NFL Super Team? RRRRRRRRRRRAM It 2018!

I saw the question posited by That’s Good Sports (video linked below), and the more I thought about it…the more it made sense.  Though nobody in LaLa Land may care (nah, who am I kidding, everybody wants to RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!), the front office saw a 2017 beastly offensive performance peter out in the playoffs.  And they decided to give Tubby Wade a few extra toys.

Shutdown corner?  Have a Marcus Peters.  Interior pass rush to take some pressure off stud Aaron Donald?  Have an Namukong Suh (which totes sounds like a type of shit you’d have after eating too-spicy Vietnamese food).  What, one shutdown corner ain’t enough?  Go get the best of the best, Aqib “Two of the Good Ones” Talib, a guy you love to hate unless he’s on your team (trust me, I’m a Donks homer).  Talib was a cap/coach pissing match casualty, and would only be traded to the P*ts or to LA to reunite with Tubby Wade.  Thank God this is what worked out.  Talib is a natural leader, on and off the field, and an invaluable asset in real life and fantasy.  Yeah, this ought be the high bid D/ST at your auction in a week or two.  They are gonna be.  Nasty.  As.  Fuck.

And what of the core that returns?  You still have last year’s real life (to Hippo, anyway) and fantasy MVP Todd Gurley, a retro “back for all occasions.”  As long as the heavy usage of 2017 doesn’t bring him down, he should be in line for another fine year in OKC bomber McVay’s wide open offense.  Speaking of, McVay was able to coax the Great Leap Forward out of Baby Buster (aka Jared Goff), and the progression looks real.  Don’t expect much of a junior year slump, if any.  Brandin Cooks is an actual, honest-to-goodness NFL calibre wideout to play opposite Cooper Kupp, which should allow the offense to click better when it has to get vertical.

Their biggest issues might be (1) the tough-as-nails division (coupled with a 1st place schedule); and (2) weight of expectations.  Both factors are very unusual things for RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! to have to deal with.  Without doing a deep dive myself, adding this many vets in one offseason usually means “salcap jail” which could mean a very abbreviated contention window – especially with the Tomsulas close at their heels.  Still, I commend them for going for it.  Again, putting my Donks homer hat on, I got to watch one of the premier RBs of all time suit up for my team (TD), and you never know how long that specialness will last.  Make every moment of Gurley Man’s reign count, or live to regret it.

This is a fun team, and even with the League expecting their best shot week in and week out…I think they’re good for 12-4 or 13-3, the NFC West title and a trip to the Superb Owl.  Might a date with Odd Week Jaguras destiny await?

/checks with Tussionex bottle

//ask Hippo again later

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
28 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Needed moar gambling tips.

Wakezilla

The way their schedule is this year and how they won’t catch anyone off guard, I see a 10-6 or 11-5 record and a NFC West title. That’s a tough schedule.

A Superb Owl spot still seems reasonable.

SonOfSpam

Only issue I have with this RRRRRRAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIITTTTT preview is calling the NFC West a tough division. Niners? Eh, we’ll see. Seachickens are Russell Wilson plus air. Arizona gonna suck until they commit to the Jewterback full-time.

Rams gonna go about 11-5 or so and win the division easily.

Wakezilla

49ers are going to be a tough out and the Hawks are going to be annoyingly Jekyll and Hyde this year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Don T

Mmmmm… I dunno. The defense will be great, but there’s a whiff of Eagles Dream Team. Still, I’d watch ‘em fo sho.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Wakezilla

True, but the difference is that Rammit has actually had some success.

nomonkeyfun

You have to love the LA sports scene. The only team that they didn’t steal from another city is the Kings. The fucking hockey team in a city that only sees ice when it is looking to PnP.
I guess maybe the Chargers technically count. They did play that one year in LA before moving to SD and bzzzzzzzzsdklgjsdafkjgeujreiophjea;hoirejtoiejaeoijiotejjjj[jtae'[ihjboitejsoje’sojsejoesrihjtioe[jabfoiejaijioetajho

/nomonkey struck by lightning

“Thou shalt not mention our history in the hell hole up north!!!”

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m pretty sure the Angels were an expansion team and the Galaxy and LAFC are both LA originals.

Brick Meathook

There’s snow-capped mountains here.

yeah right

I see the team falling back to Earth a bit this year. Mcvay and Goff worked that gimmick last year with the hurry up and the constant helmet conversation and teams will get wise covering up their defensive schemes. Gurley has to be hungover after the touches of last year and too many new pieces and moving parts.

9-7. That sounds right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am more with Hippo on this (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!); I see the division race being fairly tight, but the holes in the other teams are at this point (the point before injuries) being greater than the Sheep’s. I don’t see as big of a fall back as you. 10-6, 11,-5 still win the division.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

Greg the Leg is the best kicker in the league for when Cooks and Cupp get the dropsies.

What would be hilarious is if Gates came back to play in LA for RAAAMMMIT

Ian Scott McCormick

Will the Rams and Chargers ever combine to form the Ragers? I’d imagine the helmet would be a powder blue background with a golden lightning bolt that curls around like a Ram horn.

ballsofsteelandfury

How many pills did you take before/ while writing this preview?

People in LA still ain’t care.

Ian Scott McCormick

Lakers got LeBron. I’m not sure if the Rams can top that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIT!

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a really slow reaction time…

ballsofsteelandfury

She also seemed to enjoy it. STOP IT SOME MORE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He may have had pills, but I see the influences of alcohol in this post. Could be the damage already done after all these years or what he washed the pills down with.