Your “This Is Definitely The Night” NFL Football Open Thread

Sorry for the confusion: since the re-tooling of the site the people-powerful men and women, all of them-behind the scenes are still sorting through all the hamsters that operate the levers and cogs that make this place purr. It’s an arduous, hands-on process that involved a mass firing and then a re-interview process that’s taken quite some time. You can rest assured, a very insignificant number of gerbils have been molested to this point. [gives Balls the stinkeye] Moving on…

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Raiders:

-Andy Reid is coming off the bye so you know what that means… Yup, steakhouses in K.C. have had to take several items off their menus.

-Where’s Waller? Since week 5 he hasn’t had more than 50 yds or 6 grabs. If you do the fantasy thing that position has been unadulterated garbage. I’ve set expectations down to about 6 or 7 points, myself.

-The Raiders pulled off the upset a few weeks ago by flushing Mahomes from the pocket but preventing him from using his wheels. That resulted in him averaging just over 4 seconds to release the ball as he wandered behind the line of scrimmage looking for his wr’s. I’m not sure that Las Vegas can do that twice in one season. Nobody seems to talk about it but Patty is a student that puts the time in the film room and no doubt will be able to come up with a solution.

-Another facet of the game that caught the Chiefs off their guard was Carr going long a few times. He completed 2 30+ yard tosses that day-he threw only one all year in 2019. (remember that year? We were all so young and brave…)

-The Raiders haven’t allowed an rb to get more than 75 yds rushing since week 3. That might allow you to fade K.C.’s muddled backfield if you’re so inclined.

Welcome to the thread that is the night one. Type away.

 

 

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Spur

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Spur

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Doktor Zymm

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Spur

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Don T

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clint greasewood

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Last edited 4 years ago by clint greasewood
Spur

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Unsurprised

I took a two mile walk around my neighborhood for the first time in a month or two and it’s sad seeing all the local stores shuttered.

It really makes it clear that this whole catastrophe is because monopolies work, the shock doctrine works, and it’s going to be swell when we’re all working for Walmart or Amazon.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe we’re thinking of different things, but you really think over a quarter of a million people have died in the US alone because of monopolies?

Unsurprised

Yes. And your employer was one of the beneficiaries

Doktor Zymm

So you’re saying Covid deaths are caused by monopolies. Cool. Have fun in your weird, morbid, paranoid fantasy.

hippofant

Hmm, I wonder whether it was conservatives or progressives who kneecapped US anti-trust law? LET’S GO TO THE TAPE:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leegin_Creative_Leather_Products,_Inc._v._PSKS,_Inc.- Majority: Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, Alito (overruling 1911 precedent)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credit_Suisse_Securities_(USA)_LLC_v._Billing – Majority: Breyer, Roberts, Scalia, Souter, Ginsburg, Alito, concurrence by Stevens
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Atlantic_Corp._v._Twombly: Majority – Souter, Roberts, Scalia, Kennedy, Thomas, Breyer, Alito
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weyerhaeuser_Co._v._Ross-Simmons_Hardwood_Lumber_Co. – Unanimous

HMMMM.

Unsurprised

300,000 Americans died so Bezos and a dozen Walton heirs who’ve done literally nothing their entire lives (except the one who was so stupid and lazy they couldn’t even keep the person who did all the work for them quiet and lost their USC degree; that is a kind of work) could become even wealthier.

Doktor Zymm

And I guess the 1 million+ non-Americans who died were just collateral damage in this scheme by American corporations to start a pandemic?

hippofant

South Korea’s economy is dominated by several large, government-backed corporations, and yet their COVID-19 death count is 509, which would proportionally put them at 3212 deaths relative to the US population.

So maybe no, it’s not the economy stupid, it’s just you.

Last edited 4 years ago by hippofant
Doktor Zymm

Did you see the Korean Air and Asiana merger?
It amazingly did not cause a surge of Covid deaths!

Viva La Tabula Raza

This is already starting to become tiresome.

