Here’s hoping that none of my guys defecated the bed during the early slate.
TO THE GAMES!
Jags/Raiders:
Jacobs is listed as questionable and has said he ‘has plans’ to play today. Kinda sucks for you fantasy folks because of the start time because Jacktown’s D has quit on the team. Still, I’m sure you handcuffed him with DeAndre Washington so at least you’ve got a low-end rb2 to play if Jacobs can’t go. You did handcuff him, right?
Browns/Cards:
Look at these cats playing out the string! The toothless Cleveland pass rush faces off against the porous Arizona O-line. Not much to choose from here although Mayfield has slowly improved after his lousy start. He still has a qb rating more than 20 points below the league average when passing from a clean pocket though.
Minny/Chargers:
Remember the Vikes formidable secondary? For the last six weeks they’ve given up the 4th most points to opposing wr’s. After the first three weeks of the season you may have thought that Diggs getting to 1,000 yards would be a tough go but he’s sitting at 999 right now.
Rams/Cowboys:
Have the Rams put it back together? Gurley has been RB8 the last month with added volume, Goff’s passing has become more accurate and Woods has been WR4 since week 10. Good luck with Amari Cooper-you have to play him despite the fact he’s WR34 over the last month and he now draws the unwanted attention of Jalen Ramsay.
Falcons/Niners:
Who’d have guessed that Raheem Mostert would have emerged the winner of the Coleman/Breida battle for most touches in San Fran’s backfield? He’s gone for 23 and 25 points the last two times out and he’s had as many carries of 15+ yards (12) as McCaffrey on 146 less oppos.
Do your blurst in the comments.
good job Zeke
Wait why is Dallas in the red zone goddamn it Goff
Sean Lee playing out of his mind
u win internet 2day
Doing my best to take mind off fantasy playoffs by watching Street Fighter finals and shit talking
How come the Dallas Cowboys can’t build a stadium that doesn’t get fucked by afternoon sun? (see also: Texas Stadium)
Wasn’t that supposedly intentional? I recall reading it was built to shine sunlight on the visitors’ sidelines at the right time.
How much moneys did DAK DAK DAK DAK!!!! lose by screwing up the deferral choice?
Jerry Jones should get hepatitis from his Johnhy Blue. BLENDED! YOU DRINK BLENDED WHISKY YOU CUNT!!!!
as if he didnt already have it yeeeeeeeeeehawww I got everything
Never nice Dallas drive.
Halftime sexy time! Everybody make out with the person to your left!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SXUezPili4A
That’s a great tune. But I think I’ll pass on doing my son’s girlfriend. She’s not my type.
Dak keeper or throw it to Coop, please
speaking of MAGA Cunts
I love watching the Joe Bob Marathons on Shudder and alot of time he opens up with some anti SJW rant that is a bit too annoying but at least he took a rant to protest Republican congressmen not giving people an multiple chances when they fuck up cuz what else you going to do.
Monstervision was better than anything Nelson or Allen ever did
Get Shudder the marathons are great , but their horror grind house catalogue is my most watched streaming service
Uhm… I think that sentence broke my brain… Food stamps and welfare, yet no help….. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
This is very, VERY Murrican. Just short of “keep your government hands off mah welfare!!!111”
sorry, “off mah Medicare”
/brain is borken
I know, lol. A thankfully, the now ex-fiancee to wifey’s younger sis proudly proclaimed that he’d seen zilch from the US Gov’t and that welfare and social safety nets are unamerican… Despite the guy using ROTC to pay for his education (and planning on staying in uniform for as little as possible), proudly using TriCare among other federal and local programmes. Luckily, that same christmas, my sis-in-law found out that he was cheating on her, so she used her USMC training and kicked the everloving shit outta him (I had to half-heartedly pull her away from him). I still have some faint blood stains on the floor from that too! 😀
He was great in The Incredibles so I don’t care what he believes in.
I almost peed my pants laughing when I saw Colin Mochrie do this. So out of the blue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1K_ATTHm24&t=42s
Awfully raycess of Wayne Brady to only impersonate black celebrities.
You’d think he would know better. Stupid ‘bleep’, ‘bleep’ and their ‘bleep’ thinking! Amirite?
