Your “Not All Rabbit Holes Are Gold” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • The big news is Dr. Fauci saying whether an NFL season — or college football season — takes place this fall is “impossible to call” at this juncture.
    • He clarified his remarks about teams maintaining a “bubble”, where he said,
      • “I was asked by officials from the NFL about risks associated with various scenarios that the NFL might face in consideration of the upcoming season. I provided advice from a public health standpoint. The ultimate decision is not mine but that of the officials of the NFL and the players themselves.”
    • “I merely provide advice based on data and science. I certainly do not make the call on whether a league can or cannot return.”
  • In that attendance vein, the NFL announced that it will allow teams to sell camera-visible signage to local sponsors.
    • The first six to eight rows in every stadium, including on-field suites, are off limits to fans this season in order to protect players, coaches and team staff from COVID-19 exposure.
      • That will allow ad revenue to be generated from the covered seats, akin to what the Premier League did when it returned.
  • The Ravens & Seahawks are the leading contenders to land Antonio Brown.
    • Both teams are mentioned because of their connections to Brown.
      • The Ravens employ his cousin Marquise Brown.
      • Brown has been working out with Seahawks backup QB Geno Smith.
    • If/when Brown comes back, he faces league discipline for his no-contest pleas to burglary & battery charges for an incident last year.
  • The [Redacteds] have taken a step towards dealing with their overall racism by removing George Preston Marshall’s name from their Ring of Honor. 
    • Marshall’s Washington team was famously the last to integrate.
      • Marshall once said he would sign African American players when the Harlem Globetrotters signed white players.
    • He refused to do so because he felt he would lose a large proportion of his southern fanbase.
      • The [Redacteds] were the southernmost franchise in the league at the time, and Marshall had their marching band play “Dixie” on the field for 23 years.
    • Their 1962 integration happened only because Interior Secretary Stewart Udall told Marshall he would otherwise revoke the newly signed 30-year lease to D.C. Stadium, which sat on federal land.
      • The first black player to play for them – Bobby Mitchell – will have his number 49 retired this season.
    • Dan Snyder formally stated in 2013 he would never change the name, and is sticking by that stance.
      • Despite obvious calls to change it in light of recent PR.
    • Marshall’s statue was removed from outside old RFK Stadium last week, after it was vandalized.


Big Daddy Drew took a run at Bill Simmons today.

  • I think we can all agree Simmons is an asshat, but what BDD outlines is the soft liberal racism that infects a certain species of NE Liberal.
    • Unlike the overt racism that infects Patriot fans & Barstool readers.

  • It’s also a Greatest Hits about why Simmons is overrated, and has become so rich he doesn’t feel he needs to change.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Wrasslin’:
    • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
      • We already know there’s no Jimmy Havoc or Sammy Guevara, thanks to #SpeakingOut
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA
      • This will show if WWE got the #SpeakingOut message, because Velveteen Dream has played a prominent role up to now. His appearance or non-appearance will speak volumes.
  • Time for Change: We Won’t be Defeated – 8:00 PM | ESPN
    • A roundtable discussion examining black athletes’ experiences with injustice, and how sports can unify a divided nation. ESPN’s Elle Duncan, Michael Eaves, Jay Harris and Maria Taylor host.
  • Giants of Africa – 9:00 PM | ESPN
    • A behind-the-scenes look at a basketball youth program set up in Africa by Raptors GM Masai Ujiri, showcasing basketball as a tool to create lasting change and to empower others to dream big. The program is examined in Nigeria, Ghana, Kenya, and Rwanda.

The Hockey Hall of Fame announced on Wednesday afternoon that Jarome Iginla, Marian Hossa, Kevin Lowe and Doug Wilson were elected in the men’s player category. They will be joined in the Class of 2020 by Canadian female star goaltender Kim St. Pierre and three-time Stanley Cup winning GM Ken Holland in the builder category.

Jeremy Roenick – shut out! No Hall; no NBC…

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit, if Drew wrote it then I have to give in and read an article about Simmons

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, SoS, what he heck was the deal with the slot machine in the garage with that Vegas couple?

Brick Meathook

There was a sale on bone-in ribeyes down at the Ralphs! (limit two packages per customer, por favor)

Time to break out the vacuum sealer!

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Mr. Ayo

Every time I see “bone in” I think back to my life at 16. My girlfriend was frigid and purse. Fortunately, her mother was neither.

Fortunately, the girlfriend loosened up after learning from her mother what was possible.

Mr. Ayo

Anyway, those are some nice cuts of meat you have there Brick.

Brick Meathook

$6.99/lb. That’s a very good price.

I love my vacuum sealer. A sealed steak will keep for two years frozen and for weeks refrigerated and I can’t tell the difference from freshly purchased. You can find a good sale (usually Costco) where you have to buy a bunch and you can save them. Highly recommended appliance.

