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2020 Quotables – Week 4 (Submissions)

blaxabbath

/

,

I had face cancer surgery yesterday so you’re not going to get my shot of prideful wittiness today. Just your Week 4 Quotables submissions and the reminder that, just because I seem to be making through this minor case with full-on health insurance and competent medical experts, you can’t worry about cancer, people. In fact, it’s offensive that the NFL even supports the Crucial Catch campaign, considering my face wouldn’t look straight out of a slasher flick if I’d never noticed the spot in the first place.

Also, I got to watch part of the Chiefs game last night and I’d forgotten how good of an announcer Romo is. Guy is an absolute gem. Alright — that’s all I got. Enjoy your shorts from NFL broadcasts.

Pfff. You know who really should think about hitting Atkins? Meghan McCain.
This is how players interact with fans during quarantine.
THIS GUY GOLDEN TATE I CALL HIM HARAMBE BECAUSE THAT SHOT MADE HIM ONE DEAD CAT!
In case you forgot about Green Bay’s quarterback….
“Threatening!” – Mark McCloskey
Presented without comment.
“Chargers players celebrate with a Forth Night dance…” – Local Sports Reporter
Former Raiders Head Coach, Hue Jackson, has some choice words for one Rikki Tikki Deadly.

 

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Don T

But I wanted prideful wittiness!
JK. Respect the sun, Freddie
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1
WhyEaglesWhy

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I mean, everyone cheats a little, but the Patriots’ spying schemes are getting more Scooby-Doo-esque all the time.

4
WhyEaglesWhy

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“Flinching, official number 57. That’s a five-punch penalty. It will be assessed back at the hotel bar.”

1
WhyEaglesWhy

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“This just in from the stat geeks back in New York…I’m not up on all this analytics stuff Jim, but apparently after this play, the Chargers’ IR list is in first place in the NFC East.”

Last edited 5 years ago by WhyEaglesWhy
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WhyEaglesWhy

I’m not even gonna try with the Texans one, SonOfSpam’s is perfect. I haven’t seen a murdering like that since Anna Nicole Smith got rich.

3
WhyEaglesWhy

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This is the most lopsided game of Othello I’ve ever seen.

2
Redshirt

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♫♪♪ “They don’t got the touch! They don’t got the power! NO!” ♫♪♪

Last edited 5 years ago by Redshirt
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Redshirt

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“Now you know how your family feels, you son of a bitch!”

0
Redshirt

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They had to resort to sitcom hijinks but Colin Kaepernick is finally back with the San Francisco 49ers.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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If that ref had stayed six feet away, then he wouldn’t have had to worry about errant balls in his face…at least now that Santonio Holmes retired

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“…….”

-Sasha Grey

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I’ve seen enough. Don’t let fans back in the stands. Ever.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do they have the “Girth” seats like they do in Indy?-

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Usually you have to be on a casting couch to take a shot like that in LA

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Two casting couch references in one thread! Best ever.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aw, shit

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, no, it was different enough, both are great.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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/Chargers medical staff prepares pentobarbital injection

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Last edited 5 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Yeah, he always steals the limelight”
–Jake from State Farm

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Ok, now let’s borrow that other banner from W!

1
nomonkeyfun

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I learned it from watching you!!!

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice Moynahan family reference.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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I may not be much now, but I’m drinking milk and one day….

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Amatures
-Bill Gramatica

Last edited 5 years ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I liked the typo better, didn’t think it WAS a typo, Armateurs was genius.

0
LemonJello

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Announcer: “I haven’t seen a Minnesotan go after a guy like that since*/mic cuts off*”
Producer in van: “Due to technical difficulties, we now take you to back to the studio.”

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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one of these things is not like the other*

*man

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Glad you added the key, I was having trouble with the green and yellow part.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Number five nineteen is aliiiiiiiiiiive

3
LemonJello

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

crap, the jersey number is 49 not 19.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Close enough for the joke to work.

0
ArmedandHammered

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“Aaron, FUCK OFF” – Rodgers family video Christmas card.

2
ArmedandHammered

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Who knew that the old QB leaving would also remove the ability to Riverdance.

1
Downfield Matriculator

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Biggest Loser Frozen Tundra commences with a 321 lb weight gain for the Green Team.

4
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The camera adds ten poun……. never mind.

0
ArmedandHammered

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Somebody completely misunderstood the #MeToo movement.

7
LemonJello

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“A Posse of Thugs is the correct terminology for a group of Black Panthers, right?”

5
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

3/5 posse = 1 gang

1
LemonJello

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Bigger abortion: the play on the field or the logo on the field?

1
blaxabbath

Yeah man — that logo is dog shit.

0
blaxabbath

Wait — Will Amy Coney Barrett outlaw the Rams logo then?

Considering it helps black men indirectly produce an income, I’d say with 100% certainty – yes.

7
LemonJello

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“Hey, Romeo old pal, you got any Defensive Coordinator jobs available?”

1
LemonJello

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Femur drums are abruptly silenced as the Elder God sees the heretics are not, in fact, injured.

Last edited 5 years ago by LemonJello
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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This is a viable alternative to burning jerseys.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No love for the idea of setting someone on fire? What has the internet come too?

0
LemonJello

I thought the “Into the Sun” sign was just cropped out of the photo.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, ‘Die in a fire’ or the like does not seem to be used as much. Has Bill O’rien eaten a bag of dicks yet?

0
LemonJello

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“How do we get this into the cheerleaders’ locker room?”

4
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-Washington Football team has already worked out a lot of logistics for this.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“No, no, Jordan, you gotta be all the way in the air for it to count.” – Sage Rosenfels

1
nomonkeyfun

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The Big Blue Wrecked crew.

0
nomonkeyfun

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Always great when a team gets it’s hottest fans together for a photo shoot.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

On the Jumbotron?

0
LemonJello

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“My name’s Rod Longbone and you’re watching Green Bay Casting Couch!”

Last edited 5 years ago by LemonJello
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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1
nomonkeyfun

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A.A. Ron reenacting his family reunion.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is what I was looking for.

0
SonOfSpam

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Last time a Texan got that kinda helmet from a Smith, Anna Nicole was trying to get a will rewritten.

7
SonOfSpam

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Against anorexia.

4
SonOfSpam

Just a harmless lil skin thing I hope? Need you to stick around here. Stay out of that Nevada sun.

Also, I’m a sucker for any and all Meghan McCain jokes. Nicely done!

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That one might be the winner, Beat Hard.

1
nomonkeyfun

First time I thought about beating hard and Meghan McCain at the same time.

3
LemonJello

*flexing wrist*
“I wish.”
-MM’s personal chef, after making another dozen egg omelet for breakfast

2
blaxabbath

-MM’s personal chef, after making another dozen Cadbury crème egg omelet for breakfast

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I mixed the metawhores…. metaphors, whatever.

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