Your Saturday Evening “Broken Clocks” Open Thread

Twitter only did two things correct yesterday.

The first was to let the readers of [DFO] know that love is both dead and alive.

If this ugly, yet obviously well-hung troll can land her, then any of us have an equal shot now that she’s wounded.

The second was to let me know about another version of “Chucky Dog” in time for both the Raiders game and Halloween.

Everything else was a cesspool of misery and election memes – both Canadian & American. At least our misery is over on Tuesday.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Game 6: Yankees at Astros – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet
  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Leafs- 7:00PM | CBC
    • Senators at Coyotes – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360 / City
    • Flames at Kings – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NCAA:
    • Kentucky at Georgia – 6:00PM | ESPN
    • Colorado at Washington State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Michigan at Penn State – 7:30PM | ABC
    • Tennessee at Alabama – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Boise State at BYU – 10:15PM | ESPN2
    • Nevada at Utah State – 10:15PM | ESPNU
  • CFL:
    • Blue Bombers vs. Stampeders – 7:00PM | TSN / ESPN+
  • Rugby World Cup:
    • Wales vs. France – 3:15AM | TSN / NBCSN
    • Japan vs. South Africa – 6:15AM | TSN / NBCSN
  • MLS:
    • 2019 MLS Cup Playoffs:
      • Western Conference Round One – Real Salt Lake vs. Portland – 10:00PM | TSN5

Tomorrow I’m in BeerBrother’s company box for the Hawks-Ravens game. There might not be a “Boots on the Ground”, but there will be beers in my tummy!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sure I’m on a lag, but tying run at the plate on the first batter seems like a bad omen for Houston

Senor Weaselo

It hasn’t been a bad omen the last 5 times!

Mr. Ayo

And the tying run has come to the plate!

Drama 4 hours in.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I didn’t realize Junot Diaz also played baseball

Horatio Cornblower

They’re not why the Yankees are losing this game, (the Astros are just a better team and the Yanks have made a lot of bad mistakes), but the umpires are having an absolutely terrible game tonight.

Much like the Yankees, it seems unlikely they will be moving on to the World Series.

King Hippo

Why would Aroldis not be in…NOW?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Baseball men like white guys in clutch situations

King Hippo

something something INTANGIBLES

Horatio Cornblower

Pitched last night and doesn’t do well in non-closing situations.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Look at this guy giving real answers like a bish

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck the Yankees and Fuck AAron Judge, but that was one hell of a fielding job by him.

Horatio Cornblower

He didn’t dive for it, which at first glance might piss fans off unless you take a step back and realize that you absolutely cannot give up another run here.

It was a good play. Almost enough to make me forget how he forgot how to run the goddamn bases two innings ago.

Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, do I drink the same beer Horatio is drinking, open up the other one I shipped him, or go right for the scotch?

Mr. Ayo

It’s the scotching hour.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pacific?

Mr. Ayo

Yes, sir.

Spur

i got some coke

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m on the other one you shipped me and I’ll just say you can’t go wrong with Monkish, but the Will Feral is definitely the better option. It’s really good. The DDH has just a little too much alcohol taste for an 8.1

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Totally agree that the feral is better, which is why they limited the quantity of that one more than the backpack. 🙂

Horatio Cornblower

Treehouse pulls that shit all the time and it’s one of the reasons I’ve cut back on them. You know what’s going to sell, you know you have the capacity to make everyone happy, and you’re just being assholes not doing it.

Mr. Ayo

Oh snap. Tua is actually hurt. Left in an ambulance.

Tua Tagovailoa to the medical tent after this nasty looking ankle injury. pic.twitter.com/AM9cuV11Dx

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) October 20, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Spur

Thoughts and Prayers

BrettFavresColonoscopy

–Jake Fromm

Spur

Yep, Big Love is giving Bosie issues. i hate BYU

Senor Weaselo

Gary Sanchez is streaky enough that he could probably hit a ball 500 feet and then get called out for missing first.

