Your “Are You Ready For Round Two?” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

TO THE GAMES!

Chargers/Broncos:

In “Did I Read This Right?” news the Chargers have allowed only one rushing TD to a running back all year. I didn’t believe it so I went through each box score and yeah, Taysom Hill and Joe Burrow have run one in but they gave up their first to James Robinson just last week! So when I heard a fantasy dude this morning saying that this is Melvin Gordon’s “revenge game” I snorted to myself. Bosa and Ingram should just keep rolling along  because the Broncos allow pressure at a greater rate than anyone other than the Jetskis.

Saints/Bears:

Foles isn’t the answer, is he? Even when he was in a clean pocket on Monday he only averaged 4.3 yards per throw. I mean, I can’t see them going back to Truth Biscuit so they’re stuck in no qb land. And they’ve got enough skills guys to make themselves a nuisance in the NFC if only they could rearrange the pieces of the puzzle. Michael Thomas owners should be happy/get back on track now that he’s back. The expectation is that he’ll rack up the yards (natch) but not the TD’s because Chicago’s D tends to lock down on wr’s as they near the red zone.

Niners/Seahawks:

You’d think that Jimmy G might have to air it out in order to keep up with his counterpart Wilson. And that’s an easy thing to do vs. the Seattle secondary this year as there’s no killer D back there. They still have the horsies up front though-only Cook and Mattison have gone for as many as 60 yards against the Seahawks.

Your turn to type.

 

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King Hippo

Now y’all can run 3 times before missing the FG. PLEASE!

LemonJello

What’s the DFO deity of ties?

Redshirt
Recovery Whiskey

McNabb?

Sharkbait

David Carradine?

clint greasewood

I go with this one.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ty Webbcomment image

Recovery Whiskey

Da Bearss are gonna lose

King Hippo

PLAY FOAR THE POINT ON THE ROAD, YOU DILDO.

LemonJello

Are Foles’ receivers wearing actual bear paw gloves? You’d make those catches with opposable thumbs, morans!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s it, just stop putting TEs on the field

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Taysom Hill definitely wearing his magic underwear tonight

yeah right

The rewarding and sometimes frustrating thing about cooking is having a specific outcome or taste in mind. If you can deliver that, it’s rewarding as hell. I delivered the exact product I set out to make. And occasionally it may even be better than expected.

Today was very rewarding.

Brick Meathook

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Mother Puncher

We’re going to get that TD pass record “breaking news” every week now and I’ll forget everytime and think that like a war is starting or something

Recovery Whiskey

Breesus got this?

Recovery Whiskey

Pete Carroll’s smile might melt steel beams

Doktor Zymm

MUCH BONUS FOOTSBALLSING

King Hippo

Fights in every late window fixture. SO GREAT.

Doktor Zymm

They’re finally learning from hockey!

Sharkbait

Sharkbait Parlay

Mahomes over 2.5 passing TDs [X]
Henry over 99.5 rush yards [X]
Aiyuk to score [X]

PRAISE GAMBLOR!

Doktor Zymm

Whatsit pay?

Sharkbait

$5 into $56.65. So nothing major, but I’ll take it!

Redshirt

I wish there was a place close by I could sports gamble. That’s the sort of bet I throw $20 away with.

Horatio Cornblower

Nice!

clint greasewood

Lock pop locking

King Hippo

ONE CHEEK EQUALS TWO FEET REDUX!!!!!!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

BUTT DOWN, FACE UP!

King Hippo

SQUUUUUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bananacakes

Doktor Zymm

Da BRRRSSS!

LemonJello

Coaches that ice the kicker should get kicked in the balls by that same kicker.

Horatio Cornblower

/Shank’lor starts stretching out

Gratliff

IT’s time to break Matt Nagy’s brain

Doktor Zymm

Yes, but also with the 4 year election cycle

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Gratliff

Wait, how the hell did the bears get back in this?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not from TE play, I can tell you that

Doktor Zymm

The universe has measurement error

Sharkbait

Garbage time Aiyuk down please??

Petronel

There ya go

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Matt Nagy: Offensive Genius

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So does this end with the Bears missing a field goal in regulation or losing in OT?

Doktor Zymm

Yes

Horatio Cornblower

I can easily see Foles hitting one of the Saints right between the numbers.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not heartbreaking enough

Recovery Whiskey

Yes

Horatio Cornblower

How can you say that forward progress has stopped if you haven’t blown the whistle and the receiver is still trying to break free?

Whatever, Sean Payton gets screwed, I’m OK with it.

LemonJello

Fuck Sean Payton with Bea Arthur’s dick

Recovery Whiskey

Lockett up

Doktor Zymm

The Revenge of Saint Corbinian!

Doktor Zymm

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Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

No

King Hippo

#WhatHeSaid

BrettFavresColonoscopy

unfuckingreal

Mr. Ayo

BEARISTOCRATS!

Recovery Whiskey

Tarps off boys lets have a donnybrook

King Hippo

FIGHT WINDOW!!!

Redshirt

Pepsi: Made for People Who Gave Up on their Dreams!

King Hippo

TRUE FACT! It was originally called “Brad’s Drink” and I have 100% given up on my dreams.

Horatio Cornblower

Slightly off-topic but I just finished a book called ‘American Pop’ about an imaginary cola that was once bigger than Coke or Pepsi. I won’t give the ending away, but everyone dies.

ThePirateSloth

FOUR MINUTE OFFENSE

Recovery Whiskey

Denied

Redshirt

Oh, sure! Foles can get a brand new helmet in the middle of the game, but the Patriots and the Bengals can’t wear Pat Patriot or a white-striped helmet respectfully!

Horatio Cornblower

If I owned stock in Ford I would sell it in a cocaine heartbeat after that last commercial, which is essentially “Look how we fucked up the Mustang and the Jeep!”

LemonJello

*whispers* I want one of the new Broncos.

Horatio Cornblower

Borble.

Unsurprised

O.J.?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I legit don’t understand this game

Doktor Zymm

I wonder what it would be like if we lived in a world where we had “The Folus with the Bolus” instead of “Big Dick Nick”

Redshirt

Taysom Hill: an excellent football player (except for Franchise QB apparantly)

Gratliff

Extremely normal country
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Unsurprised

Losers

Horatio Cornblower

Filling up my gas tank for $400 and getting 2.2 mpg to own the libs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They can see Trump fellating Putin from their front porch.

King Hippo

For losers, they sure don’t handle losing very well.

Doktor Zymm

Right? I thought practice made perfect!

Redshirt

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Sharkbait

This guy Troymaine. I call him Pope Benedict VI, because he just got assassinated.

King Hippo

/Aiyuk down 6 inches from the goal line, as Sharky screams in agony

Sharkbait

That is accurate.

Horatio Cornblower

No way.

King Hippo

oh noes we done killed the Pope!!

Recovery Whiskey

Skittles is done