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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
Hi all! I’m waiting for my Southwest flight to finish boarding and forgot I owed you all Quotables today. I think my finger may have hit a formatting button? Yeah, I do the gifs Monday and the text Tuesday’s before posting. That’s how I create my art! Alright — so below are you submissions. Hope this posts.
[…] 2020 Quotables – Week 5 (Submissions) – October 13, 2020 […]
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In his defense, he’s hearing the same sound he would hear if the stadium were full.
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“JET. FUEL. CAN’T. MELT. THIS. TEAM’S. STRENGTH.”
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“Joe, Dak Prescott has been an effective scrambler so far in his career, but I really don’t think he’ll be able to keep that up with two left feet.”
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“Let’s go to our rules analyst Mike Pereira. Mike, what are you seeing?” “Well, Jim, they ruled this an incomplete pass on the field, but I do see evidence of an open hand here, and I think they’re going to reverse this.”
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What hurt Alex Smith more? His leg, or his family’s attempt at the wave?
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“Look, scoring every nine months is fine for me and my wife, but it’s going to get you cut.”
I LOVE THIS COMPANY!! DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS
:FEMUR DRUMS INTENSIFY:
“You think that camera is wet now, just wait until I unleash the dragon”
-R. Grossman
“Huh, and the QB didn’t even get killed?”
–Cincy OLine
The mask does nothing for the smell coming from under center
That ham is cooked
I wonder if the spelling is better without fans in the crowd.
So you’re saying the gravy floats too?
Damn, watching a Cowboy’s appendage get ruined like that, you’d think Ang Lee directed the game.
“If you get raped by a pack of, uh, Dolphins, it will be your fault.” – a marginally evolved Mel Gibson
I see that reaction time correlates almost perfectly with age in that family.
Yep, fish concerts are still annoying.
“AND RUSSELL WAITED UNTIL HIS WEDDING NIGHT TO GRAB CIARA’S HEAD AND GO WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! ONTO HIS COCK AND IT WAS ROMANTIC SO LET’S GO!!!”
I haven’t seen a Bengal come out of nowhere like that since Carole Baskin’s husband thought he was meeting with his smuggler buddies in that “abandoned” warehouse.
“…and then nine months later, the baby comes out, and you go back into the non-absinence phase for another week.”
Nice of the Washington doctors to create fashionable ponchos out of Alex’s leg tendons.
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Injury Update:
D. Prescott – Hokey Pokey – Doubtful to Return
If you go deep on me again, I’ll call your mom for Psalm of the Day. Every darned day!
LinkedIn suspended Jim Harbaugh’s account!
Another potential recruit for my NFL Injury PTSD Support Group!
—Joe Theisman
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“Dax”: I’m getting better.
Ref: No you’re not, you’ll be crying in a moment.
Cart Driver: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
“Dax”: I don’t want to go on the cart.
Ref’: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
Exhibit: A in Skip’s screed for Lamar’s benching
Maybe he’ll f***ing shut up about Kyle and Dwayne now. Thanks coach
Which do you think was the more insufferable place to live? Bay Area or D.C. metro?
YES
Dak: “It hurts when I do this.”
Team Doctor: “Then don’t do that.”
couldn’t hit water when in a boat.
-Scouting report
Welcome to the Theismann House!
— N. McCallum from the window of his Nissan Sentra
By the power of Grayskull…
I
HAVE
THE
POWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEERRRR
Are you one of my kids?
Like he’d fuck a black woman
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“Corona is a hoax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go maskless!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Not only are we going to Arizona, Russ, we’re going to San Francisco, and Buffalo and LA…and then we’re going to Tampa Bay, to take back the Lombardi Trophy! YEEEeeaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!”
“I don’t care what scientists and engineers say, JET FUEL! CAN’T! MELT! STEEL!”
Deep cut.
“Contraception of any sort is an affront to God, ya self-abusing cock wallet!”
“That number 99 on the Football Team’s defense gets mommy’s motor running!”
“I thought daddy was number 11?”
“Who wants cotton candy, kids?”
The “Turn Your Head and Goff” TD celebration executed to perfection…
OH!
“The FedEx Field turf almost claims another QB knee!”
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It’s just a cramp
–T. Romo
“Pussy.”
-A. Smith
Yeah, we’re still called the LOLphins…anyway, here’s “Wonderwall.”
I haven’t seen a jet this woefully off course since Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
:slow clap:
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