Request Line: Names, Names, Names!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

A well-tanned PRODUCER and a cheerfully lit-up DJ 3000 stroll into the office.

PRODUCER: Well that sure was a relaxing eight week stay in Puerto Vallarta, wouldn’t you say, DJ 3000?

DJ 3000: SI, SI, FUE MUY RELAJENTE.

PRODUCER: We’re back in the States, buddy.  Better switch back to English before those human piles of excrement that work for I.C.E. slap a tarriff on you.

DJ 3000: [flips boolean]

PRODUCER: I wonder if anything interesting happened while we were gone…

[CUT TO]

DANIEL JONES in the upper boughs of a tree outside a brownstone in Brooklyn, wearing only a lacy camisole and looking very frightened and very confused.

[CUT BACK]

DJ 3000: SO WHAT IS ON THE SCHEDULE FOR TODAY?

PRODUCER: I thought you would know.

DJ 3000: MY CALENDAR HAS NOT SYNCHED YET…AH, THERE IT GOES.  IT LOOKS LIKE TODAY OUR HOST IS…

— [door flies open] —

JOHN DAVID BOOTY: Hiya fellas!

PRODUCER: John David Booty.  Wow.  It’s been awhile.

JOHN DAVID BOOTY: It sure has!  Good to see you boys!

DJ 3000: WELCOME.  I REMEMBER SEEING YOU PLAY FOR THE [hurriedly looks him up on Wikipedia] MINNESOTA VIKINGS.

PRODUCER: What are you…are you…here to host?

JOHN DAVID BOOTY: That’s right!  Me and station management go way back, and I’ve been looking to get myself a few more public speaking gigs, so I thought I’d turn up and show the world what I got!

PRODUCER: Well, that’s…

JOHN DAVID BOOTY: Anyhow, I’m supposed to have a co-host but it doesn’t look like he’s gonna make it – he said his car broke down and he’s having trouble getting a lift.

[CUT TO]

Jason Pierre-Paul standing by the side of the freeway, attempting to hitchhike, looking very frustrated.

[CUT BACK]

DJ 3000: Ninety seconds to air.

PRODUCER: Shit, time is tight.  Okay, so…

— [door flies open] —

ARANTXA SÁNCHEZ VICARIO: ¿Disculpe, DJ 3000 trabaja aquí? [sees him] ¡Aha!

DJ 3000: AHORA NO, ARANTXA.

ARANTXA SÁNCHEZ VICARIO: ¡Pero nunca dijiste adiós! ¡Y tu nunca pagaste la cuenta en el bar! Era mucho dinero.

PRODUCER: Goddamnit, we’re running out of time.  Okay, John, get in there.

The PRODUCER shoves JOHN DAVID BOOTY into the recording booth and starts furiously punching buttons on the console, while DJ 3000 and ARANTXA SÁNCHEZ VICARIO begin arguing furiously in Spanish.  He pounds on the glass to get JOHN DAVID BOOTY’s attention, then counts things down with his fingers.

JOHN DAVID BOOTY: Good day, folks!  It’s your favorite…[looks at PRODUCER, who shakes his head slowly and holds up five fingers]…fifth-favorite…[looks out at producer, who taps his forehead to acknowledge his own forgetfulness and is now holding up a picture of Todd Marinovich]…sixth-favorite former USC quarterback with you for another edition of Request Line.  Today we’re looking for songs whose titles include the full name of a person.  Bonus points for songs that have a first, middle and a last name in the title.  I’ll get us started with one from Green Day.  Lines are open now, so have at it!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyThurberHerderDon TDunstanBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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Don T

This is exactly how I feel right now: Groucho Marx – Lydia the Tattooed Lady

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder

One of the catchiest choruses I’ve heard, I almost wonder if the tune was stolen from a church hymn or something

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder

Teenage Wasteland



Dunstan
Dunstan

Lots of Warren Zevon options: Frank and Jesse James, Mr. Bad Example, or to stretch a point, Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner (you get to take a new name when you die). But I’ll go with:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Closing out with a steal

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pretty sure this counts as a full name:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t think I saw this one taken hey, and I assume her last name is May

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

scotchnaut

“Songs with the full names of people? Here’s one.”

-twbs

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I’m not the only one who did it.

scotchnaut

I have Most Recent Memory Bias Syndrome-how dare you try to shame me!

[calls lawyer]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Then there’s long term memory Bias.
(maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up)
((you got any coke?))
comment image

SonOfSpam

Potato-eating drunk bastards

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

scotchnaut

Today we’re looking for songs whose titles include THE FULL NAME OF A PERSON

/just sayin’

SonOfSpam

(In the South, one name is usually the full name. Two names is hard to remember unless you’re a fancy lad)

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

theeWeeBabySeamus

Double shot!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, wait, triple!!!!!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Lots of one word names, but I guess that makes sense as you probably know a lot of Misty’s, Turquoises, Diamonds, etc. from the local club.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, settle down over there.
Also….LOL.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Senor Weaselo

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

What about pseudonyms?

theeWeeBabySeamus

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Really?

SonOfSpam

Top ten Beatles song? MAYBE.

scotchnaut

Damn! I was just scrolling to see if anyone did this. This is “Deacon Jones in the 14th round”-level value.

theeWeeBabySeamus

SonOfSpam

I think it’s cool that Vampire Weekend has a song on their new name called Unbearably White because it must a tribute to their fans (me included)

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

theeWeeBabySeamus

OH SONOFABITCH I FEEL STUPID NOW!!!!!

Errrrr….i mean good call.

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

scotchnaut

You posted the extended version with the awesome guitar solo and not the radio-friendly crap.

*nod of respect*

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

SonOfSpam

Great burlesque name, and still catchy as hell (Blackhawks games notwithstanding)