Horatio Cornblower

I chugged a bunch of Proper #12 “whiskey” as a sacrifice to the baseball gods for a Yankees comeback and to say that I’ve been disappointed in the results so far would be understating things considerably.

PROVE ME WRONG IN THE 9TH, GODS, PROVE ME WRONG IN THE 9TH!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Well, más de fuck.

King Hippo

THE MOON REMAINS BORING

Mr. Ayo

But they have an Applebees!

herodotus450

Alabama treating this game like the Civil Rights movement: it either started late or got delayed or is just taking forever.

Spur

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Spur

Tua dead? Or elaborate plan to avoid being drafted by the Dolphins?

Spur

Tua on the Chargers would be TITS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Yes, i watch the NBA. I deserve a spanking.

Brick Meathook

“Coach, I’ll do whatever it takes to be a nine-inning player.”

“That’s a good attitude, son. Suck my cock.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“The old man didn’t even make it through the first inning…..”

So to speak.

Spur

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King Hippo

BEST ONE YET

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dagger earrings…..

Horatio Cornblower

John Smoltz saying Judge was in an impossible situation when Judge was looking right at the guy making the diving catch, with plenty of time to get to 2nd if necessary, is driving me insane. I’ve literally benched 11 year-olds for making mistakes like that. Sure, they cried and their parents hated me, but who’d laughing now assholes, who’s laughing now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve literally benched 11 year-olds

I didn’t know you were a priest!

King Hippo

Hilarious, FSU gets ball back with 35 seconds, down 2, no timeouts. Own 24.

Play 1 – QB sits in pocket forever, then drops ball cocking his arm. OL recovers, slowly back to line.”

Play 2 – QB drops snap. Fin.

herodotus450

I thought Jameis graduated?

King Hippo

well, “left”

herodotus450

Literally left without paying smh

Spur

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King Hippo

good fashion sense!

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t imagine how she earned that flight on a private plane.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Noice double play there.

Mr. Ayo

Great play by Bradley. I thought that was dropping in.

Horatio Cornblower

That is some Down’s syndrome base-running by Judge right there.

King Hippo

LMAO, that guy sucks at defense, too

Spur

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Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Can’t believe the Longhorns didn’t fuck that up somehow.

Spur

Leave #8 from Michigan behind. Dude blows

King Hippo

they’ll make a place for him in Happy Valley, then

Spur

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Senor Weaselo

Slight exhale, only 2. Granted, “only.”

Spur

Nice 4th down play by Michigan

King Hippo

Is the Yanks’ catcher a make-a-wish kid or sommet?

Senor Weaselo

He might be Groot?

Horatio Cornblower

He was notoriously bad at defense in the past, but credit where credit’s due, he worked his ample ass off and got a lot better during the regular season this year. Unfortunately he has absolutely sucked at the plate in the post-season and it’s carried over to his defense the last two games, which has been godawful.

Boone needed to sit him down two games ago.

Spur

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Redshirt

Michigan must be approaching puberty because Penn State seems to be losing interest in beating them anymore.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Banner this

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

That water is the most calories she’s consumed in a week

Viva La Tabula Raza

Semi-bananacakes UT/Kansas

Sharkbait

How the fuck is this ALCS game still on?

/Not watching.

//Jay Cutler DOOOOOONNNNTTTT CAAAARRREEEE

theeWeeBabySeamus

MLB is sending me subliminal msg’s thru the TV. Either that or my TV is shorting out.

Mr. Ayo

What are the messages?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not sure. But imma assume Hippo is correct. Brb.

King Hippo

kill ur neighbours

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Spur

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King Hippo

Dirt 500s made a baseball point

Spur

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Spur

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Mr. Ayo
herodotus450

Tua hurt/out?

Spur

Michigan is resisting Pedo State’s hardest advances

King Hippo

have to play hard 2 get if want the premium candy

herodotus450

This guy Charbonnet I call him a 2003 because he’s full bodied and buttery but he’s got no legs.

Spur

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Redshirt

I’m surprised no away team’s stadium hasn’t/doesn’t use Law and Order: SVU’s opening chimes to taunt PSU.