Your “Creeping Closer To Wednesday Night Football?” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s get to it.

TO THE GAMES!

Panthers/Falcons:

Does Atlanta finally get their first W? Carolina is coming off two straight wins and the Falcons have given up 30 or more points every single week to date. Still, Julio might be back and that makes a huge difference to a Panthers D that is slowly, very slowly improving. Not helping matters? Atlanta has played 11 different guys in the secondary after only 4 weeks. It’s pure carnage back there.

Raiders/Chiefs:

Wakey, wakey left coasters! Cb Breeland is back for the Chiefs after a scheduled holiday as a result of taking ‘substances’. Last week Mahomes had his 2nd-worst graded game of his career and still the Pats were easily handled. That’s what a Hoyer-Stidham combo will do for you. His talent aside, Patty benefits from his receivers getting open ‘big’-like an average of 3 yards big.

Cards/Jets:

Le’Veon has been taken off IR but that’s sorta like you rearranging the kitchen appliances that your redneck cousin threw out onto his front lawn. Darnold looks like Josh Allen did last year-even when he gets a clean pocket his throws sail overhead or eat dirt. Needless to say, his ability to throw into tight windows is wanting as well.

Eagles/Steelers:

Many thought that with all kinds of time to get healthy The Ben would regain some former semblance of his younger self. (I thought he’d be a sneaky-good player to draft at the bottom end of drafts-dodged that bullet) His rate of uncatchable passes is 5th worst in the league, according to PFF.

Rams/Team:

Team’s D will likely be turned this way and that by a Rams squadoo that employs play-action on almost 50% of their passes. That’s a usage rate that hasn’t been seen before and Goff and Co. has obviously taken full advantage.

Bengals/Ravens:

Burrow continues to amaze under some dire circumstances-his passing grade of 79.4 ties him for 7th in the league with Mahomes. This despite the fact that he’s been hit/sacked 34 times, most in the league. Today the beatings will continue as the Ravens employ the blitz on 46% of plays.

Jags/Texans:

Who knew the Jags O-line was this good? Despite being saddled with an UDFA in James Robinson, they have maintained the ability to create running lanes. Robinson’s 4.8 ypc to date actually seems sustainable.

Have at it below.

 

 

 

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blaxabbath

“This Arrowhead crowd makes it tough for kickers.”

WCS

“Nailed it!”

— Lin Eliot

blaxabbath

If I were good at photoshop, I’d do a shot of Howie Long terrorizing quarterbacks in a pair of Sketchers with Arch Support.

Spur

Feel so dirty cheering for the Steelers

Spur

Can’t wait for the full story on how JJ Watt led the munity against Bill O’Brien

blaxabbath

Can’t be Watt’s fault. He wasn’t injured for almost half the games…

Mother Puncher

Love watching the Bengals drain the clock down by 27

WCS

“I took the under.”

— Mike B., Cincinnati OH

King Hippo

Strange fucking game. Really a GREAT performance by Bungles’ D, and they’s down 4 scores.

Spur

So the Eagles held tryouts last week for new receivers?

Gratliff

You can stand there and slag me off all you like, but don’t you start talking about how I feel about my beloved Fulgham, because I love ‘im
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Spur

WOOT WOOT
Patrick Queen Stock is RISING!

clint greasewood

Congratulations Bengals you crossed midfield, never mind.

Gratliff

All Pro WR Travis Fulgham

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dude’s on fire.

blaxabbath

Oh, chyron says Flacco is bringing his MILE HIGH ELITENESS to the Jets now?

Darnold have to leave early for a Trump Truck Parade?

WCS

Darnold is a more of a boat parade guy.

blaxabbath

.

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Gatoraids

Mediocre if true

Redshirt

They did it! The Bengals got a 1st Down!

Redshirt

That’s my fault. I caused that.

JustStopDude

Fucking unreal. That DB did that on purpose. How on Earth do you wrap a guy up and perfectly punch the ball like that from behind?!?

Gratliff

If 1 Darius Slay counted as Two feet, this game would have been over right now

LemonJello

As inept as the Football Team’s offense has been, RAMMIT could just take a knee 3 times/punt for the rest of the game and I don’t think it’ll change how this game ends.

Gatoraids

Don’t use the phrase take a knee with Alex smith still in his kids are watching

WCS

For the four people who started both Claypool and Fulgham right now:
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Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
LemonJello

/checks channel guide

Next game is Cowpersons v Jints?

/reaches for bourbon

blaxabbath

– Steve Keim, exiting AA

Gratliff

Travis Fulgham vs Chase Claypool is exactly what everyone was expecting

LemonJello

Can we keep futbol out of our NFL open thread?

Redshirt

I’m not sure which former QB is currently laughing louder watching this game, Andy Dalton or David Klingler.

blaxabbath

Klinger has a dark sense of humor so….

Redshirt

After this game, Burrow may start wearing women’s clothing, so he can get a Section 8 and go home to Athens.

Gratliff

Just throw it to fulgham(?)!

Gatoraids

Fulgrimm

Mr. Ayo

Well he completed it in the end zone.

Gatoraids

Rivera and washington med staff monitoring smith closely

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WCS

What Is A Catch?

Gratliff

I honestly don’t know if tapping your toe on your opponent’s grounded foot counts as touching the ground

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s how it works with electricity, so why not?

Gratliff

The league cares not for your physics

Viva La Tabula Raza

Kind of in keeping with the whole anti-science vibe permeating a certain segment of our American society these days..

Gratliff

It does not, apparently

Gatoraids

Socratic method referee

herodotus450

Detroit-itis is spreading to the south; experts say it disproportionately affects star wide receivers, but generational running backs are also susceptible.

The Maestro

HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS? (and ladies, and non-gendered Cowpersons)

LemonJello

Alex Smith won’t have a leg to stand on if he keeps getting sacked like that.

clint greasewood

Flacco Elite

Spur
Gatoraids

Cheesecake factory already has his table reserved

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really glad I started Burrow today

Brocky

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Gatoraids

Tiny down in philadelphia the tradition continues

Gratliff

Holy shit an actually good play call

Redshirt

Its a good thing Haskins is inactive for the “Football” Team. If Smith gets hurt, Haskins liable to take the snap and run backwards toward his endzone for a safety, giving his sideline the finger as he crossed the endline.

Spur

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Brocky

bitch stole my seat

Redshirt

Bengals Offense is wasting an amazing game by the Bengals Defense.

Spur

Wentz throws dead birds.

rockingdog

found a funny:

SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have

SCOOBY DOO: rabies

SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant

JustStopDude

Smart play by Bengal 28 just to swat it out of bounds.

JustStopDude

Joe Burrow must use the N-word or something casually because now not only is the O Line trying to get him murdered, his RB just refused to even attempt to maintain his blocking assignment.

He literally got out of the way for the blitzer.

Redshirt

No…no…this is the Bengals trying, God bless their hearts.

WCS

DAKOTA JEEBUS

LemonJello

Another injury at Fed Ex Field. Are we sure it wasn’t built on an Indian burial ground?

WCS

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WCS

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Hat trick!

herodotus450

Playing Alex Smith has gotta be some kind of insurance/pension scam by Daniel Snyder right?

herodotus450

Maybe Smith has a punch card for “Get 12 Leg Surgeries and the next one is free” and he just wants to use it.

herodotus450

Well they gave Haskins 4 whole (pre-season-less) games so I’m sure Washington will give Kyle Allen a fair–and he’s benched for Alex Smith in less than a half.

Redshirt

Aw, do we have to play a 2nd half?!

LemonJello

Didn’t reach the mercy rule threshold.