So I was listening to the fantasy football channel on my way home from work today (not a sponsor) when I heard a yeller describe a specific play as “bananacakes!”. Sure it could be just a coincidence but I think the long reach of DFO is manifesting itself, peoples! Let’s head over to that thing that gets done on Mondays…
Fallout:
-Is this the year of the backup qb? Sure seems like it. The whole football got rolling with a bit of news that resulted in Brissett being under center. From there we’ve seen Minshew, Rudolf, Bridgewater, (Taysom is just a matter of time) Rosen, McCown and tonight Sieman. And Daniel Jones is right around the corner. That’s about 20% of teams leaning on the guy they feared they wouldn’t have to lean on. And we’re all of two weeks in.
-Speaking of the Giants Jones, coach Shurmur won’t commit to Eli this coming week. He’s in a wee tight spot because owner Mara/GM Gettleman are Eli guys but now he’s asserting himself. He’ll win out eventually with the help of the NY media.
-Those fantasy owners that took a flyer on the Steelers James Washington, don’t throw in the Terrible Towel just yet. New qb Mason Rudolf and JW were teammates at Oklahoma State very recently and did some good things together. I’m not saying that they’ll be gangbusters but just give this a chance.
–“J’accuse…!” So says a lady mural painter employed by Mr. Antonio. An unsubstantiated rumor started by me just right now was that the mural was of an id running wild…
-Broncs fans can take solace in the fact that Manny Sanders is back and doing damage again but be aware that he was matched against the incredibly awful cb Buster Skrines yesterday.
-Adam Vinatieri, unless you get your shit together next week, the noble thing to do would be to take the decision out of your coach’s hands and hang up that kicking tee for good.
TO THE GAME!
Browns/Jets:
Good lord, New York is almost literally limping into this tilt. I fear that rb Bell and his wonky shoulder are going to be called on to carry far too much of the load because Siemian and he’s going to break down. Cleveland had a letdown last week and should come out super aggressive. As with all things Cleveland, this one won’t be pretty.
Do that thingy that you do. It’s so sexy!
Just tuned in. Have the Browns looked competent, or are the Jets just Jetsier than the Browns are Browny?
Yes
Jets are doing a passable imitation of the Iraqi Air Force, circa 1991.
Well, they seem to have borrowed the uniforms of a CFL team.
It’s…almost….like the Browns.. .should use Chubbs more….
Crazy right?
Hey it’s not easy getting a little Chubb and Browns to fit together smoothly.
What is this “touchdown” thing?
Touched by Downs? I thought Darnold wasn’t playing?
this is over now. Gentlemen till Thursday.
I drank a bunch of vodka and tonics at a wedding last night. A bunch.
Who gets married on a sunday?
My wife’s cousin and her groom paid for the wedding, so they got the place cheap. Nice wedding. My wife’s fucking insane uber christian family was bearable, probably because i drank a gallon of vodka. And ignored them
Legit. Good move drinking rather than dealing with crazy
Well the special teams is getting work….
Have the Jets achieved a first down yet?
By penalty
Technically, they get one every possession, and Gase thinks that oughta count.
Baker, you might wanna throw the ball FARTHER than the yards to gain. Not shorter
Sack by the Jets…we get relegated for this week right?
The Jets believe pressuring an opposing quarterback will limit his growth as a person, and so do not subscribe to that particular defensive mindset.
That “Monday Night Mic” was NOT necessary….
I’ve heard of a PB&J sandwich, but never an OBJ Sandwich!
enjoy the trout, i’ll be here at week
Sure. Trevor Siemian being rusty is making his O line forget how to block
“Gotta help out defense out.”
“Ya think?”
Fucking LOLjets…
Ah, yes…the turnstile blocking scheme in action.
They call that the “Holland Tunnel at 3 AM” scheme.
Random person off the street. Same coordinators as current….win/loss total of you replace the head coach.
Id it is my mother …+2 wins over Hugh Jackson with the Browns (at one point 1-31)
Will we see a touchdown tonight?
Well, they’ll do a week 2 recap at halftime, so…. probably then, yeah.
What do you think this is Thursday Night Football? They need the Rush Uniforms for that!
Just make it two hand touch ..
