I watched football Sunday. Like, multiple quarters of football. You see, I was laid up with the ‘rona a slight cold and got to enjoy the one-station offerings so many of you were commenting about in the early thread before really focusing my attention on the HOMETOWN RAIDERS versus Hippo’s Broncos. Boy, if that guy doesn’t already have a pill addiction, having to root for Drew Lock will give ya one, amirite?!
Anyways, little to do with gridiron action this week on Quotables. But! With fans being back in some stadiums (and not being back in other stadiums), we scrounged together a starting line up that up that will, well, work for now. Kind of like the Broncos roster!
So with all necessary words counts being {Checks WordPress Counter} very very very very very very met, I present to you your Week 10 Quotables submissions!
The Arizona equivalent of an O face but with a higher risk of arrest:
I AM TYLER DURDEN! No, wait, I AM NARRATOR!
This gif would make more sense if it were an NFC East game, and “Fly Eagles Fly” were playing over the loudspeakers.
“You there! The welder. Perhaps *you* can tell me whether jet fuel can melt steel beams.” – Pete Carroll
[begins coming up with a foolproof plan of having one of his passes land within twenty feet of another human] – Mitch Trubisky
“Stop hitting yourself why are you hitting yourself?” – the ghosts of Aaron Hernandez and Junior Seau
This highlight just got his parents signed by Chicago Bears… to the offensive line… they have no line. They just started Manti Te’o’s ex at left guard.
What do you mean I’m l cut off? I’m nowhere near drunk enough to make this game enjoyable, see!
Seen here is a Confederation of Karens doing what one can only speculate as a ritual dance for Essential oils.
I know. I can’t believe the Texans traded DeAndre Hopkins either.
“I just remembered I live in Arizona”
Carson Wentz tried to throw the ball to his parents and knocked Kate Mara unconscious.
“See? We get the same number of fans in our home stadium on game days.”
Who has the better vertical? Pigeon or
jaguar?
Wear a mask.
NOT THAT MASK!
Top Ten QB in Browns history
Birdie Kosar?
The new “Masked America’s Got Talent” show looks awful
I hate that I’ve been on Twitter long enough to know that it’s The Masked Singer.
I
WANT
MY
JUICE BOX
-Eli
Ain’t no party like a Katrina anniversary party
In a rare moment of cosmic kismet, Andy Reid, Ryan Leaf, Jim Tomsula and the ghost of Julia Child all think of their favorite recipe involving squab.
“I know what a sodomite is, but what the ever-loving heck is a cockwallet?”
“I don’t understand it, Jim…the fans here are yelling ‘Kuuuuuuhn’ even though he retired years ago.”
Haven’t seen a Cardinal this shocked since an altar boy keistered a taser.
[covers mouth with hand]
God DAMN IT!
I may or may not have suggested that to an altar boy I knew had been/was being molested.
The other pigeons cracked up when Ollie did his “OBJ knee injury” imitation right there on the same field.
for reference:
grumble grumble IwishwecouldgetfanslikethatinFoxboro grumble grumble
“Anybody seen Darnold? Sam! SAM! How’d you get up into the stands? Get back down here on the sideline right this minute!”
Lee Corso looking pretty spry for an old guy.
“Our home state didn’t give it’s electoral votes to the orange colostomy bag of bile? Are we through the looking glass here?”
Joe Arpaio is still a free man and the Navajo Nation is being ravaged by COVID-19, but small mercies I guess.