Mr. Ayo

I can’t imagine a scenario where I would need, much less in such a scenario be able to, freeze a piece of meat of 2 years. I have never stocked more than one (1) week of provisions in my habitat. We live in a vibrant society, despite all its faults.

Brick Meathook

I always had an earthquake survival kit (with canned goods), but this pandemic and so forth has really upped my game. The Mormons would admire me at this point. Wait til you see my completely revamped dry foodstuffs kitchen cupboard.

Brick Meathook

Plus, a vacuum-sealed steak has convenience. Buy them (at a good sale price), seal them, and either freeze them or refrigerate them. If it’s still in the store packaging you have to cook it within five days max. Refrigerated sealed steaks can wait weeks until you are ready, and they’re perfect. If they’re frozen, just stick them in the refrigerator and they’re thawed in three days and you can still wait weeks to cook them, and they’re still perfect. Get a fucking vacuum sealer.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, I have one and know how they work sidekick.

Brick Meathook

“I have never stocked more than one (1) week of provisions in my habitat.”

What do you do with your vacuum sealer? Look at it?

Mr. Ayo

Look, scotchnaut and I may be sidekicks as well.

The point is vacuum sealers aren’t just for provisions.

Brick Meathook

I see . . .

Is it like pillows and quilts or something? Because there’s nothing wrong with that, nothing at all.

ballsofsteelandfury

You two make a great team on HRTN and in real life.

Brick Meathook

Ayo is my sidekick.

Mr. Ayo

Look, banana weed has its benefits. But there are many pitfalls as well. None of which I am ready to speak to even now.

Gumbygirl

I like mine medium rare, leaning more rare than medium. And yes, I will have both butter and sour cream on my baked potato, thanks for asking. And chives too.

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We had ribeyes tonight! And also tomatoes with homemade ricotta and basil.

Gumbygirl

I made sheet pan shrimp scampi, over rice. It came out pretty good, with minimal effort. Some nights I just don’t feel like cooking.

SonOfSpam

“I have also vacuum Seal”

– H. Klum

Brocky

Fuck yeah vaccum sealers!

I may or may not have sold those at one point

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

IMPORTANT LIFE TIP: never get involved in a “conversation” with your spouse that was inspired by 90 Day Fiancé.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Going to roll into part 2 with a poor man’s old fashioned: Jack Daniels, a dash of maraschino liquer, a squeezed orange wedge.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought a poor man’s old fashioned was a handjob from a hobo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, good, now Chantel’s mom is talking about the theory of gravity, and how it shows that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

SonOfSpam

Just felt a minor temblor, prolly Newton rolling over.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pedro is catching a world of shit for what was basically a lapdance.

Brick Meathook

This is your brain on drugs:
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SonOfSpam

Sign says “PURE DRUGS CUT RATE” and this is a surprise?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

“Hang in there, folks. Need to get my heroin prescription refilled.”

Mr. Ayo

Weird. Mine usually sees or at least visualizes more colors,

Redshirt

The Dirt Sheets are saying that 3-24 people from WWE have tested positive for COVID-19. This is going to be one hell of an episode of Dark Side of the Ring.

WCS

Please be Vince McMahon, please be Vince McMahon, please be Vince McMahon, please be Vince McMahon…

Redshirt

No word yet, but Ric Flair was on Raw last week. (WOOs nervously)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It kind of feels like they’re ganging up 5 to 1 against poor Colt but if you do it by body mass it’s pretty much evenly matched.

SonOfSpam

It’s pronounced Col-tay and I only WISH I had his man tits.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish I had his mom. She reminds me so much of Owen’s mother in Throw Momma from the Train.
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SonOfSpam

Without the warmth, but yes.

Senor Weaselo

Well, Senorita Weaselo finished The Last of Us Part II.

SonOfSpam

“My lady friend finished the last of us. You’re welcome.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

No, that’s Houston.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Lorissa cannot be with us due to her upcoming court date…”

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, that’s where I sprout a hemi-semi.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, these guys are good. They managed to make a guy being a little lost backstage seeming dramatic.

SonOfSpam

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WCS

ROCK AND ROLL!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“He’s really young, and I’m really dumb.”

I never thought I’d be expressing my increasing admiration for the self-awareness of a woman from Mechanicsburg, PA, but here we are.

SonOfSpam

Which whore be that?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The very blonde one who married a kid from Jamaica. She has lupus.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I really liked her decisiveness about getting rid of him. It’s a shame she had medical issues.

SonOfSpam

I feel like you’re way behind because I only barely remember that and this whole sentence is making me really sad

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to +1 this nine times.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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SonOfSpam

Man, when David Crosby thinks you went too far…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This one girl is wearing black pants, a black tank top, and a black baseball cap. She looks like she’s about to go on a SWAT raid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re celebrating trash collection day eve by watching 90 Day Fiancé.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

(sigh) ok lemme know if you want to discuss I’ve seen most of them god how pathetic

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought I’d maybe live-blog it to some degree. We’re watching S4 of Happily Ever After. It’s the final reunion show.

