Happy Thanksgiving, one and all. Welcome to installment one of today’s carnival.
Chi**** (-3) at Detroit (12:30, CBS)
We have replaced Bollo de la Verdad with sommet called Chase Daniel. Yeah, I bet you did notice. Somehow, this only moved the line 1.5 points, which I think vastly understates how key a competent titty-kisser has been to the Bearistocrats! offense. Plus, the Cuck Lions usually turn into Fuck Lions this one, magical day every season. This was gonna be fun fantasy watching for me, as Bollo is my Baby Buster backup (say that 5 times fast), plus I got Fat Kicker (MI) off waivers to sub for Zeuerlein. But now I am stuck starting…Elisha. Yikes.
This is also on CBS, thanks to the powers-that-be not shoehorning an AFC side into the turkey’s ass this year. Somebody has to cross-flex, whether that’s their truth or nae.
Previewing today’s slate:
Also, here’s a bonus bit of music goodness for ye degenerates:
New Thread up!
The tears will be flowing like gravy in the Stafford household tonight.
[parts the Sea of Gravy]
-Kelvin Benjamin*, dreaming
*just for you Rikki
Plenty of college ball on. Miami up 55-23 on La Salle? Huh.
The Bears can’t finish under .500 and that’s a strange place to be.
they can finish 13-3, win the tiebreaker with NO (conference record) and host the Divisional Round before losing at RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
/ideal set-up for teh Prophecy
So… that’s game?
Cuck. Lions.
When life gets you down it’s important to think of things that bring a smile to your mug. Maybe it’s an old Kids in the Hall skit. Maybe it’s your child taking his/her first steps. Me? I think of Hippo having to cheer for Eli Manning in fantasy this weekend.
For me it’s Matt Stafford’s bad decisions
always remember that, no matter how much you suck, Hippo sucks worse 😀
DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP: A treatise on quarterbacking by Matt Stafford
“But he’s trying so lard!”
-Matt’s mom, with the Freudian slip
How many birds are nesting in Patricia’s beard right now?
Yes. Yes. Time to establish the run. Wonderful.
Turkey, racist uncles, and Matt Stafford being stupid: these are the things Thanksgiving is about.
Cunt
Meanwhile at Brocky’s:
Pretty much
hey e’rebody…it’s FAT SACKFORD!
That fat bucket of fuck.
Eddie Jackson, you are welcome at our Thanksgiving table
3 more catches for Kenny G.? Not probbo.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clint Eastwood In: I’m A Deadly Weapon Behind the Wheel Because I’m 80
“It’s like he keeps on cashing in on an image that people had of him several decades ago.”
-Mike Ditka
I WANT OT ON YOUR THANKSGIVING DAY!
setting up nicely for Fat Kicker (MI)
well looky-loo, Cuck Lions tried GUARDING the receiver for once!
brought to you by Nihilist Jewelers, who remind you that Love is a lie to keep species procreating
This game needs a safety or two to get me drunk.
One Nine.
all the ball goes to Golladay NOT ONCE in the red zone.
You shut your whore mouth
Kenny G. Beast.
That’s the name of my instrumental Death Metal band!
Listen, I’m not saying I participate in no nut November, I’m just saying a defensive chicago td may break that particular oath
This post aged well.
gee, throw to Golladay and good things happen. Who knew??
It’s like he knows how to play the game or something.
.
Leonard Cohen with another smash hit!
I just crossed the Ohio River at 37000′ at 500kts . . . and I’m not wearing any clothes.
(grabs BB gun and aims up)
LSD is a helluva drug…
The lesson of this game for Bears fans will be that Trubisky can’t be a system quarterback because this offense is totally different without the ability to throw it deep effectively.
Instead, they’ll see Daniel’s competent game management as a budding QB controversy because their heads are full of Portillo’s grease.
mmmm Portillo’s
Did the game take a day off work, eat some chicken noodle soup and grab some bed rest? It’s getting better…
blech, there go BOTH of my fantasy matchups
Tarik please.
ETA: MAZEL TOV!!
The Eagles have started a trend of getting the QB involved that will only end with a QB getting destroyed on the field.
think that happened last week
RIP Alex
Why go for two here? They score a TD, a field goal wins it. Now a field goal will only tie it.
The man uses a pencil on a laminated play sheet. He’s clearly a taco short of a combination plate.
That fucking pencil . . . It’s like he thinks it’s a feather.
Golladay LIVES!!
An lb on a wr has its intended effect.
Uh oh. Is Daniel hurt? We may be getting…(checks notes) Tyler Bray, a six-year veteran with a career stats of 0 for 1 for 0 yards.
How does Chicago find these long-term veterans with no experience?
the nudie bar counts as a small business, right?
/usually not run by one of the larger mobs
Welp, so much for 7 catches out of golladay.
Is that Wonder Years hocking Hondas? I haven’t watched a live game in months, these pleas for help have gone unnoticed.
Lil Help,
Calvin Ridley or Tre’Quan Smith tonight?
I worry about T’Q’s health more
SOLD!
Detroit playing like they already ate.
BURP – Matt S., Pontiac, MI
Turkey Day funny:
OBAMA: Thanks for the invitation, you’re a gracious host
TRUMP: How do you like the turkey?
OBAMA: It’s delicious, and so tender
TRUMP: I spent 3 million dollars tracking down the one you pardoned two years ago
Wait, where’s the joke here?
My thinks-he-knows-it-all-but-knows-nothing, opinion-on-everything, expert-on-nothing, steers-every-conversation-to-himself has laringytis.
Its a Thanksgiving Miracle!
I think I know that guy…
Is it really a miracle if you gave him a tracheotomy with a pocket knife?
Get better soon, man