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Your “Jeebus It’s Friday The 13th Again?!?!?” Friday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

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See, this wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the stupid leap year thing.  Criminy.

I’ve got a lot to say.  But I’m not gonna.

Leap year can go suck my nuts.

As can Covid-19.

I’m not dead.  I have food.  And water.  I just put some plants in the ground.  I have shotgun shells.

But the world has still screwed my life up royally.  And I am not happy.  Meh fuck it.

–

Sports Which No Longer Exist 2Nite

NBA

  • Washington @ Boston – 7:30pmEDT – TV: NBATV
  • Brooklyn @ LAC – 10:30pmEDT – TV: NBATV

Full Schedule

NHL

San Jose @ St. Louis – 8:00pmEDT – TV: NHLN

Full Schedule

NCAA BB

* Yes, I typed all of that a few nights ago before the whole world got cancelled.

I’m supposed to be in Florida right now drinking beer and watching the Orioles lose horribly.  But I suppose I can take solace in the ability to say the Orioles didn’t lose today.

  • NBA – Suspended indefinitely.
  • NHL – Suspended indefinitely.
  • MLB – Spring Training go buh bye.  We’ll see what happens a day or two before opening day.
  • NCAA BB – Conference Tourneys and NCAA Tourney Cancelled.
  • Soccer – Gone.  This might be the one silver lining.  Yes you can yell at me foar that one but I had to take the shot.
  • The Masters – Yep, that’s gone too.
  • Boston Marathon? – Postponed for now.  Don’t get your hopes up.  Then again, fuck Boston.
  • WxSW and Coachella Music Festivals – Buh Bye.
  • Pearl Jam and Green Day? – Both cancel tours, among other acts.
  • Broadway Plays? – Nope.  They’re gone too.
  • St. Patrick’s Day? – Low Commander is gonna have to drink himself to death at home this year.

Yeah, forget about all that shit up there.

Am I still allowed to jerk off or what?  Because that’s about all there is left!!!!!!!

(and I’m too damned old to do it with anyone but myself)

–

OK, Here’s Some Pertty Girls

They might need food or water, so be kind.

If they ask for toilet paper, tread carefully.

Enjoy…

I WAS IN THE POOL!!!!!!!

–

Ok, say what you want tonight.  Just be respectful of one another.

Life sucks right now.  Fuck it.

–

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Unsurprised

I came to my fucking senses. There’s nothing I can do about the dipshits in D.C. or anywhere else. But there are things I can do right now and people I can reach out to and help right now, and maybe, God willing, and with some prodding because I literally have nothing else to do this weekend, maybe I can get some of the smartest, most connected people in my community together to figure out what we can do to at least not make this patch of earth suck as much as if we do nothing.

4
yeah right

The fucking heathens bought ALL of the tater tots.

All of them.

3
TheRevanchist

I had to settle for store brand steak fries. STORE BRAND! Not delicious Ore Ida. So pathetic.

2
Unsurprised

I guess the riots will have to begin a little ahead of schedule.

1
yeah right

Random thought.

Who’s gonna make out on this shit?
.
..
…
Subway!

They have their own supply chain. They have their own processing facilities, they have their own damn trucks.

Why I tell ya.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxeO0LBR6GY

1
Unsurprised

I’m done
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2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, the laws I’d break for that woman.
Great googly moogly.

1
Unsurprised

comment image

Because the mp4s look a million times better than the gifs:

* https://giant.gfycat.com/NaiveUnfinishedGreatdane.mp4

* https://giant.gfycat.com/LivelyImperfectCurlew.mp4

1
Unsurprised

comment image

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Brick Meathook

She has nice teeth.

That’s why you like this video.

Same two titties on a gal with bad teeth?

Your dick is dragging in the mud.

– American Dental Association

2
yeah right

I added some things for proportion sake. One of them is a US Quarter dollar.
comment image?resize=300%2C146&ssl=1

2
Unsurprised

What are you going to do for tomorrow?

2
yeah right

I’ve been pickling a brisket for a week.

Hand made,

Bought another at the store.

You know how you could tell this was an American store?

The only thing that was left was alcohol and corned beef.

And I did find a nice piece of gouda.

But I’ve got no potatoes.

None. Nein. Nada. Zilch.

Maybe I can complete my Irish celebration from the Hawaiian barbecue place across the street. They do a nice potato salad.

3
Unsurprised

Sunday Gravy Never Stops

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

I want a pickle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch_hoYPPeGc

2
yeah right

First thing to go was the produce and the bacon.

THEY TOOK ALL OF THE BACON!

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got 8 lbs of bacon. How much ya offering?

1
yeah right

Throw in some ghost peppers and we’re talking some serious oregano.

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Just put the peppers in the ground. It’ll be a few months.

1
yeah right

One of our folks in the building is scorpion curious.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got Ghorpions…. blend of Ghost and Scorpions.
The normal Ghosts just went in today.
The Reapers just germinated. Probably another two weeks at least before they can go in.

1
Unsurprised

How long if we plant some of the bacon?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To be fair, bacon was on sale for $1.99/lb at Vons. How could you expect anyone to pass up those kinds of savings?

0
yeah right

I’ll get into the grocery store calamity later but everyone seems to have forgotten the “take what you need and leave the rest for the others in need” credo.

This is a massive breakdown in common sense.

2
Unsurprised

This is America

1
yeah right

There it is!

0
yeah right

precisely goddamn right.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, now Grey’s Anatomy has a soulful cover of…what is this? Huh. Maybe this isn’t a cover.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, I have to ask. WTF ARE YOU WATCHING GREY’S ANATOMY?????

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not, I’m here. My wife is.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

That is both the answer I was expecting and hoping for.
(don’t tell her I said that)

1
Brick Meathook

Ya know how on American TV news they show a detailed map of the U.S., and then Canada & Mexico are just grayed out? On Canadian TV news the U.S. is just grayed out. What a bunch of assholes.

4
Unsurprised

The fact that there are team/arena owners not paying the salaries of staff getting fucked by these closures while numerous pro players have stepped up is one of the reasons why I hope this stupid fucking country burns to the ground.

5
Brick Meathook

I may be temporarily north of the border but all my stuff is down there. Please don’t burn it down.

2
yeah right

I’ll run across 25L to protect your shit Brick.

You’re my boy!

1
Brick Meathook

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1
Brick Meathook

“The triumph of the uncluttered mind”

1
Brick Meathook

#19 is Clint Longley, the greatest Dallas Cowboys quarterback ever.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, so here is the investment strategy I am working on. You are all familiar with the concept of “seven degrees of separation”, right? Well, the coronavirus won’t really become “real” to most Americans until someone they know, or someone that someone they know knows, has contracted it. So I need to figure out the number of Americans affected before it hits that 2nd level of separation, and what date that will occur, and I need to short the market for around that date.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Interesting. I’ve been trying to research to find out which Biomed is likely to get to the vaccine first and shift money to them ASAP.

No go so far, but I’ll keep looking.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A better strategy is to bet *against* all the biomeds that are working on a cure. One of them is (hopefully) going to find it, and the rest of them will have thrown a bunch of resources at it for *nothing*.

0
Brick Meathook

Invest heavily in distillers and distributors of bottled spirits.

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