SonOfSpam

It’s so terrible so so terrible

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m dying. Definitely Dr. Mrs. Deadly worthy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I really hope that’s his mom.

SonOfSpam

Hey,if not, she’s paying for his trip, so

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I really hope it’s on Pornhub damn soon.

SonOfSpam

And all the world is biscuit-shaped. It’s just for me to fill my face.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Mr. Ayo

Look, I can spare 5 minutes for interesting things.

But half an hour is a bridge too far. Please edit and condense.

Thanks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

That’s what the scrub bar is for. Did you spot the dog?

SonOfSpam

(“did you spot the dog?” is Navy guy for “did you beat off your bunkmate”)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s even worse when there is an actual dog.

Brick Meathook

Antenna replacement is serious business. I’m glad you two can find such merriment in it.

Mr. Ayo

A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.

And no! I don’t have 30 minutes to watch this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh, we’ve met.” – Andy R., Kansas City, MO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Perfect for Shark Week!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Another little known/unknown Beach Boys gem, once again courtesy of Dead Tom Petty’s Buried Treasure radio show reminding me of it’s existence. Beautiful song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyOYQ8qfFng

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

A [Retracted] got through in the write up

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Fixed. Thanks for catching it!

Gratliff

An underrated aspect of twitter is all the hobbyists obsessed with letting you know about things that exist
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SonOfSpam

Dungeons and Dragqueens?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Wait, aren’t those the battle tops?

Viva La Tabula Raza

You can tell that’s a bit dated, no web or email address. Kinda similar to phone numbers in the early 1960s like MUrray Hill 5-9975, or pre-zipcode postal zones (i.e. Indianapolis 24, Indiana)

Gratliff

Also the fact that the printed screenshots are in b&w, and the fact that it says it requires 3.1, which came out in ’92.

Senor Weaselo

The Harlem Globetrotters do have white players now. There’s apparently one from the Ukraine and one from Poland. And one from China.

SonOfSpam

The one from Poland tries hard.

Gratliff

Historically, not a great idea to have a Ukrainian and a Pole occupying the same area

SonOfSpam

(Germany and Russia have entered the chat)

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s beyond The Pale.
—Extinct Shtetls

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Harlem Globetrotters do have white players now… And one from China.

Um…

Senor Weaselo

There should be an “also” or a paragraph break.
“They also have a player from China now.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We can yellow highlight that for later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Further down the Python/Palin rabbit hole tonight. I am quite the Italian history buff (I worked the environmental restoration program at Aviano AB for a number of years), and stuff like this just blows my hair back. Palin as presenter is just a fucking bonus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ILGks-jt84

SonOfSpam

Sucks that he has to share that name with Sarah.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

He had it first, at least.
My podiatrist is named Cheney.

Mr. Ayo

Sarah Cheney, Michael Cheney, or Cheney Palin?

I suppose Cheney Cheney is still an option as well.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dennis, which is why I didn’t have a problem using him (he also came highly recommended).

Mr. Ayo

Shouldn’t Cheney Dennis be a dentist?

rockingdog

Found a funny:

british cooking shows: tell us about this wee tart youve made, the crust is just lovely

american cooking shows: we’ve replaced your knives with philips head screwdrivers & released raccoons in the kitchen. the clock is set for 30 seconds, please bake us peace in the middle east

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Japanese cooking shows….

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“Peace in the Middle East? I’ll have it for ya by noon, daddio!”
Also, I bet Ivanka’s carpet don’t match the drapes. Check them brows and the racing stripe at the hair part.comment image

ArmedandHammered

So the remake is actually “The Stepford Husbands”?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You know that scene in Irreversible where the protagonist bashes the guy’s face into slush using a fire extinguisher?

Huh? Oh, nothing in particular. It just popped into my head for some reason.

SonOfSpam

I dig.

Also, let’s talk about Ms Bellucci. Actually, I’m finished. Night.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can’t separate the extended rape scene….. .

SonOfSpam

Feel the same way about Brokeback.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can if you hear the vehicle backup alert beep in the background.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Make sure you get the right guy. Some of these douchebags look alike.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Your comment brings to mind Yaphet Kotto bashing Ian Holm’s head off with a gas cylinder in Alien, also.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THAT BETTER NOT BE BEER THAT SHE’S SPILLING.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Spanking?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not at the moment, but maybe later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The hairbrush is ready.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

(He’s just showing his readiness for a new liver)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FIRST TIME ANAL?

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Viva La Tabula Raza

That guy looks like if Tom Selleck had a baby with Lee Van Cleef that was conceived under the watchful gaze of a portrait of George Clooney.

