Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Business is brisk at The Salvation Army store on Sundays. It wasn’t always this way, hell it wasn’t even open on Sunday before I offered to put in the time. You see, the shop is a nondescript building that faces another nondescript building and they’re separated by an over-sized walkway. The only other business of note open on the sabbath is a bottle store. I happened to grab some vodka before the football games and noticed the large amount of people loading up. Many of them were a certain kind of people. My kind of people.

I suggested to the world-weary and harried spinster that ran things that I could, perhaps, maybe run a Sunday shift. Hell, I could do it on my own-all she had to do was open up for me. Well, it didn’t take long for her, maybe just three weeks, to decide that missing the beginning of Coronation Street wasn’t worth the hassle. So I got the keys just as I had planned. Of course I was the only one working as well. And sales increased overall by 15% because, as I suspected, a part of the demographic that buys alcohol early on Sunday morning also happens to shop at a used goods store. Sometimes a plan is just that easy to put into action and, you know, execute.

A guy by the name of Brad started stopping by and I’d pour him a coffee and we’d chat away. The cashiers desk was elevated so that I could survey the entire store quite easily all while ‘flapping gums’ as they say. Brad’s clothes were worn but not raggedy so I guessed he’d only recently ran into a rough patch. He eventually made it known that he was working in a wrecking yard and busted up his leg in an accident. Some nasty hospital fees (no insurance of course) and a later infection that sent him right back into care for two weeks put an end to him having an address.

“You know what I miss most about having a place?”, he asked one day. “Huh, no idea”. “It’s being able to sit back today with a cold beer and just relax and watch football.” Of course his team was the Browns-it couldn’t have been any other. The gears started doing their calculations…

The following week I closed the store one hour early so that we could catch the 4 o’clock games. There was a dark dive bar that I knew, the sort of place where everyone is a serious drinker and everyone minds their own business or they’re out the door real fast. Brad drank down that first glass from the pitcher in two gulps. Yeah, as I thought, he liked his beer and didn’t get to drink much these days. I offered to buy him a burger or something but he wanted that alcohol to sit on his empty stomach for awhile. He entertained me with stories of Peyton Hillis, Dennis Northcutt (Dennis Northcutt?) and ‘that son of a bitch’ Butch Davis.

By seven it was time to go because he was sloppy and all over the place. I could feel a few eyes looking in our direction and that’s all it took. I insisted that he grab a spot on a park bench and sober up a little before heading to the hostel where he was staying. He was amenable. Things happened fast. I stuffed a rag in his mouth when his head lolled back, punched him hard in the stomach to knock the wind out of him and then I knew he was mine.

Heading back to the car I was worried about all the spatter on my clothes should someone happen by but it was a sleepy Sunday night and there was only  dogwalker at a safe, unidentifiable distance. Business is still brisk at the store, might stick around a bit longer. Oh, almost forgot-Goodnight, Brad.

TO THE GAME!

Cowboys/Saints:

Dallas wins 20-10 as OC Kellen Moore continues to weave his magic spells over DAK!, Amari and Zeke.

Have at it gringos!

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King Hippo

Bitchin’ Kamara has more speed and power than any other back since Bo.

/reminder that Terrell Davis wasn’t really that fast

King Hippo

7-yard flea flicker. So that happened.

Mr. Ayo

That kind of play calling gets you on Mt. Rushmore.

litre_cola

9 inches of snow today. in September. Snow, that didn’t leave. So much snow.

Gratliff

I’d laugh but I know we’ll get buried at the end of May for lolz

Sharkbait

Climate change is a myth!! /s

King Hippo

explaIN tHat, libTards!!!11

Game Time Decision

Damn. That sucks man. Wait too early for neige

King Hippo

Pretty sure the NFC champion will be Fightin’ Tomsulas, Non-Gendered Cowpersons, or Saints. In descending order of likelihood.

Spur

Dallas being a 2nd half time may take some time getting used too.

King Hippo

worry not, January takes everything back to normal

King Hippo

KEEP IT, DAK

Spur

Very nice throw by Dak

King Hippo

naked bootleg ALWAYS WORKS

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Spur

Dallas is speeding up

Sharkbait

Soft PI is soft.

Gratliff

In super slow motion, they had dudes giving eachother clotheslines and shit on Thursday and neither team got DPI for 10x worse than that during reviews specifically for it.

Gratliff

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck outta here with these calls

Spur

They need to let Dak run a few times

Brocky

So I had to explain what AEW was to my dad, and why there were wwe commercials on fox now.

To his credit he recognized welfare queen

LemonJello

I cannot muster enough fucks to meet minimums required to keep watching this game. Later, Taters!

Gratliff

Hmm. First reported case of west nile virus in a human in my city last night. We should nuke the swamps imo.

Spur

LVE!

Brick Meathook

Here’s a thing I saw today:

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Sharkbait

Engine?

Brick Meathook

That’s a mechanical fire-control computer, which computed the firing solution for the big guns of the cruiser HMS Belfast in real time, all using mechanical gears and cams, etc. Pre-WWII computer technology but they’re fascinating.

herodotus450

Modern computers are almost twice as powerful and as big as a house!

Spur

This is the best time of the year. It’s cool all day, it gets dark at the right time, Football (and NBA) is on.

King Hippo

NBA?? Going OUTSIDE??

herodotus450

That’s probably a typo and he means NHL.