Doktor Zymm

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Spur

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Spur

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clint greasewood

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Last edited 4 years ago by clint greasewood
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I thought that was Rex Ryan in the smaller photo.

clint greasewood

Just some random fat guy with a foot fetish.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That pic makes Mahomes look like a high school DB who got caught stealing underwear from the women’s locker room.

Unsurprised

I guess I should post some pics since I slept through Sexy Friday.

clint greasewood

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WCS

He calls that the pre-appetitizer appetizer.

Spur

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clint greasewood

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Don T

I’ll be switching to “The Crown” soon for domestic bliss reasons. Wish for Agholor to get more points than Thatcher after the Falklands clampdown

Unsurprised

/Requisite “Fuck Thatcher sideways with a Buick” comment

Don T

Oh sí.

King Hippo

What did the Buick ever do to deserve such a dreadful fate?

Spur

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King Hippo

GAH, that Wayne Newton picture. Nightmare fuel beyond any moutheyes ever photoshopped.

clint greasewood

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

No way he’s keeping his pants on in that scenario

Doktor Zymm

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WCS

The remake of Evil Dead looks alright.

clint greasewood

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

4 more of those, please.

Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

She’s GOTTA be a terrible driver, but still looking good.

Doktor Zymm

Hard to drive in 5 inch heels with 1.5 inch platforms

Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

–Brought to you by Balls’ underwear reviews and Coleman tents

BrettFavresColonoscopy

According to Yahoo, I’m apparently on a MASSIVE lag

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, i need 62 points from Jacobs tonight and RoJo tomorrow.

My team keeps scoring the 2nd and 3rd most points and playing the top scorer of the week.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

That was the hit that earned George H. W. Bush his 00 designation.

clint greasewood

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Spur

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Spur

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Spur

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WCS

“Uh, could you hit five for me?”

Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
Unsurprised

Face covering violation

Spur

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Doktor Zymm

That dude looks really familiar for some reason

ballsofsteelandfury

He needs a wedding date

Unsurprised

I think it’s Zac Efron.

Spur

These tickets would have gone $1500+

Unsurprised

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Doktor Zymm

The cats, yes, but no way she lives up to being a Raiders fan long term

King Hippo

KIIIIITTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Spur

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Spur

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Doktor Zymm

I wasn’t planning on getting irresponsibly drunk tonight, but it’s sinking in that I don’t have to work tomorrow, so I just might.

Notes to self:
Turn off Monday alarm
Buy lemon juice
Call my cousin back over a week later, d’oh

Spur

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Spur

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rockingdog

another day of staring at the big screen while scrolling through my little screen so as to reward myself for staring at the medium screen all week

Doktor Zymm

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clint greasewood

NFC EAST Football

Screen Shot 2020-11-22 at 6.42.37 PM.png
Doktor Zymm

A DIVISIOUN UNTO THEMSELVES

Doktor Zymm

In a sense, the Cowpokers are actually in a good spot, since they’re the only team with 2 out of division wins. They’re 1-2 in the division, but they’ve also played the fewest division games. When a division is this crap, these things matter.

Spur

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Doktor Zymm

Don’t get hasty now, my Team fandom may have faded into that odd combination of affection, confusion and scorn that accompanies any long-time ex, but that, and Dak’s injury, only MILDLY temper my Dallas hate

Gumbygirl

Parity? Or…parody!

Doktor Zymm

Yes!

WCS

The Covid of football!

rockingdog

catch the fever!

Recovery Whiskey

The Nevada governor is announcing new near-lockdown rules right this very minute. Won’t change the game of course.

herodotus450

Players who forced a trade before even being drafted: Elway, Eli Manning. Cherrypicking the metric of “Super Bowl Wins,” it clearly worked out for those two, so why doesn’t everyone do it?

Spur

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Last edited 4 years ago by Spur
ballsofsteelandfury

It was consensual. And sensual.

Duchess

How on brand would it be if Cleveland has the best season in recent history and still fail to make the playoffs?

Unsurprised

Jimmy Haslam has trademarked it and is using the story as a scheme to continue defrauding the federal government.

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