Your “You Go Back, Jack, Do It Again” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Well, that was lovely! Would you care for more? TO THE GAMES!

Colts/Chargers:

No pressure, Jacoby. Perhaps it was because he was brought up in the Pats system but Brissett is a very conservative player that rarely throws downfield despite a good arm. Still, the Chargers are ripe for an upset here because of Gordon and his situation, Derwin James not being around and a weak O-line missing left tackle Okung. That’s three difference-makers subtracted from a game. Enticing a gambler even more is the fact that the Colts D unit came together in the 2nd half of the year and the line on this game has blossomed from 3 to 6.5 after a certain retirement.

Bengals/Seahawks:

When I think of superior edge defenders the name Carl Lawson doesn’t come up but his two year win rate of 20.1% is second behind only Joey Bosa. Rb Mixon is the more talented back but Chris Carson will get the better numbers by game’s end here.

Lions/Cards:

Let The Kyler Murray Era begin! (unless Arizona management falls in love with yet another qb in next year’s draft) The preseason game I eyeballed he seemed to be all over the place-like 1 good play, 1 bad, then a head-scratcher but he did end the season with a 65% passing average and a 76 qb rating. I’m guessing that the Lions aren’t going to be remotely ready for what Murray’s legs bring to the table. (table, legs? Woo!)

Giants/Boys:

Here’s the afternoon feature because America’s Turd and New York-area ratings. I’m not complaining however. I wouldn’t even mind Dallas running train on the Giants as long as it means that questions regarding Eli grow louder and speeds his inevitable demise. I WANT NEW THINGS!

Niners/Bucs:

Tampa’s secondary as a whole ranked 28th of 32 teams. Their San Fran counterpart gave up the 2nd-most passing TD’s last year. The over/under is 50. You do the math.

Let’s break that figurative huddle and get out there.

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Redshirt

Aw hell. Seattle is done playing around.

King Hippo

Patricia wearing a “1934” hat, which I suppose is his and Stafford’s combined weight.

blaxabbath

Average weight

Spur

Eli got smoked

Mr. Ayo

Wait, he can do that?

— J. Gordon

Game Time Decision

Smoked what?
-A Reid

Col. Duke LaCross

RedZone showing way too much of DET at ARZ.

blaxabbath

DET threatening again?

Redshirt

Update: John Ross III sucks as much as John Ross. Maybe even more so.

Game Time Decision

But does he sucks three times as much?

Redshirt

Yes. At least. At least John Ross shows no potential so he doesn’t make the field.

John Ross III is at least able to catch the ball so he stays on to commit stupid penalties and drop passes.

King Hippo

I need to go Trailer Park Boys Ray and keep some piss jugs around.

Brocky

One of the worst moments in fantasy football is when you have a player with relatively high projections, then 2 minutes of a game is played and then those projections plummet faster than jay cutler’s blood sugar

blaxabbath

Cards radio announcers already blaming the headset to the sideline for Kyler Murray being a shitty NFL quarterback in a JV system on an untalented roster.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Quick adaptation

Spur

Kellen Moore might know what he’s doing. Those offensive sets looked modern

Spur

TD! Not Witten.

Spur

Nice play calling for the Cowpokes.

King Hippo

Stafford reminding us that fatties have no value in our society

Redshirt

“3rd and 22. We’ll see what the SeaHacks can do. SeaHAWKS can do.”

Bengals Play-by-Play Guy may have accidently created a new name for Seattle.

Game Time Decision

Seconded

Mr. Ayo

More like Air Fail

King Hippo

I’m serious, AZ and MIA might be the worst professional footy sides we’ve seen since the USFL folded.

LemonJello

“HEY! Oh, professional. Carry on.”
-The XFL

Game Time Decision

hold my beer
-AAFL

blaxabbath

Simple Mike is hyping this as the most hyped home opener in years.

I’m going to just start lying all the time Tom everyone. It seems to work for that trust fund [whatever word we use
Instead of fucking retard anymore].

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

2008 Lions though

bk109

Right, gotta bolt lads… Have a good one, failing that two bad blonde ones 😀

Spur

If you’re going to have Erin Andrews report , you need to SHOW Erin Andrews reporting

Mr. Ayo

*paging Unsurprised*

Brocky

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King Hippo

Hoping that AZ and MIA play this season, and it gets national TV coverage.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

BriskettDown!