Gratliff

loooooool fuck out of here with a Catholic religion in school commerical. The local Cardinal just resigned in disgrace for like 20 years of aggressive child rape cover-up.

litre_cola

There are few things in the world more pleasing than garlic cheese bread.

Spur

Garlic fries?

litre_cola

More of a bread guy, if it is buttered prior is a bonus.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Halftime, off to the garage. See y’all 4th quarter or so.

King Hippo

Payton’s a sandy vajayjay

King Hippo

NFL is turning into WWE, with less legitimate violence and even MOAR chicanery

Sharkbait

That was some Andy Reid-ian clock management there

Gratliff

Clutch non-TD by Kamara!

Brocky

FACK!

Sharkbait

Bailout call is bailout

King Hippo

even MOAR merde

Spur

The Saints fans would have started throwing their feces on the field if it was correctly overturned. Spineless refs.

Mr. Ayo

The refs are terrified of pissing off NO again.

King Hippo

apparently so, that was 100% clear

Sharkbait

He looked down. MOAR KAMARA!

Spur

Elbow was done from the 2nd view

King Hippo

good FOAR Princeton Red! Proper maths.

/and his elbow is DOWN

Petronel

There is hope for more Manningface in a few years from now. Good.

Spur

Go for it

Gratliff

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a wrestling commercial during football. Maybe they’re more worried about AEW than I thought.

Spur

I might watch some when its on Fox

Gratliff

I haven’t watched it since they responded to the outrage for doing a Saudi Arabia show right after the Kasshoggi murder (It was no less shitty even before that) by doing another huge Saudi Arabia show but never actually announcing it was taking place in Saudi Arabia. Few companies dare their consumers to stop supporting them like WWE does. While I’d love to see AEW pull them back down to earth, McMahon’s loss would just be Tony Khan’s gains so it’s just a billionaire pissing contest.

Wakezilla

I guarantee you they aren’t, and they shouldn’t be.

Gratliff

No, I don’t imagine they are, but Vince is like the human embodiment of petty, so he’d definitely spend more than the entire value of AEW to keep even a few viewers away from it.

Petronel

As long as I can still get NJPW on AXS, I’m happy.

Gratliff

Impact is going to AXS. Not sure how that’s gonna affect it. I think they moved NJPW to Saturday now? I usually catch up on it in bursts usually right before G1 Climax and Wrestle Kingdom.

Petronel

Yep, the new NJPW stuff is on Saturday nights now (currently running after WOW), but they still do small-hours reruns on weekday mornings. Hopefully, Impact won’t fuck that up.

Gratliff

I forgot about WoW. Is that going anywhere? They had some really good talent on there last year.

Petronel

Haven’t had a chance to watch it, so I don’t really know – good to hear it’s good stuff.

Mr. Ayo

And I’m now boycotting Tide.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I didn’t hate that ad as much as I hate a lot of other ads.

Rodney_Peete_is_1337

This guy Randall Cobb, I call him Daniel Tiger because he’s forgettable without Mr. Rodgers

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pastel colored llama hair ad is symptomatic of why this country is so fucked up.

King Hippo

again, a country founded by slaveowners who wanted to be FREE

Viva La Tabula Raza

This movie really hit home with me because I was going from being a junior to a senior in 1976 in Texas, just like Pink and the rest of the crew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lMOL7GaPWI.

King Hippo

you know they’s “real ppl” because they allow a few fatties into the room

King Hippo

needs MOAR DAK DAK DAK DAK!!!

Sharkbait

The fight with the lively brass music was fantastic

Sharkbait

I find the lack of Kamara usage disturbing

Spur

He remembers last year. Doesn’t want to get popped

Spur

LVE is limping. NO NOT HIM!

Gratliff

Is that a Magneto sticker on his jersey?

Spur

You can do that? ! – Eli

Spur

It’s all right, Teddy is going to turn it over on this series.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, quite a day. Worked on Vlad the Impala this morning, then clenched my sphincter for the first 58 minutes of the Orchard Park game. Went over to consult with one of my Navy buddies on an issue with the Impala, his degree is in nuclear physics and he has a better grasp of electrical theory than I. Also, he makes his own whiskey and does a good job of it, so a couple of glasses of that helped move the afternoon forward while we shot the shit and watched the CHI-MIN game. Once his wife ran me off because it was time for them to eat dinner, I decided that I needed a bit more socialization so headed down to the local bar and grill for a couple drinks and a bite to eat; called another naval acquaintance and he joined me for a couple of hours of drinks, onion rings, and sea stories. “This is a no-shitter” is the usual preface to any good sea story.
Hope the Cowboys get the Catholic Priest Altar Boy treatment from the Saints tonight, but I really have a woody to get out and get a few more checklist items done on Vlad tonight. Just dosed myself with a nice strong Massachusetts medical edible, so I might get distracted on the car work. Fortunately I am teleworking tomorrow and don’t have to get up at 4 AM. Nevertheless I will forgo the pitcher of beer margaritas tonight and just stick with the rum and coke. And probably some weed.

Sharkbait

Sounds like a stellar day.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I’m having a breakthrough day.”
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Sharkbait

That run went about as well as Witten on MNF did

herodotus450

Give the ball to the Cobb!
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Spur

I would like to report some elder abuse. Punching an old man

King Hippo

Old Man Witten needs an Ol’ Yeller moment.