Your “Stare Into The Abyss That Is The NFC East” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

God is dead. So why not watch a bit of the old football? It’s not like I’m going to judge you.

-Friedrich “The Funky Philologist” Nietzsche

 

These two wet, stinking dogs are gonna give us many reasons to laugh and joke and cry (that’d be me, mostly). TO THE GAME!

Schmeagles/Jizzants:

Both these squadoos are looking to TURN THEIR SEASON AROUND! according to all the narratives out there. The return of qb Wentz was supposed to have given the Philly side a B12-like shot in the arm but he’s 1-2 as a starter and now he’s without rb Ajayi who is on the IR with the old torn ACL. Will Smallwood or Clement pick up the enormous amount of slack? Remains to be seen. Rumours abound that the front office will be trading for Bell or McCoy or perhaps re-animating the corpse of Wilbert Montgomery. When reached for comment Montgomery said, “I’m not dead yet!” He was promptly clubbed over the head by someone that had an eerie resemblance to Howie Roseman, general manger/necromancer of the Eagles. Philly must have this one because out of division the likes of the Panthers, Saints, Rams and Jags lie in wait. Not pretty. The good old ESPN ran a hit piece on old (so very old) Eli that pointed out that he sucks. The immobile weird face-maker is on pace to  be sacked 51 times and his QBR the last two seasons averages out to a paltry 46.5. (that’s really bad) Let’s hope the Giants take this one so that the NFC East will resemble a logjamclusterfuck for many weeks to come.

Have at it, kiddos.

 

 

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UnsurprisedWakezillaMoose -The End Is Well NighBeerguyrobFronkenshteen Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

God DAMN

Is This Year’s Giants Team An Al-Qaeda Plot Designed To Hurt New Yorkers Again?

https://sports.theonion.com/is-this-years-giants-team-an-al-qaeda-plot-designed-to-1829687973

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Lock-picking as a sport, and a “locksport” community. It’s amazing what boredom will lead people to start doing.

/Grabs a beer

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Semi-related: I need to get back into the gym.
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Beerguyrob

That’s how I ended up in youth detention!

Fronkenshteen

Once the dems regain enough power to make a difference, most likely, the voice of the voters will demand a Return To Integrity, at which point, SOMEHOW, it will become incumbent on democrats to simply bury the hatchet and move forward with dignity. Fuck that. We need to take back two stolen SC seats and poison Clarence Thomas’ water supply.
Democracy hinges on the us senate achieving a 67 seat dem majority. That should be our battle cry.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The Democrats’ biggest problem is the Democrats, or at the very least, the leadership of the party.

Wakezilla

They should be trying for a 69 seat majority

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nice

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

420-seat majority in the House.

Fronkenshteen

I am 1-4. I no longer look at my opponent at all. I never check the score until Tuesday morning. If I ever reach .500, I will re-engage. Till then, go Bilal Powell. Yer in, kid!

Wakezilla

This is weird. Remote village where 6 people walk on all fours

Wakezilla

Remembering Sister Rosetta Tharpe, who died 45 years today. When she was asked about music in the late 1960s, she said, “Oh, these kids and rock and roll — that is just sped up rhythm and blues. I’ve been doing that forever.”

She’s got a good guitar solo in this song (around the 1:22 mark)

Wakezilla

Ice Lions are putting black covers over random red seats to make it seem like there are more people at their games. Woof.

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Brocky

and to think, detroit fans try to say they pride themselves on their team

Brocky

gratliff posted a clip earlier, but man dirty work is an absurdly underrated movie

Col. Duke LaCross

“Okay, quiet down prostitutes.”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Norm:

“I’VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY DEAD PROSTITUTES IN ALL MY LIFE!”

Rando in crowd:

“God knows I have.”

Brocky

uggghhh

Wakezilla

Sounds like you just had a sticky situation

Brocky

kinda. reminising about that wedding last weekend, realizing my reflections are like 3 freaking page long

Wakezilla

Whose wedding, again? What did you reflect?

Brocky

some dude from up north was supposed to marry this frey chick, but then eloped with this foreign gal, but now his uncle was gonna marry the other girl, and some stuff happened…

sorry I forgot that was game of thrones.

in all seriousness, i was a groomsman for one of my oldest friends, and honestly it was the most fun i’ve ever had at a wedding, with a few hilarious moments, that I think the average poster would enjoy hearing

Beerguyrob

Wakezilla

I just saw the highlights of the Iggles/Giant Gonzales game. Holy shit, the Los Gigantes are melting down and the season isn’t even halfway done, yet. We might witness something spectacular.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

For some reason the only reasonable reaction seems to be “OOK OOK”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Seriously. I’m 6’2″ and I’d still have to climb her like the Empire State Building.

blaxabbath
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