Your “Now It’s Your Turn, NFC East” Thursday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Hey there, folks that like hanging out while watching the football! Hope that your Thanksgiving is going well and that you were exposed to family members for just the right amount of time. (strangling Aunt Lucy for her political views results in very hushed conversation at the dinner table later on) Best to mail her a pipe bomb a few months down the road when everyone has forgotten your expletive-soaked rejoinder to that tired old sack of hatred. Sure she makes a killer tater tot casserole but her view that Bolivians trying to cross into the U.S. should be crucified on telephone poles is as puzzling as it is disgusting.

TO THE GAME!

Potato Skins/Cowfolk:

Here you are, the cream of the crop in the mighty NFC East. Washington sits atop the standings just one game up on the Dallas squadoo. Both are looking behind their backs (as is most of the league) at the hard-charging 3-7 New York Giants. No matter. The Cowboys are grateful that wr Amari Cooper is donning their jersey. Why not have a ‘name’ guy catch 3 balls for 36 yards instead of some practice squad-er at a tenth of the cost. Old Double J does fancy himself as the guy that’s way smarter than you and that catch rate of 50% that Cooper had last year? 50% is a great return on any investment, he’ll tell you what. Because Mr. Smith wanted to challenge bone repair surgeons with their most complex case to date, a young Colt gets a chance behind center for the Potato Skins. He’s been around for 10 years? But what about this narrative I just thought up? Gotdamn it!

As Andy Reid likes to say, ‘save some gravy for me’.

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Recovery Whiskey

Good god that was bad. Jimmy Buffett you Rosanned the shit out of that one.

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Eugh. This means the Cowboys are going to the playoffs, doesn’t it?

Fronkenshteen

Home saints, home iggles, @ humps, home bucs, at Giants.
Yep. They’re playoff bound.

Fronkenshteen

He’s gonna fucking explode when they send him to the tent.

Fronkenshteen

Reed ded

King Hippo

now Dacteds is too

King Hippo

Garbage time TD, Dacteds cover. Garbage time FG, Non-gendered Cowpersons get it.

Fronkenshteen

Oh, Detroit already destroyed my parlays. The cowboys will cover.

King Hippo

My one bet (Johnny Reb) looks shite so far. I have MOAR fake currency available in my account tomorrow am.

King Hippo

world’s slowest 2-minute drill

Fronkenshteen

AP put his helmet back on. I wonder why?

Spanky Datass

Colt just couldn’t resist that hot triple-team action.

King Hippo

men all over him again there

King Hippo

yes, buy your wife an exercise bike for Xmas. I’m sure that won’t go over in a way that gets you murdered in your sleep.

Wakezilla

I mean, if she wants it and is explicit about it, sure, but you better make damn sure you have something else there for her

King Hippo

in the ad, she says “how did you KNOW!” so they are advertising doing this as TOTES SURPRISE idea.

/even if wifey is super explicit, I would fear it’s a test

...

I recently read a r/relationships post where a girlfriend was upset that her boyfriend started lifting and that he no longer wanted to go out to eat or drink because it interfered with the diet. The irony of this is that he started lifted after they had a conversation about what they found unattractive about each other and she said he’s too skinny. I genuinely hope he left her for someone hotter and fitter lol

Brocky

eating dinner at my cousin’s place, I go down to the basement and see his teenage so playing call of duty, I sit down by him and start making snide comments, eventually this conversation happens

Him: ugh, these weapons suck, I never get the stingray or anything good.

Me: do you have a butfour?

Him: huh?

Me: a butfour

Him what is that?

Me: , (now somewhat emphatically): Do you have a bufour?

Him: what is a butfour?

Me: …. for pooping silly

a few seconds to by, then he rolls his eyes

Him: i hate you

Fronkenshteen

The criminal mismanagement of both starting RBs has essentially ended my fantasy week on Thursday afternoon. I fucking HATE that.

Fronkenshteen

Vulture Bibbs, AP!