Of course this will be the one game the Cowboys win against a >.500 team all fucking year
The Derp shoe hasn’t fallen yet. It’s coming
Is Tim Allen still a MAGA c*nt? Can’t remember if I’m still supposed to hate him.
Love to have the dude who got out of life in prison by turning state’s evidence on everyone he knows tell us how real Americans are supposed to live
It’s a valuable lesson, tho – you can always make/buy new friends, but prison rape’s forever with ya 😀
[makes ape grunting sounds]
[makes 10’s of millions of dollars]
-Tim Allen
He was great in Galaxy Quest so I don’t care what he believes in.
And I found Aaron Hernandez quite serviceable on the field, but I can’t exactly overlook him killing people (even if he’s technically innocent, because US laws are written by fucktards).
Or Louis CK funny, yet overlook his creepy-ass behaviour.
Or a Bruce Willis movie without noting that his movies have been atrocious for more than a decade now…
My monster money league team is currently leading 121-37. Given this news, I’m going to pretend that life is good.
nice to make your kids play fantasy with their allowance
I’ve got Shogun on my ass. Which makes me sad. I miss that guy.
Let me rephrase that.
The three year old drafted kickers in the first two rounds. She’s so fucking stupid.
3rd and 12, throw an seven yard out route.
BABY BUSTER
Some top notch coverage there, Rams
and NAWT GALLUP goddamnit
Baby Buster getting brave
looks like i played Jimmy G on the wrong week
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd1ciPnTGKg
G the Pieped Piper of fantasy
So the ad music for a TV show called 911 Lone Star is a 45 year old song by a band led by a Canadian Mormon? Weird.
Given that the storylines, acting (especially Angela Bassett’s OVERacting) and camera work in the mainline show sucked oh-so-very-much (wifey used to watch it until it got too putrid to even be used as a white noise generator), the music yer least problem :p
Unrelated – not too shabby for a compact DSLR + a “master of none” lense,eh? (And for the love of Jebus, if any of ya shoots RAW, POST-PROCESS damn it!)
That’s very nice. And yes, I do shoot RAW.
Doin’ it RAW is half the battle, lol. Lightroom/DxO/etc is the fun part where ya get the most outta your gear (Personally I use Lightroom, ’cause it does the best job of doing lens geometry corrections) , lol. OTOH post has a bit of a magical aura to it, ’cause I had a neighbour who had shot an entire christening with his lens set on manual focus that thought that “somehow” with “the right AI apps” I could salvage ANYTHING from there XD
nice
That’s gorgeous. No shit.
I used to shoot the moon a lot (no pun intended) and never did any better than that.
Unfortunately, all the credit goes to the hardware becoming more and more user-friendly (in my case – wireless remote shooting, with a live preview and motorized manual focusing :D) … Thank bleeeping Christ that I’m just young enough to’ve missed the film cameras alltogether ( VGA Cam Phone -> KodaK EasyShare Compact job for the longest time… -> DSLRs as soon as I could start affording those) Hell, the thought of how many rolls a simple web interface saved me just tonight gives me the shakes 😀
Real men shoot film.
Real men shoot digital, only hipsters shoot film…. ARE YOU A HIPSTER?!
I know I’m stoned, but……did George Kittle just make a white power hand gesture after his last catch?
like this
NODOBY DENIES THIS!!
Like this
Nope. Pentagon Jr. hand gesture for “Cero miedo” or zero fear.
Kittle’s an unapologetic wrestling guy
Thank Christ.
Ya. It’s gonna be hard for him to maintain context for it as he gets bigger and dipshit racists throw it out every 15 seconds, but he’s got cleats with Penta’s face and shit on it too. Huge nerd.
NFL: “Full time refs? What would we need them for?”
To be taught to count to 12? We had a flag in the Pats game, ’cause apparently the refs ran outta fingers 😀
In this case, to turn up their hearing aids enough to administer a coin toss.
MARKELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
after giving up the tying bucket, he nailed a contested, double-clutch 60 footer FTW
I thought you said you weren’t watching.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME?
Damn, I’ve only ever asked that of women.
Better than how long have you been watching me.
