Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Maximum Carnage!

Good morning everyone.

Hope you’re all staying safe and keeping others safe by doing your part with masks, distancing and being sanitary.

I also really hope that this whole Sunday Gravy thing gives you at least a little something to look forward to in these bizarre times. Since there sure as fuck ain’t no new shit to watch out there.

We’ve got a fun one for you today and it’s also just in time for outdoor grilling season.

The right household has indeed grilled a few times over the past month. My grill is out on my balcony and totally safe and distanced.

Our feature today was grilled over Memorial Day weekend and was actually the first of two meals that we prepared primally by fire that weekend.

This shit is awesome too.

We’re going to marinate and grill carne asada today.

Damn right we are.

You long time readers may hear a distant bell and think “Haven’t we done this shit before? You throwing some repeat shit at us again?”

Well technically we’ve done a carne asada feature – way back in June of 2015 – that did indeed feature carne asada; however that was prepared carne from a carniceria.

And while I gave you a quick rough draft idea of how to make your own at home in that post, it wasn’t structured with photos provided and then thoroughly battle tested.

This motherfucker is.

The term “carnage” when speaking of carne asada goes way back to the late 80’s when I had moved from New Jersey to San Diego. Many of the cool dudes and dudettes I hung out with were part of the San Diego surf scene and one of the foods of choice was the San Diego style carne asada burrito from one of the many San Diego taco shops.

Our own Low Commander can weigh in and attest to the greatness of this dish.

Anyway when we would get fully baked and had hammered a few brews the rally cry for a burrito run was usually something like “Dude! Carnage!”

Meaning let’s go to a taco shop and order a carne asada burrito. The “carnage” term stuck and still exists today.

If you were feeling particularly stoned and hungry you didn’t eat “carnage” you “murred” some carnage. “Murr” being the sound you make while shoveling down said burrito.

“I’m gonna murr the fuck out of some carnage dude” would be proper utilization of these terms.

We’re going to grill some killer carnage today, Dude and then murr the fuck out of it.

Carne Asada!

Score yourself some beef.

That’s some beef flap meat and yes I enjoy saying “flap meat” just as much as you will.

Standard practice for the amount is 1 person/1 pound. There were three of us eating this meal ergo that is about 3 1/4 lbs of meat right there.

I’ve seen skirt steak or flank steak used as well but if you can find it, the flap meat gives us a more authentic texture and flavor.

For the marinade:

1 medium onion sliced

1 jalapeno sliced*

1/4 cup of canola oil

1/4 soy sauce

1/2 cup of orange juice

juice of 2 fresh limes

2 tablespoons of vinegar*

1 teaspoon of cumin

4 cloves of garlic – smashed

1 teaspoon of salt

some grinds of black pepper

a bunch of cilantro – chopped

Now to address the * above I figured rather than using vinegar we could work with what we had on hand. So how about some of the pickling juice from my homemade jalapenos? You can find the recipe here.

That’s vinegar based. Also the jalapenos were about gone so I tossed what was left into the marinade along with the sliced fresh jalapeno, yes the pickled carrots went in too.

That’s the beauty of this marinade, it can be adapted as long as you stick with the concept of oil/acid/citrus/spice/herbs/salt/garlic/onion.

Shit man you can also dump a damn beer in here if you want. Own it!

The cilantro was as easy to procure as stepping out on the balcony.

We’re going to need a marinating vessel and I know just the one. You all know this one as well. Just add all the marinade ingredients to a one gallon zip top freezer bag and mix well.

Get your meat in there and let this refrigerate. It can marinate for as few as 2 hours but you really want to let this shit sit overnight.

Place that bag in a bowl for safety/spillage reasons.

The next day it’s gonna look a little something like this.

Get that bag out of the bowl and let it get to room temperature before grilling. Always an important grilling tip. Anytime you can avoid the possibility of incorrect cooking then do it.

Since it was Memorial Day weekend we got to grill twice. This was grilled on Sunday and on Monday we grilled some brined chicken and basted it with the leftover homemade BBQ sauce that TAJ made last week. We also grilled some Nathan’s cuz fucking Memorial Day weekend.

Speaking of grilling, heat up your charcoal fire and prepare for maximum grillage.

