I want to share with you two of the best stories I read this week, both of which appeal to my vile nature.

The first is from Scotland. A father named Pete Robson, starting in 1992, set himself the task of buying his son a bottle of 18 year-old Macallan every year for Matthew’s birthday. All told, he spent about £5000 over those 28 years, with the bottle price appreciating from £21 to £300 in that time.

Robson’s father explained, “I thought it would be interesting if I bought one every year and he’d end up with 18 bottles of 18-year-old whiskey for his 18th birthday.” Well, as a gift it’s pretty solid, but as a collection it’s appreciated in value. To the point where the son had the collection appraised & it is now worth £40,000.

So he did what most of us couldn’t – he sold it & used the money as a down-payment on a house. But he did what his father made him promise all those years ago – he never opened a bottle.

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The second story comes from Oxford, MS, where Ole Miss had a contest to put health care workers on their stadium cups, as a thank you for their service during the COVID crisis, and invited people to send in pictures of their medical professionals.

Well, some delightful smart ass sent in a picture of porn star Johnny Sins, “in character” from a Brazzers shoot.

https://twitter.com/kingjustin1996/status/1304122531968946177

I assume it’s leading towards some form of pelvic exam.

I don’t recognize the actresses, so it must be a fairly recent scene. In any event, all the stadium concessions IT interns saw was a guy dressed as a doctor, so they added him to their bank of heroes on the cup.

As always, the next move is Alabama’s.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Dallas vs. Vegas – 8:00 PM | NBC / CBC / Sportsnet
    • Game 4 – Stars up 2-1

• NBA:
  • Rockets vs. Lakers – 8:00 PM | TNT / TSN4
    • Game 5 – Lakers up 3-1

On a personal note: thank fucking Christ the Raptors have been eliminated.

I don’t know if I can adequately express to American readers how awful Canadian sports media is – and I’ve tried before – when there is a Toronto team succeeding. It is an all-out knob-slobbering that makes the very bottom tier at Pornhub look classy.

Now it’s just the Blue Jays and WHO WILL THE LEAFS SIGN?!?!?!?! until November.

• NCAA: – NOTE: La Tech vs. Baylor is postponed due to the ‘rona
  • Clemson at Wake Forest – 7:30 PM | ABC
  • Tulane at South Alabama – 7:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
  • Coastal Carolina at Kansas – 10:00PM | FS1

• MLB:
  • Detroit Tigers at Chicago White Sox – 7:00 PM | FS1
  • Cheatstros at Dodgers OR Cleveland at Minnesota – 8:00 PM | FOX

• Fútbol:
  • Liga MX:
    • Tigres UANL vs. Santos Laguna – 7:55 PM | UNI

• Left turns:
  • NASCAR:
    • The Federated Auto Parts 400 – 7:30 PM | NBCSN / TSN

• Face punching:
  • UFC Fight Night: Waterson vs Hill
    • Prelims – 6:00 PM | TSN5 / ESPN+
    • Main card – 8:00 PM | TSN5 / ESPN+

• Southern hemisphere tackle sports:
  • Australian Rules Football:
    • Hawthorne vs. Western – 1:30 AM | TSN3

Get a good night’s sleep, otherwise you’ll get a tummy ache from all the football-adjacent foods you’ll be consuming.