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We are maintaining a low text profile here at Quotables, as I continue to learn how to navigate this new WordPress backend. So, without further discussion, below are your Week 9 Quotables submissions.
2020 Quotables – Week 9 (Submissions)
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“How typical. Lying on his back, staring at the ceiling spent and useless. And I’m here embarrassed, disappointed and unfulfilled.”
-@mrscockwallet, on Twitter
First the Chinese meddle in the election and now they’re exerting undue influence on our sports teams!?!
Usually, when you try something like that with a Jaguar, you end up on the side of the road waiting for AAA Roadside Assistance.
THESE NY JETS, I CALL BOEING 737 MAX BECAUSE THEY TRY TO GET BY WITH LITTLE FIXES BUT STILL END UP CRASHING IN SPECTACULAR FASHION!
“Well that’s the last time *I* model my behavior after a guy who goes by the initials J.C.” – Phillip Rivers
This “lay up” gif is a fun contrast to the Phillip Rivers “lay down” gif.
You spend all your life with the mantra “just keep your kid off the pole” and a group of tacky dressed Bears ruin it all in an instant.
Last edited 5 years ago by Duchess
Lindsey Vonn is going to have to come back and teach the Texans to wrap it up.
Pretty sure you’d already locked down second whitest Hill on the Saints, but this helps
“Tiffany! I understand you now!”
A touchdown pass to an uncovered receiver and a back breaking INT with the game on the line? That’s so Flacco!
If Trump had succeeded in buying the Bills one of those guys would have practice going to his knees for a good 30 seconds of mushroom time
Two teams that don’t deserve to have names
The ineffective Road Kill tackle.
Thinks of Tannehill’s wife.
Pop Warner player turns off the TV and mutters “Amateurs” while shaking his head in disgust.
Same thing Houston mutters every time she sees the Texans get pounded
I have heard of defenders being called turnstiles, but I thought I would never see an actual turnstile play defense.
THIS HERE FOOTBALL, I CALL IT SOON-TO-BE-EX-PRESIDENT TRUMP BECAUSE IT IS A HOLLOW SPHEROID AND SLIPPERY LITTLE SONOVABITCH THAT NO ONE IN DC OR NEW YORK REALLY WANTS TO POSSESS
Sorry Balls, but I promised (threatened?) folks a few weeks back that I’d hopefully be able to make jokes about former Prez DJT and lo it has come to pass
LOL
NFC East is a mess this year…
Wax on
Whacks off
Bonus for you Cobra Kai fans . . .
Sweep the leg!!
When you have been in the bubble too long and everything looks good
or
Any port in a storm
Two for this one:
1) Hey, there’s no unsportsmanlike conduct against layups.
2) White Men (Still) Can’t Jump
♫ Jesus, take the [part of brain that controls lower body motor functions]…♫
If they had only done it together we’d have got a lovely coconut-like sound from their heads hitting
Last edited 5 years ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
Yakety Sax has a list of demands before it will be publicly associated with this play
And 1!
The goal post really liked the Tits fucking.
Wait, white tight ends are allowed to play basketball?
White tight ends are usually what get dunked on
Chris Berman is (whoop) going (whoop) to (whoop) lose his (whoop) voice.
Its like playing sports against a toddler. It takes a lot of hard work to shave so many points.
The repeated change of possessions in this scrum is eerily reminiscent of how the annual Kansas City greased pig competition played out that one year that Andy Reid was stuck at home with the flu.
Get DOWN! Ugh, where’s the spray bottle?
Wow, next-gen Madden looks so realistic, but they still can’t get fumble or triple coverage physics right.
By the end of the play, Phillip Rivers was mostly relieved that the opposing player chose not to impregnate him. But a part of him would always wonder.
Last edited 5 years ago by SonOfSpam
“Ok, on three, everybody do the Terri Schiavo Gettin Titty-Fucked”
God Fucking Damn It!
Spam is the hero we deserve!
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