The body weight roughing the passer penalty is insane
Like I said last year, it’s a secret conspiracy to turn me into a raging reactionary
“‘Backup qbs suck!’ ‘Rules that protect the quarterback suck!’ What do you people want!”
-Roger G.
Agreed.
The 2019 New York Jets: two steps forward, holding penalty, ten yards back.
I like.
Apparently the Disney+ streaming service will have The Simpsons. So there goes $6.99/month for the rest of my life.
hey look, the Jest made a first down after all!
Forrest Whitaker? Am I gonna have to get cable?
Nah
Did you see him in “Battlefield Earth”?!?!
That shit looked awesome
Check out the tits behind the Jets O coordinator! Nice
Did Siemian just give a “the fuck was THAT playcall” look to Gase?
Probably. It’s probably his default reaction.
I will never get used to the Bob Burger guy appearing in a commercial. It’s freaky deaky
I want to eat at Bob’s burgers….I have never been drunk and desperate enough to go to Arby’s.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1adiiw
RUN THE FUCKING BALL FOR ONCE!!!
Surprised they didn’t flag that perfectly clean, tough hit
We’ve replaced Baker Mayfield with Ryan Fitzpatrick. Let’s see if anyone notices
“Yeah, I noticed. I noticed it a lot.”
-R. Fitz, Miami
Oldest Fozz Span: “Who in the hell would want to spend time with Adam Schefter?”
A fate worse than Death.
At least you raised the kids to be smart.
Free WiFi.
Gregg Williams looks like he just noticed his toilet is backed up, after he sat down, shit, and flushed.
“When the effluvium hits the anus-that’s when real men assert themselves.”
-Two girls carrying a single cup
This game is gonna get progressively worse isn’t it?
Cleveland’s playing, so …
I really hate how we use apostrophes….I mean fellow black people and our names
Trenton Cannon is a pretty fucking awesome name though.
Don’t get me started on white people names ….
Y’all went crazy…
This guy lives in my building. I’m not saying it’s me, but it might be me:
Skavaril? SKAVARIL? THAT FUCKER OWES ME MONEY!!!
“John Tremendous? John Tremendous? GAWK!”
-J. Parrot
Wow, this is a first. A simian is coming to New York but he’s being welcomed.
…
Adam Gase: Last Defender of the Wildcat.
Adam Gase
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2ZoPtFU9LQ
No, there is another
Deep cut!
Of the two vids posted that was the deep cut? Geezuz!
Ah, yes. The Joker’s origin is an incel failed standup comedian.
I’ve seen the spoilers. Its worse.
Wow the people at lego’s ad agency are fucking crazy bonkers tripping balls
Those wacky Dutch
Glad I wasn’t tripping on acid or shrooms when I saw that Lego ad. Though for a moment I thought I was.
Is there any team that refuses to acknowledge the run game like the Browns?
Bleached Assholes very much appreciate
Isn’t there a football player somewhere, sometime named Will Butcher?
My most hated teams this year: Browns, Patriots, Steelers, the entire staff of ESPN
You leave Katie Nolan alone.
YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!
“No.”
-John Bobbitt, 1993
#HumpMyStump?
He did make a porn movie after it got reattached
Are you threatening or propositioning?
CHRIST, that’s hot. I need a lithe, angry brunette to verbally abuse me for a few hours
And she’s clearly pro-choice so she’s probably down for whatever.
NO RUBBERS FOR US AMIRITE!!??
Hey you guys treat my future ex-wife with respect!
We already banned him from the clubhouse, right?
But his no pants stance is quite intriguing…
He’s just pandering.
That’s dangerously close to pantsdering, get him out of here.
I dunno. He is a beer enthusiast.
Ugh this fucking team
Of course Baker tries to get his receiver murdered…
Butcher. Baker. Coffin Lid Maker.
Bullshit call
Hold my beer! – yesterday’s Donks crew
Some fighting will keep the at home audience engaged.
Good job Jets.
yeah, that hurt.
Wait, Berman is hosting a show on another platform, that I need to PAY for?
ah, the halcyon days of Trever Siemian sucks! v. no, Trevor Siemian is a God amongst men
/ideal cost-controlled backup and I really hate my fanbase (DFO folks and the old It’s All Over Fat Man site excepted)
I miss Trevor Semen. He seemed like a good kid.
we should have Missing Commentist Day sometime