Col. Duke LaCross

Goddamn Atlanta kept me from finally cashing in $1200 on a big, dumb, five-leg parlay for the first time in my life. I wish Sherman would’ve finished the job back in the war.

King Hippo

BrisketDOWN!!

Spur

Eli is not allowed to lie. He’s a good boy.

Mr. Ayo

You can’t spell elite without ELI.

Game Time Decision

31!t3

bk109

JOE FLACCO(esque)!

Spur

Eli having issues with the new analog play-clocks Double J had installed

LemonJello

Where’s Mickey? Which hand is which?

blaxabbath

Punting from the 5 yard line on their first posession.

Kliff Kingsbury has changes what now?

WCS

Ladies and slapdicks.

Mr. Ayo

My kind of night!

Sharkbait

There are let’s go cowboys charges happening in the Giants bar. This should be good.

Redshirt

Oh, that’s right. Bengals are part-Brown.

Spur

which part?

Redshirt

The mouth because that’s the part that sucks.

Fronkenshteen

C’mon Cannonball Breida!

blaxabbath

anyone have a good streaming link for NFL games? THe ones in my bookmarks are all shot.

Mr. Ayo

Should be something here

https://www.reddit.com/r/nflstreams/

blaxabbath

Got it. Thank you.

Now I can watch the Cardinals and hate myself.

Mr. Ayo

Shit. I’m sorry.

King Hippo

#BFIB get a combined Flaherty/El Gallo shutout, the lead is 4 games, about to be 4.5 WOO!!!!

Fronkenshteen

Big Dick: Nicked

Spur

Zeke can afford a bigger bowl now.

King Hippo

DAK DAK DAK DAK!!

Spur

Devin Singletary had 4 carries for 70 yards. the Bills are fucking stupid

Redshirt

Reds win with a walkoff hit by a relief pitcher pinch hitting.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, dirt ball season is over as of today. Focus on what matters.

Redshirt

I had both games on. Its still kosher.

Mr. Ayo

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King Hippo

the one who started in CF earlier?

Redshirt

Yup.

Gratliff

I need some good Dak Derp

Mr. Ayo

Not yet. Wait for Jerrah to overpay him, then bring on the derpitude.

LemonJello

Ah! The dulcet tones of Joe Fucking Buck and Troy Dainbramage Aikman.

Oh,hello Erin!

Game Time Decision

Already sick of these two

blaxabbath

LemonJello

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Redshirt

Any other team, the commissioner would void the contract and strip the team a 2nd round pick for tampering.

bk109

DO EEEEET, ROGER! DOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET… and yes, I’m a Pats fan. I still don’t like AB… (until/unless he does a whole season without drama, 15+ receiving TD’s, 1000+ yards AND plays well enough to get us our 7th SB win)

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, AB is definitely playing chess to the NFL teams’ checkers.

Gratliff

Foles broke his clavicle. Brutal.

bk109

Eh, how long is that in recovery time?

Mr. Ayo

4-8 weeks. RIP Duval.

bk109

4 first round picks and they can trade back for Lord Bortles

blaxabbath

Gosh, now the Jags won’t be Super Bowl favourites!

hippofant

I wonder if that could have been called a body weight on the QB penalty.

Col. Duke LaCross

When do they trade for Eli?

blaxabbath

Delanie Walker would have been a good FF play today.

Porky Prime

Anyone have RGIII in their fantasy leagues? I think he beat Goff.

Redshirt

May Bengals new coach Zac Taylor’s head coaching career start exactly like Dave Shula’s. And then that’s it!

blaxabbath

Jets new uniforms really making it happen.

It, of couse, being scoring less than 20 points a game.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Adam Gase is a bug eyed fool who never really was that good in Miami

blaxabbath

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rockingdog

gonna drop Rashaad Penny (RB-Seahawks) and add MALCOLM BROWN (RB-Rams)
good idea or bad idea?

blaxabbath

I don’t feel like SEA will ever have big RB numbers. Anytime one of their backs starts to be productive, they just PA.

Mr. Ayo

J. E. S. T. S. JESTS JESTS JESTS!

Gratliff

Alright, Gints. Do the damn thing.

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