TO THE (late) GAMES!
Panthers/Cards:
Things don’t look very good for Kyle Allen. The left side of his line is in lousy shape and this fella wasn’t even able to finish the one game he got into last year. Carolina will have to lean even more heavily on McCaffrey, who is my choice for the next star player to be dealt a significant injury.
Giants/Bucs:
If you’re in a deep league you could do worse than picking up wr T.J. Jones of the Gmen. Hear me out. As evidenced by his 60+ yd. kick return and his TD last week he’s the only guy with explosive speed on NY’s wr corpse. As backup, Danny Dimes (god I hate that nickname) dealt with seconds (in the literal and metaphorical sense) and so has worked with T.J. often. Usually when a sub plays, the guys that he’s most comfortable with will get extra reps. I don’t like the Giants chances here but I do look forward to the opening up of the playbook for the first time in four years or so. Now available are some Run/Pass options, more believable play action, rollouts and deep throws downfield. You should play Evans and Godwin and even O.J. Howard (despite his big zilcho last week) because the secondary is in really big trouble at the moment
Texans/Chargers:
L.A.’s wr Allen should feast on an underwhelming Houston crew whose safeties are adequate in the run game but useless passing-wise. Their best corner is the very pedestrian Johnathon Joseph. They’d better pray for tons of pressure from the D-line.
Steelers/Niners:
Say it with me-Richie Jones Jr. Who? He’s the guy that has run more times (11 more times) out of the slot than Goodwin. The Steelers slot corner is basically a pylon that has given up 31 catches for 435 yds and 4 TDs. After 2 games!
Saints/Seahawks:
It’s The Teddy Taysom Show! Coach Payton is right to make this a timeshare at the qb position. Bridgewater was an average guy way back in 2015 but has done all of 31-51 for 235 yards, one TD and two INT’s since that time when his leg/knee went all kablooie.
Enjoy the tilts!
This is what I get for betting on Santa Clara. Assholes!
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE
Mr. Nel is pouring the cranberry juice & vodka as I type this
Dickson just unloaded a 60 yard punt. No return.
Mostly watching ESPN boxscore, praying FOAR insurance runs
MERDE
Andrew Miller? NOOOOOOOOOO
I’ve got Geico Lizard at 105 yards and one TD. You?
Half the distance to the goal stops mattering around your own 4 yard line
Wasn’t actually planning on getting shitfaced while watching this game, but it may well be necessary.
YES!
Which team is 2-0 here?
Why they projecting a soccer field’s marking onto the football field?
is primarily a Lesser Lesser Footy stadium
For some reason I thought they were playing in TX, my bad
My second favorite Eli moment:
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/09000d5d81c50b29/Manning-fumbles-on-4th-down
Fondly remembering the first snap in Eli’s career.
https://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/video/giants-quarterback-eli-manning-recalls-the-hardest-hit-of-his-career
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv7DTI-kTzA
Counterpoint
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cXqbqMgNoE
It is so weird that I’m actually looking at the Rams/Browns game tonight and thinking ‘that should be a decent game’
inorite??
Lotsa Gigantes supporters in the Pirate Ship
They are ALL from Staten Island
They gotta get back home somehow.
HEY DOES THIS THING HOLD WATER????
Screw it, let’s try it anyway.
Head Coach: “Nice touchdown, Daniel! Here’s you Chocolate Milk carton.”
Daniel Jones: “I don’t want milk now. I’m trying to win a game.”
Eli Manning: “I lost my job to this heathen!”
Head Coach: “Hey! Back in the Time Out Chair!!!”
I’m going to be spending 14 hours in Texas next week.
So, driving about halfway across it?
Get stuck in a DFW layover?
(Checks fantasy football ticker)
Oh no, I have a Texan and a Charger in my starting lineup.
(Checks more fantasy football ticker)
Oh no no no, I have TWO Texans, a Charger, and a Giant in my starting lineup.
Week 2: The Old, Erratic Eli Manning
Week 3: The Future Hall of Famer Eli Manning
That’s a nice upgrade.
Hawks Floatdown
If both Tiki and Ronde Barber aren’t calling this Giant-Bucs matchup, what are we even doing here?
I guess it IS both Tiki and Ronde calling this game. Well carry on then.
