Your “National Wiffle Ball Day” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

It’s me again. Have I turned into The Lists Bitch this week? You know I have, dear Commentists. Lists are fucking great, because they keep me from having to expound on information too deeply. Just as well, because my Patriots team preview is taking fucking forever to write and I really don’t wanna take too much time away from it.

In NFL news today:

• On the same day that the Patriots announced they were cutting QB-turned-WR Danny Etling, the Bengals announced their own plans to try out Jeff Driskel in the same position switch. I bet that’s gonna work out way better though!
• The “bone injury” that Colts owner Jim Irsay talked about earlier in relation to Andrew Luck, has now been confirmed by the team’s medical staff as a high-ankle sprain. Since those are quite nagging injuries that need time to heal above all else, Luck will be sitting out the remainder of the preseason.
• Jay-Z and Roc Nation announced an official partnership as “live music entertainment strategists” for the league. This means they’ll get to, among other things, select the halftime performance artists for the Super Bowl. Hopefully that’s better than a bunch of stuffed corporate shirts sitting around a boardroom table, reading off texts that their tweenage daughters have sent them as suggestions for the upcoming game?
• Dolphins RB Kenyan Drake suffered an injury in practise on Tuesday, but HC Brian Flores is hoping he’ll be ready to go by Week 1. While Drake has said the injury is “nothing crazy”, he still had a walking boot on. If he’s not ready to go, Kalen Ballage will get more carries; the two have been splitting reps pretty evenly in training camp thus far.

Cool Shit That Happened In History On This Day

• 1040 – Scottish King Duncan I is killed in battle against his cousin Macbeth, who succeeds him as monarch. Shakespeare isn’t born yet, but he’ll write about it later.
• 1592 – Falkland Islands are sighted for the first time by explorer John Davis.
• 1791 – Haitian Revolution begins.
• 1848 – The Oregon Territory is created by an act of Congress.
• 1901 – The first alleged powered flight, by Gustave Whitehead in his No. 21 monoplane, takes off in Bridgeport, CT.
• 1912 – The United States invades Nicaragua to help with an American-backed coup.
• 1935 – President FDR signs the Social Security Act, creating a pension system for American retirees.
• 1945 – Japan accepts the Allied terms for surrender in World War II.
• 1947 – Pakistan gains its independence from India and the British Raj.
• 1966 – Halle Berry is born.
• 1975 – The Rocky Horror Picture Show, the longest film release in history, opens in London.
• 1983 – Mila Kunis is born.
• 1987 – Tim Tebow is born.
• 2003 – A major power blackout begins in the northeast US and Canada, lasting up to two weeks in some areas.

On TV Tonight

It’s National Wiffle Ball Day today, and it looks like MLB is celebrating by… continuing on with their schedule as previously. That said, if you’re near the northeast, maybe celebrate today by checking out the banner image, at Little Fenway? It’s one of three parks in a backyard in Essex, VT. The others are Little Wrigley and Little Field of Dreams. As I’m a FACKIN’ SAWX fan, it was pretty obvious which one I was gonna post.

Looks like a lighter baseball lineup today, and we see a bunch of soccer added tonight. All times are in EST.

American League

• Mariners @ Tigers, 7:10 PM (FOX Sports Detroit, ROOT Sports Northwest)

National League

• Cubs @ Phillies, 7:05 PM (ESPN, NBC Sports Philadelphia, NBC Sports Chicago)
• Dodgers @ Marlins, 7:10 PM (FOX Sports Florida, AT&T SportsNet LA)
• Mets @ Braves, 7:20 PM (FOX Sports Southeast, AT&T SportsNet NY)

Interleague

• Pirates @ Angels, 8:07 PM (FOX Sports West, AT&T SportsNet Pittsburgh)
• Cardinals @ Royals, 8:15 PM (FOX Sports Kansas City, FOX Sports Missouri)

Little League World Series

• LLWS Championship Game, 10:00 PM (ESPN)

MLS

• Sporting KC @ Orlando City SC, 7:30 PM (ESPN+, DaZN, My65, YouTube TV, FOX Sports KC +, FOX Sports Midwest +)
• Colorado Rapids @ Minnesota United FC, 8:00 PM (ESPN+, DaZN, FOX Sports North)
• Seattle Sounders @ Real Salt Lake, 10:00 PM (ESPN+, DaZN, KMYU, JOEtv, YouTube TV)
• FC Dallas @ LA Galaxy, 10:30 PM (ESPN+, DaZN, Texas 21, Spectrum SportsNet)
• Chicago Fire @ Portland Timbers, 11:00 PM (ESPN+, DaZN, ROOT Sports Northwest)

Other Soccer

• Campeones Cup: Club América @ Atlanta United, 7:30 PM (ESPN2, TSN1,4)
• Canadian Championship: Ottawa Fury FC @ Toronto FC, 7:30 PM (OneSoccer.ca)

Tennis

• Western & Southern Open, 7:00 PM (TSN3,5, RDS2)

WNBA

• Storm @ Mystics, 8:00 PM (CBS, Monumental)
• Sparks @ Wings, 8:00 PM (WNBA League, FOX Sports Southwest)
• Sun @ Mercury, 10:00 PM (ESPN2, NBATV Canada)

That’s all for now, folks. I turn it over to you.