece of paper]…”At a later date, I will announce where and when I will celebrate my induction.”

T.O.: That’s right, and I’m thrilled to give you the honor of my announcement.  I’m going be having my own induction ceremony.  But it ain’t gonna be in that backwater nowheresville Canton.  It’s going to be in Cleveland, son.

PRODUCER: You mean…

T.O.: That’s right! I’m having my induction ceremony at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

PRODUCER: Oh wow.

T.O.: We’re gonna have a big-ass party, we’re gonna have as much liquor as you can drink, we’re gonna have a big barbecue, we’re gonna have Morris Day and the Time playing…

PRODUCER: That actually sounds like a lot of fun.

T.O.: You wanna come?

PRODUCER: Of course I want to come.

T.O.: Great! It’s $100 per ticket, I’ll put you down for two? I gotta get my deposit in with Morris Day’s people before the 28th or they say they’ll start looking for other bookings…

PRODUCER: Um…

T.O.: Anyhow, let’s get this show on the road.  Today’s theme is Rock and/or Roll.  I’m talking songs about rocks, and I’m talking songs about rolls, and I’m talking about songs about both.  I’ll get us started with a DOUBLE SHOT from The Jesus and Mary Chain.

Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “rock and/or roll” – songs have “rock” or “roll” or both in the title.  In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tre45on_we@se1”.  When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure. If your link doesn’t pick up, an admin will try to help out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Forgot about this one.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It’s funny because I was literally thinking of this as a Request Line topic yesterday.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

holy merde – a Moose post ON TOPIC!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You guys usually do the request lines far better than I, however this one was missed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That and I tend to chafe and rebel against the authoritarian nature of “themes”

King Hippo

creeping authoritarianism is why The End Is Well Nigh ,, ppl forget that 😀

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

Still no linky goodness

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Even cheesier than B-52’s 1980 hair!

King Hippo

/yes, I had this poster in my bedroom during junior high

//no, not proud

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Hippo wishes he had been Steve Smith cool. SIGH.

/needs time machine to go back and kill self

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The B-52s are fun, intended cheesy, Def Leppard is full 80s cheese factory.

King Hippo

agreed, thus my retroactive shame

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I had posters of Bob Lilly, Ed Jones, Bob Hayes, and Tony Dorsett in my room and my uncle’s stolen Playboys in the secret stash place, so we are even.

King Hippo

oh noes, u cheer against Donks in ’77??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I won a case of beer off that game; Donks had NO chance.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We can double that up and I can share in Hippo’s shame…

King Hippo

Not just leaving this out forevs. I used to manically dance to, and make my oldest kid (as a 1-year old) laugh her ass off to this:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes.

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nomonkeyfun

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

nomonkeyfun

Great pick. I wish I had thought of it.

Kidding.

Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

crap, soUrry. It showed as a link for me and not the song, and i was tooooo lazy to click the link until i saw your comment.
/tired now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

hit refresh.

nomonkeyfun

Something went wrong when I put the link in. It still shows up as the link for me, even after closing muh browser.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Put your text BEFORE the link, not after. I was driving somebody crazy with that the other day.

King Hippo

nomonkeyfun

“Hey, why you talking about me?”

-A. Cromartie

nomonkeyfun

Sharkbait

I can never not think of Clue every time I hear this.

yeah right

yeah right

Double shot!

nomonkeyfun

Tie to take it down a notch.

nomonkeyfun

Tie to take it down a notch.

“Hey, it isn’t nice to make fun of others.”

-M. Hutchence

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Instead of chokin the chicken, the chicken is doin the chokin

nomonkeyfun

yeah right

Double shot!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

This is going to be a great playlist. Good luck picking song of the week…

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Fuck you. I hate this bastard and his so called music, my ex-wife loved him and played this crap all the time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wasn’t even married to her, but I am with you.

nomonkeyfun

I can’t believe it made it this long.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LemonJello
LemonJello

Another from the Led Zeppelin discography:

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Sharkbait

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gratliff

i’m sorry

Sharkbait

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Double Shot!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Triple shot!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sharkbait

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Sharkbait

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gratliff

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sharkbait

Gratliff

theeWeeBabySeamus

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Double Shot!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sharkbait

Required:

Gratliff

Gratliff