Instant Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Sunday (2019 Season)

Andy Reid sucks in the playoffs – the meme was going strong in Q1.  Missed assignments, ridiculous drops, a blocked punt, and a muffed punt.  A perfect storm of hell, and the 500s led 24-zip.

At the time, my imaginary goal for the Chefs was to cut it to 24-14 at the half.  Receiving the 2nd half kickoff, they’d have a puncher’s chance.  For that “24” was a bit underwhelming.  Buttchinski called time out, and talked himself out of going for 4th and a foot from the KC 11.

The Chefs needed a big play, and got it on a Hardman’s kickoff return across the 50.  Lightning quick TD and not chasing points early – 24-7.  Then an embattled defensive unit forced a 3 and out, except the 500s (after being ultra-conservative 2 game minutes earlier) went for a fake punt from their own 30.  Seemed a little cray-cray, but it would have worked if not for a GREAT open-field tackle by bald white dude and future KC mayor Daniel Sorensen.

Fat Andy and Mahomes-y weren’t comfortable with my plan, and proceeded to score FOUR touched downs in Q2.  Fairbirn missed from 52 to end the half, 28-24 KC lead.

In the 2nd half, KC ran off another three consecutive scores, before settling for a Q4 field goal on drive #8 to go up 51-31 (which would be your final).  Seven consecutive TDs is indeed an NFL post-season record.  Patrick Mahomes is a legitimate superstar, possibly one for the ages.  And Andy Reid has (in my mind) the monkey off his back.

Houston, however, has been trading away draft picks like a drunk sailor (as they have no GM to rein in Buttchinski’s dumber impulses).  A reckoning is coming, and one wonders how they will field a competitive side around TheShaun (who was quite good in defeat).

Championship Sunday will deliver us a rematch of the “Mariota TD pass to Mariota” playoff classic, which I believe included the classic “Erotic Smashmouth” photo in the game thread.  What a contrast of styles – the League’s most explosive passing offense against the League’s most physical team.  Fuck, I can’t wait.

NOTE to the Ginger(balls) Hammer – this is what we fans want.  Exciting, unpredictable, competitive, hard-fought football.  We don’t need any “super teams” – leave that shite to the NBA.  We don’t need a villain to root against.  Being able to feel at least neutral towards all participants this weekend?  Feels good, man!!

We still have Frozen Tundra night game to discuss.  In the back of everyone’s mind?  The possible third iteration of the best regular season series – Tomsulas/SeaTruthers III.  It’s almost like we forgot A.A. Ron is still a thing.  Or at least I did.

But unsurprisingly, the Packers had other ideas.  And Petey was his usual, self-destructively conservative self.  Case in point – opting for a 50-yard FG in sub-20 degree weather instead of going for it on 4th and 5.  Already behind 14-3.

After that, my attention started to wander.  That pre-Monday dread creeping in, ya know?

Bay of Green led 21-3 at the half, then 28-10.  But all credit to the Charmslinger, he made it almost interesting at the end.  But 28-23 was as close as it would get.  Dude just couldn’t get any help, surprise, surprise.

Anyway, Matt the Flower will take his charges west next week.  Green Bay has the better quartered back, Tomsulas have the better everything else.  If competent Janeane shows up, then it’s hard to see how the Packers win in Santa Clara.  But that’s why they play the games, and other miscellaneous cliches.

Next Saturday will suuuuucccccck with no FITBAW, but next Sunday is to be treasured.  See everyone then.