This weekend, we are truly all Anteaters.  Mad props for you ladies making the NC State “wolf sign” to make me feel sightly less shitty about the NIT.  Spam, spam, glorious SPAM!

3) The “Dueling Banjos” Regional (i.e., South)

Who Can Reasonably Win?  Yes, Wahoowa was the first 1 seed in EVAR to chucklefuck away their first rounder (to a 16).  But shit happens, and they are still a legit contender.  Upon further examination, this isn’t the deepest region I have ever seen.  Basketball hipsters seem to like Tennessee, and shade Villanova.  My take is exactly the opposite, coaches matter – and Jay Wright elevates his game come March, while Rick Barnes trips over his dick.

Who Can Make a Little Run?  Never count out Oklahoma.  If somebody knocks out UVA early, it will be Boomer Sooner.  UC-Irvine should handle an over-achieving, thin K State team.  I don’t see them being too fazed by the Badgers/Ducks winner, either.  Everyone in your pool will be all over under-seeded Cincy, but the sleeper play is putting Iowa into the Sweet Sixteen.  Very, very plausible.

And the Hippo Grudging Nod Oscar Goes To…  Villanova (confidence level – medium).  I am in no way picking an all-ACC Final Four.  Since I don’t like St. Mary’s, Purdue, or Tennessee – the Mildcats’ bracket could open up quite nicely.

4) The “Fatass Flyover” Regional (i.e., Midwest)

Who Can Reasonably Win?  TRUE HIPPO FACT – I dislike U*NC even MOAR than Dook now.  It sickens me how good these cheating dickasses are.  But life is what it is.  Auburn is good, with Bruce Pearl being the epitome of Cheating Pays.  Hey, that would be a fun Sweet Sixteen, Ol’ Roy and Pearl.  The accumulated slime ooze would be magnificent.  Kentucky is capable of anything (good or bad), and I really like the winner of Houston/Iowa State in Round Two.  This would be a fun region without goddamned U*NC.

Who Can Make a Little Run?  Utah State is a real pain in the ass, and could push U*NC to the limit.  It goes without saying, this would make my weekend.  I keep reading that New Mexico State could beat Aubie, and Northeastern the same v. Kansas.  My gut just says no.  And I really, really like Kevin Willard’s hard-nosed Seton Hall team.  I will have them beating Kentucky on a fair number of brackets.  Plus, as the team I think has no bidness in the field, watch tOSU make a run as well, or at least knock out an enjoyable Cyclones group.

And the Hippo Grudging Nod Oscar Goes To…  U*NC (confidence level – medium high, like a low grade fever that leads to explosive diarrhea).  In most of my fever dreams, I see them beating Houston or Seton Hall in the regional final.  But I think if Iowa State gets there, they beat the Holes and make my second weekend.