Our resident Sexy Friday writer, TWBS, is indisposed at the moment and so he asked in the back room if anyone wanted to take over today’s Open Thread. Naturally, I volunteered.

Someone else also volunteered, but I made the argument that this is no regular Open Thread, this is SEXY FRIDAY! And who better to bring you Sexy Friday than your resident pervonaut? (H/T to bk109 for introducing me to that term in one of the football open threads. At least I think it was bk109. I could be wrong. It’s been known to happen.)

I was given the ASSignment.

As I started writing this, I was trying to figure out what theme to use since TWBS always uses themes. Then, I looked at the calendar and it was a no-brainer.

The only thing left was for me to dig deep into my memory of all the 80s horror movies that featured scandily-clad females and the post practically wrote itself!

In particular, I want to pay special tribute to a very special lady that helped me and I’m sure a bunch of you fellow perverts persevere through puberty and become the horny adults we are now. I speak, of course, of Cassandra Peterson, aka Elvira, Mistress of the Dark!

For those of you that are too young or lived in other parts of the country, Cassandra/Elvira used to host a weekly TV show on channel 9 here in LA (don’t know if it was syndicated, but I think it was) where she would show horror movies and make smartass comments and jokes in between the commercial breaks. She’d do some skits and jokes but she was always and I mean ALWAYS wearing that trademark black dress cut high on the leg and cut deep in the bosom exposing her tremendous cleavage.

Now, you might think that all I cared about was boobs (like a typical boy going through puberty), but the thing that I liked the most about Elvira was her smartass attitude and her sarcastic and hilarious jokes. I emulated her and I’m a sarcastic smartass because of her. She taught me that women could be gorgeous but that what really counted and made them appealing was what they were like on the inside.

Subsequent explorations into dating and meeting girls only confirmed the lesson that Elvira taught me: You want a girl that’s confident, funny, and not afraid to be herself.

Cassandra was also very smart. She managed to keep all the rights to her character and thus continues to make a tremendous amount of money off merchandising, public appearances, movies, etc. There is even an article I found that said she was a female role model. I completely agree.

Here is an example of some of her work:

You really should watch that video. It’s a combination of scenes from her movie and parts of her TV show.

So, before we get to the sexy pics, I do want to say something. There has been a lot of talk in recent weeks about what is acceptable as far as cheesecake on this site and if we should discourage people from posting sexy pictures for fear of offending people or alienating potential readers.

I’m sure you can figure out which side of the debate I’m on.

I maintain that posting or looking at sexy pictures of women or men is healthy and not demeaning or objectifying. I’m heterosexual yet I can appreciate a dude that has a nice ass and I’ve commented on such pictures in the past when they’ve been posted.

To me, the pictures are a celebration of the human body and the beauty that lies within it. The beauty is not restricted to one gender, one race, one height, or one weight. Physical beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and is in the eye of the beholder.

Furthermore, just because you enjoy looking at pictures of attractive people doesn’t mean you’re “all horned up” or trying to get other people horny. It means you enjoy looking at beauty, plain and simple.

It also doesn’t mean that you are reducing their existence to just their physical features. Mature adults understand that there is more to a person than just physical appearance. A lot more. Looking at a picture and appreciating someone’s physical appearance doesn’t translate into demeaning them.

So, to finish off this little speech, I vow that I will continue to post sexy pictures whenever I damn well feel like it and I encourage everyone to do so whenever they feel like it.

If people get offended, the only thing I can say is that I mean no offense and I’m only sharing my perception of beauty with the world. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. If you feel offended, I’m disappointed that you took my posting in that way, but I am not posting to offend. If you don’t want to read this site any longer, that’s also disappointing, but this site doesn’t accept advertising for a reason: It’s meant for authors to share their views and work with the world without a corporate entity telling them to “stick to sports”.

This site will never make any money and will never grow beyond its natural size. There are apparently enough people beyond those that actively comment that lurk/read so that our Alexa ranking is #11,133,860 in global internet traffic and engagement over the past 90 days.

Works for me.

Without further ado, here are your Sexy Friday the 13th pics:

I’m not putting up any TV listings because you all should be checking out Netflix or Hulu or Amazon or any of the other choices you have in the entertainment world and finding a good horror movie to watch tonight. It’s the perfect night for it.

Which will you watch? Please share in the comments.

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