The Anti-Christ Regresses to the Mean (AKA Bengals At The Bye)

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

If you can seriously look me in the eye and tell me that Andy Dalton might not be the anti-Christ, then I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

Three weeks ago it appeared that the Cincinnati Bengals were the class of the AFC North this year.  Which at the time wasn’t saying much considering the rest of that division had performed like Alzheimer’s patients having just eaten ‘shrooms up to that point.

The Bengals got off to a 4-1 start, including road wins in Indy and Atlanta.  Then reality set in and they remembered who they are.

1-2 the last three weeks, including a pasting of gargantuan proportions at the hands of Andy Reid’s merry band of Chefs (great googly moogly).

Sitting now at 5-3, they’re still in the hunt for the playoffs, of course.  But that’s not gonna happen.

Seriously, how many of those remaining games you think they have a realistic shot at?  Their defense has collapsed, and AJ Green’s big toe is acting up again.  Which I’m kinda happy about because I have Tyler Boyd on my fantasy team so the less playing time Green gets, the more points I get.  Maybe I can finally get back into the win column before the year is over.  It’s been six damned weeks and I’m getting really tired of losing to you pinheads.

But I digress…

Here, read this…

Cincinnati Bengals midseason review: Hot start has cooled off (StripeHype.com)

MVP:

Quarterback Andy Dalton has been the saving grace of this team, with Joe Mixon running a close second. While Dalton has cooled down some the last few weeks after a hot start (and still has many of the same concerns that we have always had with him) he has made some big-time throws at the end of the games to win games or put the Bengals in position to win. Andy Dalton currently is on pace to throw 34 touchdowns, which would be a career high.

Rookie of the Year:

Safety Jessie Bates is performing like a seasoned pro. The Bengals have a history of finding their best players in the 2nd round, and it looks like they may have struck gold again. Bates is not only the best rookie on the Bengals team, but he is also one of the best rookies in the NFL and should be in the running for the NFL Rookie of the Year.

With three interceptions already this season, Bates has graded out as one of the top safeties in the NFL according to Pro Football Focus and gives the Bengals something they haven’t had since Reggie Nelson left – a play-making safety.

Welp, that’s all I know about the Bengals, and it’s more than I need to know.

Just don’t look at that image of Andy Dalton for too long.  Even through photographs I think he can eat your soul.

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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theeWeeBabySeamusRikki-Tikki-DeadlySharkbaitBrettFavresColonoscopyblaxabbath Recent comment authors
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Looking at that schedule I think they are guaranteed at least four more wins – Browns x2, Raiders, and Broncos and should be able to steal at least one more.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

In apropos of nothing, this was too good to wait til the open thread:
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Redshirt sounds different

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

From the Wikipedia article on Bonnie & Clyde:

Clyde Chestnut Barrow was born into a poor farming family in Ellis County, Texas, near Telico, a town just southeast of Dallas. He was the fifth of seven children of Henry Basil Barrow (1874–1957) and Cumie Talitha Walker (1874–1942). The family migrated, piecemeal, to Dallas in the early 1920s as part of a wave of resettlement from the impoverished nearby farms to the urban slum known as West Dallas. The Barrows spent their first months in West Dallas living under their wagon. When father Henry had put together enough money to buy a tent, it was a significant improvement for the family.

blaxabbath

Texans living back under their wagons would actually be an appropriate description of Making American Great Again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I think Joe Mixon has a puncher’s chance of making the team MVP.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Thanks for pitch hitting, tWBS. Me and the ten pounds of mucus I’ve coughed up so far are very appreciative.

LemonJello
LemonJello

You’re not leaving that in the clubhouse, are you?
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Redshirt

That’s something entirely different.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s what your sperm looks like when you have an exclusive Skyline chili diet.

LemonJello
LemonJello

STOP trying to push Redshirt over the edge!

/the anvil filled safety cushions haven’t arrived from ACME yet

Ian Scott McCormick

My friend bitches because I usually just make Skyline chili jokes when discussing the Bengals. But I have nothing else to work with. Come on, Cincinnati.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Have you looked into adding WKRP in Cincinnati jokes to your repertoire?

Beerguyrob

Just mention that everything he wears looks like it’s from the Herb Tarlek Collection.
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blaxabbath

That remaining schedule is tailor made for some “Just win two games in December and you’re in the playoffs” style control-your-own-destiny-ness.

And, of course, the Bengals will bungle that all up.

Redshirt

Yeah, they’ll be 9-6 going into 8-6-1 Pittsburgh for the last week. We’ve played this song before.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s actually more than you need to know about the Bengals.