NFL Notes:

• Trades!
  • The Lions traded Darius Slay to the Eagles for a third- and fifth-round pick in 2020.
    • He’s also getting a raise, with a new 3-year, $50 million contract.
    • It was pretty much over for Slay after he publicly bitched-out management & Matt Patricia when they traded Quandre Diggs to the Seahawks mid-season.
      • That he demanded a raise & a new contract sealed the trip out of town.
• Released!
  • Joe Flacco, after one season in Denver.
    • He was was set to make $20.25 million in 2020.
  • Todd Gurley, after five years with the Rams.
    • They still owe Gurley a $7.55 million roster bonus ($2.5 million back if he signs elsewhere) for this season and he becomes a dead-money hit of $20.15 million on the salary cap.
      • Plus an extra $10.5 million if he fails a physical & his base salary for 2020 becomes guaranteed.
  • Clay Matthews, after one season with the Rams.
    • The move saves L.A. $3.75 million in salary-cap space, with a dead-money hit of $2 million.

• There are “questions” about why Tom Brady’s contract isn’t finalized yet.
  • Some say he needs a physical.
  • Some say it’s the new CBA language.
  • Some allude that other players may want to join him in Tampa.
  • Whatever the reason, it’s going to happen – because the Bucs front office just increased all non-club seat ticket prices by 15% in anticipation of the new demand.

• Sean Payton says he tested positive for COVID-19.
  • That’s what you get for attending a horse race at Oaklawn Park in Arkansas on Saturday.
  • This comes on the heels of players learning their new teams may have added provisions in player contracts stating that failed physicals will result in forfeited signing bonus money.
    • Because teams are unable to oversee physicals due to the coronavirus outbreak.
    • If they fail a physical at training camp, they could be out their bonus & bound to their contract terms.

Finally, further proof that the 1970s were a better time for watching football on TV.

This Monday Night Football opening two minutes from 1978 is better than watching an entire broadcast now. https://t.co/JOZHARz0ak

— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) March 19, 2020

Today’s internet good dog is Parker, a Bernese Mountain Dog (sorry not sorry) who also has been mayor of Georgetown, CO since February 18th.

Parker, the new mayor of Georgetown, CO, is pretty accomplished. He provides therapy, has an affiliation with the Denver Broncos, and loves the slopes. He's also a dog. #politics #antibad #gooddoghttps://t.co/OEPfm5tsoH

— New Haven Pride Center (@NewHavenPride) March 19, 2020

According to the “official” press release, besides being mayor, “Parker is also the mascot for Loveland Ski Area, Camp Therapy Dog for the Rocky Mountain Village Easter Seals Camp and is featured on most Denver Broncos nationally televised games.”

And he’s got his own Twitter page!

The tie needs to go, however. It’s like Ted Cruz trying to show he’s both no longer Canadian & not the Zodiac Killer.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

• NFL: Free agency round-up – Day 2
  • 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
• Classic MLB Baseball – 10:00 PM ON ESPNCLS
  • From 1979: Pittsburgh at Baltimore in Game 7 of the World Series. The Pirates downed Baltimore 4-1 to clinch the Series
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine – 8:30 PM | NBC
  • Doug Judy is back and this time things between him and Jake are personal. Amy and Charles try to find the perfect new vending machine for the Nine-Nine.
• Top Chef – 10:00 PM | BRAVO – Season premiere

  

  • A mise-en-place challenge set at the historic Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles kicks off an intense battle between 15 of the competition’s fiercest challengers. Then, the first elimination challenge takes the Chefs to the beach to cook a seafood meal.
  • Please also consider this a reminder that “Sunday Gravy” with Yeah Right produces dishes of equal or superior quality without all the fucking drama & needless tattoos.

That’s it for me so far this week. Seamus has you tomorrow night with, probably, “The Sexiest Girls of Quarantine”. I’ll be back on the weekend with something clearly pre-recorded. Enjoy your evening.