Your “That There’s Slim Pickings” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Thank goodness they staggered the two games on offer, huh? And the featured game is between two teams that the majority of football fans would like to have fired into the sun. But let’s think about that for a second. Why would we do that to the good old sun? It was your fault you got burned that day-you forgot to re-apply the sunscreen. And the sun is a job creator. It was the one that originally determined when the tides came in. It gave that task to the moon as soon as it graduated from college. Now look at how the moon is thriving! The sun is a good friend.

TO THE GAMES!

Jags/Titans:

Poor Jacksonville is gonna get bulldozed as though it were a shantytown somewhere in Africa. The head bulldozer goes by the name of Derrick Henry and he has some experience. The Jags give up the most yards per rush in the league and allowed two rb’s (Williams and Mack) to gain 100+ against them last time out. This one is gonna hurt.

Cowboys/Pats:

One has to wonder how New England is going to score, what with both Sanu and Dorsett both out and the running game being the shambles that it is. Even if wonky-kneed Cooper is ineffective Dallas still has Gallup and Zeke and DAK! out there making plays. I just get the feeling that the Pats are going to be exposed today as GrumbleLord begs everyone to not look behind the curtain.

There ya go. Make some words.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
323 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Gratliff

The worst part of that Seahawks game is the Eagles didn’t get blown the fuck out of the water. Now if it breaks that the Eagles get the Chawx in the wild card round, every WIP dipshit is gonna talk about how we almost won while pretending Russ didn’t have one of the worst games of his career combined with a few brutal drops.

Spur

i have a whole gaggle of Rodgers in San Fran jokes for tonight

Gratliff

So it looks like we’re still set to watch Eagles and Cowboys rock-paper-scissors for the right to get fucking annihilated

Spur

yep

litre_cola

Think yous still have an edge on us. We cant catch herpes in an Albanian brothel.

LemonJello

That’s only because in Warsaw Pact brothel, herpes catch YOU!

Fronkenshteen

Welp. I said, in this space, I thought the ne defense wasn’t all that and Cooper and Gallup would have big games. As Ron white would say, “I was wrong”

Spur

I hate football

Brick Meathook

Winnipeg scores!

comment image

litre_cola

Only in the summer!!! Winter is dire.

Redshirt

How long was that last second?

Spur
King Hippo

Should still take a knee, just throw it through end zone on 4th down

Spur

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Spur

welp back the NFCLeast

Spur

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

What’s the cheat code again?
Left, Right, Up, Down, A, B, Start?
/gets punched

Well it was worth a shot.

Mistborn Impossible

B, A, B, A, select, start. For two-player ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mr. Ayo

Works best when using one’s tongue.

Spur

If Garrett had any balls he would beatup the ref who called the flag on Fredrick.

JustStopDude

That would have been a catch if Brady had thrown it …

King Hippo

ref gives Belicheat a re-assuring pat on the belly

Spur

Give this Dallas roster to anyone else and they are winners.

Gratliff

As I’ve said before, Princeton has enough talent to keep him in that job forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL_mm7_D1wM

Spur

that’s game.

Mr. Ayo

Game over. Nice cover princeton boy.

King Hippo

3 timeouts left, if they stop NE, they MAY kick the FG

Mr. Ayo

Oh right, darkest timeline.

WCS

Womp womp

Mistborn Impossible

I think it’s rather unlikely any of the players are guilty of tripping. Opiates? Sure, absolutely. But I’m pretty sure no one out there is flying on psychedelics, TROY

Redshirt

This is what we get for putting our hopes on the Dallas Cowboys.

Spur

what? Dude, i love my team but they are abusive. Stay away

Petronel

comment image

Gratliff

NAWWWWWWWWWWWWT A CATCH

Gratliff

You’ll never get a chance to beat teh Pats if you can’t even get past the mid-boss referees

Spur

WTF!!!!!!!!!!! these BS calls

Charge of the Light Brigade

The amount of cop shows on CBS can only be tallied in irrational numbers.

King Hippo

Here comes teh BLEERGH again, falling on our heads liek a memory…

Spur

comment image

hippofant

Me on Monday mornings.

Spur
Gratliff

One of the best musical sequences in cinema imo

theeWeeBabySeamus

You ain’t wrong.

Spur

Alexa, record my conversations while you’re off and send all my data to Amazon

Spur

90 yards to victory!

LemonJello

Jaguras lose and meth sales in Duuuuuuuvvvvvvalllllll….well, they stay pretty much the same, really.

Spur

comment image

Gratliff

A surprisingly bad round of playcalling for hoodie mcdipshit

King Hippo

Gritty drop!

Spur

it was a pick play as well

Spur

thats not good

Gratliff

Yup. THat’s what he does.

Gratliff

Frank Gore’s neck is ridiculous. They should just slap a Juggernaut helmet on him.

Spur

comment image

Game Time Decision

Drink mine, fine, I’m going to drink yours

Spur

Aikman hates Garrett

WCS

There’s that Ivy League bravery.

Spur

comment image

Spur

Dak should have ran on 2nd down

Game Time Decision

ROUGE!!!!!!

litre_cola

A rouge!!!

Gratliff

comment image

Game Time Decision

You at the game?

litre_cola

Nope, got back from Mexico last night and still have the shakes.

Game Time Decision

Wouldn’t the shakes keep you warm? Lol

Mr. Ayo

Oh god dammit! I get up for one second and I miss the one play I wanted to see.

Redshirt

I’m surprised the refs didn’t penalize the receiver with illegal forward pass.

Gratliff

Now for the weekly Jason Garret Gets Too Cute sequence

WCS

Well, Princeton did beat Penn yesterday…

King Hippo

Boola boola!!

WCS

COBBBOMB

Which will result a missed field goal try.

herodotus450

TD and missed extra point even more likely.

King Hippo

The coaching disparity in this fucking game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Derrick Henry has 28 FF points and counting.
Which means I now really do have to kill Game Time Decision.

litre_cola

He is a tall drink of water

theeWeeBabySeamus

Derrick Henry or GTD?

litre_cola

GTD

Game Time Decision

Haha.