Let’s get to it.
TO THE GAMES!
Panthers/Falcons:
Does Atlanta finally get their first W? Carolina is coming off two straight wins and the Falcons have given up 30 or more points every single week to date. Still, Julio might be back and that makes a huge difference to a Panthers D that is slowly, very slowly improving. Not helping matters? Atlanta has played 11 different guys in the secondary after only 4 weeks. It’s pure carnage back there.
Raiders/Chiefs:
Wakey, wakey left coasters! Cb Breeland is back for the Chiefs after a scheduled holiday as a result of taking ‘substances’. Last week Mahomes had his 2nd-worst graded game of his career and still the Pats were easily handled. That’s what a Hoyer-Stidham combo will do for you. His talent aside, Patty benefits from his receivers getting open ‘big’-like an average of 3 yards big.
Cards/Jets:
Le’Veon has been taken off IR but that’s sorta like you rearranging the kitchen appliances that your redneck cousin threw out onto his front lawn. Darnold looks like Josh Allen did last year-even when he gets a clean pocket his throws sail overhead or eat dirt. Needless to say, his ability to throw into tight windows is wanting as well.
Eagles/Steelers:
Many thought that with all kinds of time to get healthy The Ben would regain some former semblance of his younger self. (I thought he’d be a sneaky-good player to draft at the bottom end of drafts-dodged that bullet) His rate of uncatchable passes is 5th worst in the league, according to PFF.
Rams/Team:
Team’s D will likely be turned this way and that by a Rams squadoo that employs play-action on almost 50% of their passes. That’s a usage rate that hasn’t been seen before and Goff and Co. has obviously taken full advantage.
Bengals/Ravens:
Burrow continues to amaze under some dire circumstances-his passing grade of 79.4 ties him for 7th in the league with Mahomes. This despite the fact that he’s been hit/sacked 34 times, most in the league. Today the beatings will continue as the Ravens employ the blitz on 46% of plays.
Jags/Texans:
Who knew the Jags O-line was this good? Despite being saddled with an UDFA in James Robinson, they have maintained the ability to create running lanes. Robinson’s 4.8 ypc to date actually seems sustainable.
Have at it below.
“This Arrowhead crowd makes it tough for kickers.”
“Nailed it!”
— Lin Eliot
“Post Covid, I’ve heard that the decibel level reaches as high as ‘6’.”
If I were good at photoshop, I’d do a shot of Howie Long terrorizing quarterbacks in a pair of Sketchers with Arch Support.
“Found a quarterback.”
-rockingdog, Rams fan
Feel so dirty cheering for the Steelers
Can’t wait for the full story on how JJ Watt led the munity against Bill O’Brien
Can’t be Watt’s fault. He wasn’t injured for almost half the games…
Love watching the Bengals drain the clock down by 27
“I took the under.”
— Mike B., Cincinnati OH
Strange fucking game. Really a GREAT performance by Bungles’ D, and they’s down 4 scores.
So the Eagles held tryouts last week for new receivers?
You can stand there and slag me off all you like, but don’t you start talking about how I feel about my beloved Fulgham, because I love ‘im
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA9SI6rEW0A
WOOT WOOT
Patrick Queen Stock is RISING!
Congratulations Bengals you crossed midfield, never mind.
All Pro WR Travis Fulgham
Dude’s on fire.
The ghost of Tom Petty weighs in…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtLpZWNyM0I&ab_channel=TomPett
Oh, chyron says Flacco is bringing his MILE HIGH ELITENESS to the Jets now?
Darnold have to leave early for a Trump Truck Parade?
Darnold is a more of a boat parade guy.
.
Mediocre if true
They did it! The Bengals got a 1st Down!
That’s my fault. I caused that.
Fucking unreal. That DB did that on purpose. How on Earth do you wrap a guy up and perfectly punch the ball like that from behind?!?
Of course Hippo’s Shenault comes up with 71 yards. smgdh…
If 1 Darius Slay counted as Two feet, this game would have been over right now
As inept as the Football Team’s offense has been, RAMMIT could just take a knee 3 times/punt for the rest of the game and I don’t think it’ll change how this game ends.
Don’t use the phrase take a knee with Alex smith still in his kids are watching
For the four people who started both Claypool and Fulgham right now:
/checks channel guide
Next game is Cowpersons v Jints?
/reaches for bourbon
– Steve Keim, exiting AA
Travis Fulgham vs Chase Claypool is exactly what everyone was expecting
Can we keep futbol out of our NFL open thread?
I was told to never talk about Rookie Fight Club.
I’m not sure which former QB is currently laughing louder watching this game, Andy Dalton or David Klingler.
Klinger has a dark sense of humor so….
After this game, Burrow may start wearing women’s clothing, so he can get a Section 8 and go home to Athens.
Just throw it to fulgham(?)!
Fulgrimm
Rams/Team bumper tune?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6s1tuvmdWMs&ab_channel=JuandoAguilar
I could really, really use a Matty Ice TD.
Well he completed it in the end zone.
A broken windshield is right twice a day.
Rivera and washington med staff monitoring smith closely
What Is A Catch?
I honestly don’t know if tapping your toe on your opponent’s grounded foot counts as touching the ground
That’s how it works with electricity, so why not?
The league cares not for your physics
Kind of in keeping with the whole anti-science vibe permeating a certain segment of our American society these days..
It does not, apparently
Socratic method referee
Man, AJ Green has been “doubtful to return” for a few years now.
Detroit-itis is spreading to the south; experts say it disproportionately affects star wide receivers, but generational running backs are also susceptible.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS? (and ladies, and non-gendered Cowpersons)
Alex Smith won’t have a leg to stand on if he keeps getting sacked like that.
Flacco Elite
Flacco is NOW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVikZ8Oe_XA&ab&ab
Cheesecake factory already has his table reserved
Really glad I started Burrow today
Tiny down in philadelphia the tradition continues
Holy shit an actually good play call
Its a good thing Haskins is inactive for the “Football” Team. If Smith gets hurt, Haskins liable to take the snap and run backwards toward his endzone for a safety, giving his sideline the finger as he crossed the endline.
bitch stole my seat
“A run off the left tackle and mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy.”
-A. Reid, looking at his options
Bengals Offense is wasting an amazing game by the Bengals Defense.
Wentz throws dead birds.
found a funny:
SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have
SCOOBY DOO: rabies
SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant
Smart play by Bengal 28 just to swat it out of bounds.
Congrats to all those fantasy guys in 16 or 20 team leagues that started Claypool.
Gimmee another Fellsdown. I want one more.
Joe Burrow must use the N-word or something casually because now not only is the O Line trying to get him murdered, his RB just refused to even attempt to maintain his blocking assignment.
He literally got out of the way for the blitzer.
No…no…this is the Bengals trying, God bless their hearts.
DAKOTA JEEBUS
Another injury at Fed Ex Field. Are we sure it wasn’t built on an Indian burial ground?
Hat trick!
Playing Alex Smith has gotta be some kind of insurance/pension scam by Daniel Snyder right?
Maybe Smith has a punch card for “Get 12 Leg Surgeries and the next one is free” and he just wants to use it.
Well they gave Haskins 4 whole (pre-season-less) games so I’m sure Washington will give Kyle Allen a fair–and he’s benched for Alex Smith in less than a half.
He got his bean rattled-that’s why Smith is in.
Aw, do we have to play a 2nd half?!
Didn’t reach the mercy rule threshold.