That’s shit aint no one need to see.
last 64 seconds
Well that’s shorter than most of the women at least.
Hey, remember that day when you wished you had started Amendola in front of Julio Jones?
Yeah, me neither.
The ‘Aints’ defense better kick some ass tomorrow.
Zeke feast would be nice today.
Aside from the Pats, are there any teams that you think understand/practice coin toss semantics?
Calgary Stampeders.
NC State Basketball on the verge of letting UNC-Greensboro come back and take this game.
Sorry Hippo, I had to ruin your mediocre day.
Still not sure if the ‘Ertz’s are siblings or lovers, but I am sure that they shouldn’t quit their day jobs to become actors.
She looks like she could kick my ass.
I have to pay extra for that
Must’ve been exhausting to keep that pose long enough to be painted.
Really gotta work on the hamstrings to perfect levitation
Nanodrones.
#ThePauls!
Cowbois apparently fucked up the coin toss and will kick to start both halves?
Literally didn’t know you could do that. Thought it was literally set to do the opposite on the next kickoff.
Technically it’s “defer”ing your decision to the second half. I blame the Madden video game franchise for never making it clear.
You guys joking?
Dak refused to defer, which apparently means they don’t get to defer, which apparently means they don’t get to receive a kickoff, because rules?
Dak “chose” a side of the field, instead of deferring. I guess.
Apparently Cowbozos could fuck a up a stainless steel ball with a rubber hammer.
Princeton should be forced to drop at least 20 places in the college rankings for that.
Right above Brown in the Ivy rankings at least.
Hip folks in Providence don’t give a fuck about no rankings man.
Princeton Red FUCKED UP THE COINFLIP ELECTION
Hmm. No. Indeed.
Just noticed the Eagles are sitting in first place for the first time since Week 1. Don’t fuck this up, McVay.
Caaaapppppptttttaaaaain Dingleberry! AHOY!!!
SUCH A MELVIN AMIRITE??
Speaking of luck…ALL THE GALLUP POINTZ PLEASE
All success is based on luck. This is still less lucky than just being born rich, but still bullshit luck.
oh dear Christ!
One assumes he had 50k to spend and didn’t just mortgage his home, but still
$55K?
Did this ticket belong to a Hippo?
THE MOST I HAS EVER HAILED GAMBLOR ON A GAME WAS $1K, AND ONLY TEH ONCE
“All success is based on luck” is a good motto for Universal Basic Income, if Murricans weren’t so in denial.
am gonna start drinking now
Also, I refuse to ruin even a mediocre NFL Sunday watching Shitty Wolves lose to goddamned no-neck Tarhole buttboy Wes Miller’s UNC-G
Ladies in the top 10 now.
Why does every TE in the league suck so much ass?
RUN TO THE MIDDLE SEAM AND CATCH A FUCKING BALL YOU ASSDICKS!!!!!
Laird eats ALL THE ASS. Should have risked Josh Jacobs.
Satan <3 DONKS WOO!!!?
Lock, Drew
DEN QB
DEN 3 @ KCC 23
Final
Pass: 18/40/208, 1 Int; Rush: 2/3
6.66
Oh dear lord, the Bears think they’re Stanford.
WHERE’S THE BAND?
Dumbass bear at the end got greedy.
Green Bay is turrrible
Nice play design by Nagy there, though.
The degenerate gamblers are gonna love that fumble-six
I did nae bet any NFL today (did well on Lesser Footy, LD Alajuelesne could make it GREAT), but I felt good for the degenerates who had the Iggles (at that line, any Dacted bettors should have been on the moneyline)
Hippo and I are in a dogfight. I’m gonna regret leaving scary Terry on the bench
FOAR teh ppls – every single Sharkbait bench player is in double digits. 😀
‘/Hippo’s Opium Den still gon’ lose
found a funny:
[christmas morning]
ME: I have no gifts to bring
EVERYONE: booooo
ME: …pa rum pum pum pum
EVERYONE: yayyyyyy
Did the LDB contest just end for everyone?
I only just woke up. I need to get my diurnal cycle back on schedule.
Russell still thinks he gon’ get MVP away from Lamar!!!!!
I need Stefon Diggs to not fuck up on the late slate.
Let’s get crunk.