Brocky

comment image

King Hippo

Reminder, we get the Egg Bowl (coo-coo ka-choo) in 20 minutes.

King Hippo

DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK!

Fronkenshteen

Nice run Zeke. Now get ready to block. A lot.

King Hippo

Another DAK!down would be nice, indeed. At least he’s outscoring the Mighty Chase Daniel now.

Fronkenshteen

Tomasula sighting!

King Hippo

We want Sanchize! We want SANCHIZE!!!

King Hippo

Back to gay porn for young Colt.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Goddamnit, Amari, stop making Dallas fans happy.

King Hippo

LOL, Fatty Gruden wears granny glasses

herodotus450

McCoy, Vernon Davis, Adrian Peterson? Who’s running this team, a younger, imitation John Gruden?

King Hippo

90% of the ‘Dacteds throws are to the TEs, one might think the Non-gendered Cowpersons would notice that and adjust coverages.

King Hippo

OF COURSE, right after I give up on him, Cooper goes nuts.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t think he’s dropped a ball yet since he came to Dallas.

Fronkenshteen

He might not be in the perfect place, but he’s in a MUCH better place. He may even smile soon.

Fronkenshteen

Fitz foar me. Smgdh

...

Why spend time bonding with your family when you can be online instead?

*checks Twitter, sees drawing of the Juggernaut’s flaccid dong*

Yes. Yes… Why bond with the family?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll buy a meat pie from pretty much anybody. I love those things.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, so if any of you see something called a crossaint loaf for sale, BUY IT. It was insanely good.

Brick Meathook

“Colt McCoy” is the most gay-porno name ever.

...

Just nothing but fucking in every corner of a barn.

Brick Meathook

Texas Style YEE HAW ! ! !

King Hippo

#EverthingsBigger

Fronkenshteen

TIME TO ABANDON THE RUN DAK!

herodotus450

New rule: players can dance and celebrate how ever they want after scoring. However, if they do, a poll of all viewers is taken on whether the extra point try should be revoked for a shitty dance. The poll will of course be taken by every viewer’s viewscreen and built in microphone which cannont be turned off, even by inner party members, and is always listening.

Gatoraids

Quinn’s mom approved it when he was wearing a sailor suit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The AFC North has always been at war with the NFC East.

Fronkenshteen

Evan Silva talked Trey Quinn up this week. Teammate at SMU of Courtland Sutton. Same school Beasley came from. Silva is a smart motherfucker.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I looked up Eastwood to see how old he actually is. Entry also contains partial list of his spawn. Dude is the Antonio Cromartie of Carmel California.

Spanky Datass

Well, don’t leave us hangin’. How old and how many?

Viva La Tabula Raza

88 and “undetermined” (though they list seven).

Spanky Datass

Nice.

Spanky Datass

Wasn’t the old Ford Edge, back in the early ’90s, those little Mazda pickups that they slapped Ford badges on and sold in N. America?

King Hippo

I enjoy this song that is now being played in ads, since Tame Impala deserves some sweet residuals cash:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ed6UeDp1ek

Wakezilla

I’m going to go out on the limb and say Chase Roullier was given the name Chase because his parents wanted him to be the starting QB of the Cowboys or 2nd baseman of the Cardinals.

The fact that he is a center likely means his parents are disappointed in him

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Chase Roullier sounds like a pseudonym that Brett Kavanaugh would use while indulging his gambling addiction.

...

Kavanaugh seems like the sort to unironically use Max Powers as a pseudonym and get annoyed when you don’t think it’s cool.

herodotus450

“No no no, the name is the thing you mustn’t touch.”

King Hippo

I’m going out on a limb and saying this is not a particularly well-played match

litre_cola

DID YOU NOT SEE MONDAY NIGHT????? IT IS THE SAME GAME.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, that Clint Eastwood reimagining of Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series looks like it took a lot of liberties.

herodotus450

Looks like another CGI: The Movie. Can’t wait.

Fronkenshteen

Jesus. He overthrew that so badly it was almost intentional grounding.