That’s Gonna Burn You

As some of you already know, I have been growing hot peppers for the past several years.  Some of you have “benefited” from my harvest.  This year alone I’ve mailed out over 10 lbs of hot peppers (as well as some seeds).  I still have about 3 lbs ripening and they’re almost ready to go.  ‘Twas a good growing season.

Having said that however, I don’t eat that shit.  Those of you who do are insane.  I enjoy growing things in general and have gotten pretty good at the cultivation of the peppers.  It’s fun for me.  It’s a distraction from real life I guess.  But I try to be very careful about it.  When you top over a million scovilles, don’t fuck around.

As an aside, unfortunately, my abilities at growing weed is not nearly as good.

(yeah, don’t I wish)

But regarding the peppers specifically…you couldn’t pay me enough to eat one of those things.  And here’s why…

When the cold weather started to set in I knew it was time to pull this year’s vines and get rid of them.  The guy who does our landscaping/yard maintenance is a funny guy.  He’s one of the few human beings in the world who actually likes me.  Well, at least he used to.

But a couple of weeks ago, before I had pulled the vines, they were drooping onto the ground.  And when he went by on his lawn tractor and unknowingly hit one of the vines, apparently he got hit in the face by a buttload of capsaicin as the mower blades more or less aerosolized it.

Was it my fault?  Yeah, sort of.

But yesterday was the funniest part.

I had finally gone ahead and pulled the vines out as soon as Robbie (not his real name) had his lawnmower man run in with my vines (phrasing).  But I left the vines sitting aside to dry out so they could be disposed of safely.

Well, yesterday I guess a squirrel got hungry….and well, you can probably see where this is going.

I’ve never seen a squirrel run so fast while being terribly disoriented, and probably a little pissed off too, in my life.

It looked a little like this…

And yes, I laughed.

Next Year?  Carolina Reapers, baby!!!!

Prepare your anuses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfOdWSiyWoc

(now if I could just get weed to grow)

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