Redshirt

Watching “Law Abiding Citizen” in 2020 is slightly different. Now I’m openly rooting for the guy trying to destroy the corrupt justice system.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!
WE’RE #1!

Mr. Ayo

U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

CYTOKINE STORMS FOR THE CYTOKINE STORM GOD!

VENTILATORS FOR THE VENTILATOR THRONE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

It was as inevitable as the Allied victory over Italy in WWII once Italy declared war on the US on December 11, 1941. Only differences were: that time it took almost 2 years, and their Mussolini was not orange.

Redshirt

Masks for some, miniature American flags for others!

Senor Weaselo

Is everybody sick of all the winning yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Literally…..

Redshirt

/ found a funny

2020: the Wonka Tunnel Scene that lasts the whole year

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I can still get a mug full of chocolate though, right?” – Andy Reid

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s the most lethargic mechanical bull I’ve ever seen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It already blew its load.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Saw this out of the side of my vision while I was surfing the youtube. One of the funniest movie scenes ever filmed. The first 2:45 are a great set up, but the last 1:20 must have been the most difficult scenes ever to film, especially for the poor bastards playing the Roman guards.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx_G2a2hL6U

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking classic dumb dick joke done to perfection. Apparently it took fifty cagillion takes because of laughter.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking Palin was like an icicle. Just fooking brilliant. Though I am sure there were plenty of retakes on his part, too, as you postulate.

ArmedandHammered

I have one of the versions which has outtakes and deleted scenes including the entire kidnapping of Pilate’s wife. Also the suicide squad had a much larger role in the film.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, I think all that stuff was included as extras on one of the DVD releases.

ArmedandHammered

I have been playing Banished for awhile now, and the other day had me laughing for a long time. The game tells you which worker dies and which one takes their place, so the in game message was “Stonemason Stan was killed by a falling rock. Stonemason Loretta has taken their place.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Too bad they didn’t have either of them getting the spaceship ride.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sounds like a very realistic game.

ArmedandHammered

I also have a CD game from Python that has lots of games, scenes from Holy Grail, etc. But the best part was the Bring Out Your Dead version of Tetris, where the falling pieces were corpses being dropped. Randomly you would get one that would say “I’m not dead yet!” and it would move on it’s own while you tried to place it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know shit about computer games, last one I played was Secret Weapons of the Luftwaffe 30 years ago, but that shit sounds funny as hell.

ArmedandHammered

I remember that one, it was a lot of fun. I seem to remember that one and Chuck Yeager’s Test Pilot, which allowed you to fly the same planes he had. Plus the best golf game ever – Links. I had all the courses, I do wish they would remaster some of those old games.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My dad was assigned to the Air Force Inspector General at the AF Safety Center at Norton AFB CA in the mid-70s. BGen Chuck Yeager was the commanding officer of the Safety Center at the time, his last assignment before he retired. I got to meet him once at some function or other there to which dependents were invited (hell, it might have been his retirement ceremony). Looking back, probably the most famous person I’ve ever talked to and had respond to me. I was over the moon when The Right Stuff came out a few years later and I was all like “Hey, I know that guy!” Although even in 1974-5 I knew he was the guy that broke the sound barrier (being an Air Force brat and all).

SonOfSpam

Chuck Yeager is a badass hero.

Dunstan

Back in the earlier versions of Civilization, when you got to name the leader, whenever I took the Romans I was always Biggus Dickus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

The lisp is a+ accessory

Viva La Tabula Raza

Palin’s character talks like Elmer Fudd. When Biggus Dickus (Graham Chapman) made his appearance, he speaks like Sylvester the Pussy Cat (starts at about 2:10).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlADJpNtS_s

Brick Meathook

I have never understood the obsession with Bill Simmons, here and at KSK.

herodotus450

He had some pretty funny comments, I thought. Too bad he died on the way back to his home planet.

scotchnaut

This site is banancakes about Bill Simmons? huh.

Dunstan

I don’t remember him being discussed here in any detail since his split from ESPN, which was years ago now.

Hell, we still make Rex Grossman jokes here, and dude hasn’t thrown an NFL pass in nine years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought this was an interesting take on the idea of not wearing COVID masks as a loyalty test: https://old.reddit.com/r/TalesFromYourServer/comments/heggil/a_woman_called_me_a_snowflake_for_wearing_a_mask/fvspfvb/

scotchnaut

Just so that you’re aware, in Canada, people that don’t wear facemasks aren’t labeled as ‘pussies’-they’re labeled as ‘every goalie before Jacques Plante’.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Just put on you submission muzzle and go back to your sheeple store.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice song for working from home. Weird 40 second intro; no live performance videos available, unfortunately.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwD_SulAWP8

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“In the 1980s men will be wearing skirts”, Joe Kagan 1966.

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