Since the beginning of tramp?
Tiki’s still bitter about the divorce.
Update: Special teamer Cody Barton did what many have no doubt wanted — nailed Pete Carroll in the face at close range with a football
If he isn’t in the Hall of Fame by sunset, then what’s the point of even having a Hall of Fame?!
Jones bootleg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont make Eli cry
Eli is just fine right now. Shurmur bought him a new Mattel race car. ZROOOM!
Jones doesn’t look half bad.
Definitely not a good start.
In related news, Minkah is SO happy to be the hell out of Miami.
I’m With HER – but Janeane is testing my faith here
I love ya Petronel. You know that.
BUT AN UNDEFEATED NINERS IS NOT A WORLD I WANT TO LIVE IN!!!!!!
Well, if this keeps up, then you have nothing to worry about. 🙂
Hope springs eternal.
Garlic fries, always a correct option.
This is a fundamental truth
“Illegal Shift” also the infraction that Bill Clinton would give to interns whose skirts were too long.
TB up on NYG 12-3.
Why do I have the feeling that game is gonna look like the Special Olympics within an hour or so?
A football team scored 12. I think its already starting to look like one.
Saquon ded??
/send Scotchy MOAR BOOZE
Sakky is live! Still, more booze.
When I get elected Evil Dictator for Life, a team cannot call themselves a city name if they are an hour’s drive from that location. They may use a state, providence, territory or a geographic location that they are in, but only if there isn’t another team in that area.
You may have noticed that I always call the Fightin’ Tomsulas Santa Clara
Is that with or without traffic?
Without traffic, at the speed limit, with all green lights and no lines on toll booths.
The Seattle crowds already getting to Teddy Bridgewater
Hey, OJ Howard has improved his stats from last week by infinity percent!
I finally benched him, so OF COURSE.
/Beatie Mixon too
Arizona hasn’t messed up too badly yet.
Yet.
A Giants QB running 10 yards for a 1st down?
That’s new.
Mason Rudolf looks like the villain in a WWII movie.
Funny. He doesn’t look Japanese to me.
So, I have 2 Cardinal WR and 2 Panther WR on my fantasy team, and with unerring accuracy I bench the wrong ones. No one on my bench has less than 7.3 points right now
“Bad Choices: From Pats Jersey Guy To Benching Christian Kirk, How I Rebounded And Made My Life Worthwhile.”
-Doktor Zymm
Pete Carroll was tissuing blood off his own nose. No word on whether Shotty threw the punch.
The government crashed very small drones into his nasal cavity
2nd & 28!
Delayed Draw Play? DELAYED DRAW PLAY!!!!
Throwback to the game with “a probably wet Tracy Wolfson” niiiiiiice fox
Not the greatest start…
The Giants D making Mike Evans look good.
“Jamies, over the years, has had a propensity to make bad decisions…”
Yes. Yes he has.
When you know how bad your team’s secondary is you start te Howard in fantasy.
He’s the only TE I drafted and there’s no one decent on waivers….
I’m torn. My hatred for the Steelers is a well documented account of DFO, both pre- and post-Crisis). But I think I may hate the 49ers more.
We have a solution for this
?w=632
Calcium is kinda perrty.
You know, I could use more calcium in my diet…
Catch….?
The Niners havent been as fun to hate since Har-Har left for Michigan
Hawks just spotted Nola a fast 7
I liked how that one CHawk was double-teamed 30 yards from the play.
Dang it! Gore-wise I was off by 4 yards.
-Jason Voorhees, looking at the trail of blood behind his tractor
What’s a Mason Rudolph?
A reindeer reject?
A reindeer that has more secrets than you.
Hee hee
Concrete guy with a veiny red drunk’s nose?
Overall point remains – there is exactly ONE good team in the NFL. That ain’t likely to change none.
T.Watt with a fuckin’ gift from Cthulu.
How many times did Eli ask to tour that pirate ship?
But no one would go with him, and pirates are scary…
Publishing time was off, Hippo fix. Go MOAR FITBAW!!!
[Bows]
Many thanks.
de nada, Imaginary Spirit Animal. Daniel Jones euphoria, no doubt.
/tell him to throw to Shepard pls