We are working, as I said, with a little over 3 pounds of meat today so go a little heavy on the coals. This is going to require about 4-5 batches of meat to be grilled. It’s also important to get some char on there.

Like that. You really want a nice balance of perfectly cooked meat along with a little char. When we serve this it’s pretty key to the overall flavor.

We’re also going to need a side dish today so you know where this shit is heading.

Fuck it, let’s make our beans again.

Yes, dammit again. Remember I still had close to 3 pounds of dried pinto beans from my drunken Amazon order from weekend 1 of the lock down.

I said this was going to be a different season of Sunday Gravy and I’m trying to give you some basic staple recipes to cook for you and those you are on shut-down with.

Provided of course you can even find dried pinto beans.

Yeah yeah, sort and rinse the beans.

We get it, we get it, add the onion, garlic, chile de arbol pods, cumin, chili powder and cover with water. You want enough water to cover the beans by an inch or 2.

Bring to boil, reduce to a low simmer, place a lid slightly ajar on top and cook for about 2 to 2 1/2 hours total.

This is where I tell you about the bacon again. After two hours of the beans simmering…

Yep, cut up some bacon and give it a cook.

Bacon grease goes in the beans, eat the bacon bits yadda yadda.

This was a truly spectacular batch o’beans by the way. Even though I cook the pinto beans the same way each time, every batch can be a little different. The key is getting the texture right which means an appropriate amount of water used during the cooking process. Also the salt and spice amount can attribute to the outcome as well.

When the beans are fully cooked, blend up about 1/3 of them. Immersion blender is easiest.

I finished the beans first, let them rest then did the whole “grill the meat” thing. When the meat was fully cooked I reheated the beans and they were served hot together.

The right household likes the concept of cutting all of the steaks into bite sized bits, that way you can heat all of the chopped up meat at the last second and regardless of when the meat slab was cooked everything will be hot.

Plus it’s a little tricky biting into a burrito that has a full fucking steak in it. That shit is going to be messy.

Let’s build our plate dammit, I’m hungry.

Once again this shit is all on you to make as you see fit. That’s just my version up there.

Of course it features the all-too-familiar…

Yep, My chile tepin.

As mentioned before the very goddamn existence of this chile is owed to the San Diego style carne asada burrito. At the risk of being repetitious I could not find a chile/hot sauce at ANY Mexican restaurant in LA that was even close to the kind you find in San Diego.

I took on a task, no a QUEST to create my own that would be comparable.

Did I succeed? You ask with baited breath…

Motherfucker I blew that shit AWAY! This stuff is fucking legendary. I’ve also had a container in my refrigerator every fucking day for about 18 years now.

/takes deep breath

If you were to visit a taco shop in San Diego and simply ask for a carne asada burrito it would come with meat, pico and some guac. Cheese upon request. Hot sauce on the side with a choice of red or green sauce. There’s also usually a salsa/condiment bar with pickled hot carrots and jalapenos. Yep just like mine up there. You may even spot some pickled onion depending on the restaurant.

My preparation is simple, carnage, chile tepin and maybe a little extra sharp cheddar both on the beans and in the burrito. Go ahead and call me a heretic for the cheese but I’m fresh out of fucks to give on that.

Most folks like a little pico de gallo and brother TAJ did indeed make a batch for this today. Carnage is also great with a little chopped onion or even pickled red onion. Customize this shit! Add cilantro if you like, Hell you can even use some guac.

I can eat guac but it’s not really my thing.

Make this dish yours.

One thing for certain, you’re going to need a shitload of cerveza.

And now YOU are the carnage fucking master!

This baby is damn simple, stupid delicious and vesatile as a motherfucker.

Try it and let me know how it turns out.

Now that the weather is warming up you can venture out to your yard/balcony, legal open space for the purposes of grilling. Just keep your masks on as needed and keep your proper social distancing. Grilling will give you some comfort, familiarity, satisfaction and a damn tasty meal to enjoy during this world-wide insanity.

This will make the whole shut down thing a lot easier to handle.

It’s the little things that are going to keep whatever the hell is left of our sanity intact.

Be well good folks. Be safe.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this.

I can wash the FUCK out of my hands.

See you next week.

PEACE!