Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
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- The Losers’ Investment Club: Bowels of the Earth – October 4, 2019
- The Losers’ Investment Club: Transportation – September 27, 2019
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
We join things in progress, as ROBERT KRAFT sits in front of the microphone telling a ribald story.
ROBERT KRAFT: …and then I say, ‘I think you’re gonna need another towel!’ [slaps desk] Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!
DJ 3000: [off air] Good God!
PRODUCER: [punches talkback button] Ha ha ha ha! Good one, Robert. Okay, we’re off to commercial for thirty seconds. Sit tight.
The PRODUCER pretends to punch a button labeled “commercial” that is already lit. ROBERT KRAFT smiles to himself and waits patiently in the recording booth.
DJ 3000: This is even more stomach-churning than I expected.
PRODUCER: I’ll say. I can’t imagine what kind of fines we’d have racked up by now if this were actually being broadcast.
DJ 3000: Do you think the audience is going to notice five full minutes worth of car insurance ads?
PRODUCER: Nah. [punches talkback button] Okay, Robert, no more time for stories – we gotta take requests. You ready?
ROBERT KRAFT: [nods as the PRODUCER counts it down] Okay, folks, we’re back! I’m your host Robert Kraft, and it’s time for the part of Request Line where we take your requests! Today’s topic – and it’s one that is very near, and very dear to my heart, is IMPORTS. That’s right, I’m talking about imported talent. Give us a ring…[DJ 3000 starts snickering and the PRODUCER punches his arm]…and we’ll give your songs a spin. I’ll get us started with Cold War classic, “99 Luftballons” from West Germany’s own Nena.
Editor’s note: Today’s theme is imports. We’re only accepting songs by bands that are from countries where English is not the primary language. It’s okay if the lyrics to their music are in English (example: Millencolin). Just in case anybody here is heavy into German scheissemetal let’s put a cap at 10 requests per person.