Your “Calling All Pats Haters. Assemble!” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

It shouldn’t be this way. We should be happy. The Browns look like a very watchable, exciting team this year. The Cardinals are conducting an experiment with a dynamic rookie that may take the league’s obsession with the passing game to new heights. Equally interesting is what the Ravens have planned for LAMAR! The Chiefs caught lightning in a bottle and the team is an offensive juggernaut and must-watch TV. I was honestly looking forward to this year…

And then the fucking Pats signed fucking Antonio fucking Brown. With Edelman, Thomas and Gordon, they’ve now got the most talented wideout crew in the league. So now we’re going to see a shit-ton of goddamn wr screens. (I don’t know why this isn’t illegal) So many it’s going to make our eyes bleed. And  this is going to further slow fucking Tom Brady’s decline as a qb. Fuck. Another year of running the table in the AFC East against those hapless franchises. And of course the Pats get yet another fucking cakewalk to their conference’s title game. And no matter who they face they’ll inevitably get some help via one or two dicey calls from their teammates on the reffing crew.

And as legit fans of the sport (and our numbers are dwindling-wonder why) we’ve no choice but to watch it all unfold as though it were foretold. And the league loves this! They eat this shit sandwich up and ask for seconds, and thirds. Whatever. TO THE GAME!

Steelers/Patriots:

Go fuck yourself, NFL and the Pats. The fucking End.

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theeWeeBabySeamusUnsurprisedWakezillaMoose -The End Is Well NighMr. Ayo Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The same model from the previous page. Let’s see how this site does with thumbnails.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That well, eh.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
theeWeeBabySeamus

9/10 would take a beach trip with her.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I really need to check email more often and clear the bullshit out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Spoiler alert: it’s all bullshit

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey I’ve been selected for a PayPal Mastercard.
Why???????
I haven’t used PayPal in like five years.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Every week they honor me with the opportunity to apply for a credit card. Such nice gents.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, that’s making me laugh too much.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That was either perfectly aimed or horrifically aimed, depending on their intent.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Can’t find name, but damn if that doesn’t look like ilsa fischer
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theeWeeBabySeamus

She seems nice. I’d Fish her.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It is Isla Fisher.

Wakezilla

HNGH!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I’ve been selected to get zero interest on all my credit cards.

All I had to do was give them my credit card number.

HOW FUCKING STUPID DO YOU THINK i AM AND WHY ARE YOU CALLING AT 11:30PM?

Oh right, because you’re in Pakistan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Just hand over the carrot, and no one gets hurt.

Horatio Cornblower

Excuse me, do you have a few moments to talk about our Lord and Savior, Equus?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Sir, this is a limited time offer.

Please provide your cc number as soon as possible.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Maybe if a woman called instead of Amir.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Post game show.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Fleshlights have really improved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Nope, everything is fine.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She does NOT look cold.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Cronenberg’s Crash rules.

Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She looks cold.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Niece Waidhofer

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Take Your Daughter To Work Day?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sure, sure…..

[Has four hour lesbian domination movie script in head]

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She does appear to be wearing Wonder Girl’s costume. I actually know nothing about the series other than it incorporating the invisible jet, but I’m gonna go ahead and assume that’s Wonder Girl. I believe it’s her niece in the comics.

Oh. It was WW’s sister on the TV show. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drusilla_(DC_Comics)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Rebirth: It is revealed that Donna was created out of clay as part of a plan to destroy Wonder Woman but the Amazons gave her false memories of being an orphan rescued by Wonder Woman allowing her to live a normal life.[6]

Wonder Girl’s current origin story is the same as Smurfette’s. The saddest part is my remembering Smurfette’s origin story from 30+ years ago but not remembering fuck all about anything important.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

TRUTH ROPE!!

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Horatio Cornblower

Apparently the guy that wrote the original Wonder Woman comics had a serious bondage fetish, which explains why WW got tied up pretty much every issue.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[puts collection back in safe]

No shit?!?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He was also “father of the polygraph” according to … himself. He didn’t invent it, but he was definitely its biggest early advocate and he sold the shit out of it as being accurate. You know the polygraph, the machine that involves wrapping the subject’s chest and arm with straps to measure physical symptoms that suggest whether they are lying. The one that is a total piece of shit and isn’t accepted in any court in America. That one.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygraph

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He invented the polygraph like Bob Kane invented Batman (Batman is almost entirely Bill Finger’s creation, not Kane’s. Kane just marketed the fuck out of himself as the creator.). This led to the best comic book joke of all time: You can tell Bob Kane didn’t write the text on his gravestone (which says he created Batman) because it has his name on it.

Spur
Spur

Am out .Later Folks

Monday Night!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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It can be both.

nomonkeyfun

Time and again, also by Finney was a really enjoyable read.

Gratliff

Progress report:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Those are two rocking dogs.

Three boops each.