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2020 Quotables – Week 13 (Submissions)

blaxabbath

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,

Week 13. Man, I like Week 13. Even if it brought us to dawn of the 14th week, we made it.

First of all, I never expected the season to last this long so…

::pulls out samurai sword and admires blade::

…kudos to Rodger Goodell, The Shield, the NFLPA, and the players/coaches for making the expectation of a complete-as-any season happening.

::places sword gently on an amber-rich maple stump::

To have reached the three-quarter point of the season this deep in the pandemic (I mean, the NBA went full bubble in the spring!) is an applaudable accomplishment. We all know how harsh we the rest of you would have been had the season been cancelled or otherwise severely impacted so, reluctantly raises your glasses please.

:: Remember when Cane is killed in Alien? That happens. Or the end of the Saw where she wears the shotgun cartridge collar. Either way.::

Please find your Week 13 Quotables submissions below.

Weird how Jets fans homes look like regular peoples….
As oppose to, say, Cowboys fans who want to invite the internet into their home/cave.
::Ingests Pills:: – K. Hippo
“You gotta tackle with your….SOMETHING!” -Coach Duchess
“What is all this, doing something worth celebrating now?” – 2020 Dallas Cowboys Defensive Coordinator, Mike Nolan
See? If your cloth jersey can’t stop a droplet of water, why would a cloth mask stop a virus?! SHEEPLE!
This. This is why the Cowboys made us wait an additional day for Quotables submissions.

 

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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FRANKS N BEANS! FRANKS N BEEEEEANS!

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Duchess

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The odds are that 85% of those pictures are covering up holes punched into the wall

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Duchess

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Lovin’ you
is easy cause you’re beautiful
doo-n-doo-n-doo-dooo
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh

2
Duchess

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My life in GIF form.

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Duchess

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“I am not the ball carrier you are looking for”
“This is not the ball carrier we are looking for”
“I can Move along now”
“Move along now”

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I haven’t seen a Cowboy wearing #88 fail to make a catch since…NUTS TO THAT WE ALL KNOW IT WAS A CATCH.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“When I said I wanted to see a couple of rams butting heads, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” – Little Bo Peep during sheep mating season

Last edited 5 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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This one-hand-touch shit won’t fly in the NFL, unless of course you are trying to get yourself flagged for a roughing-the-passer penalty against Tom Brady.

Last edited 5 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Downfield Matriculator

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NextGen Stat Update: Cam Newton closes to within 327 of all-time leader Philip Rivers in number of balls floated out of the end zone at a Chargers home game.

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montythisseemsstrangetome

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“Did you hear?!! There’s a vaccine coming!!”
“Yeah, I’m sure you glory boy skill position players will get it before us true front-line workers.”

2
blaxabbath

I’m going to shocked if Ivanka isn’t getting it before nurses in Atlanta.

1
Unsurprised

Do you honestly think that would be any different if she was just a regular billionaire’s fail child and not also the President’s daughter? In this fucking hellhole of a country.

Last edited 5 years ago by Unsurprised
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blaxabbath

I do not.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Clearly the receivers fault
-C Colinsworth

5
Don T

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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??Ah, look at all the Angelenos
Ah, look at all the Angelenos

Tyler Higbee
Picks up the pace on the grass where the COVID had been
And the Niners now live
Gets hit in the facemask
By the teammate whose roid rage is like a flying open door
Who is it for?
All the lonely Rams fans
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely Rams fans
Where do they all belong?

5
LemonJello

This is just *chef’s kiss* perfect.

3
ArmedandHammered

Holy Shitsnacks, that is fantastic!

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montythisseemsstrangetome

This is very good.

1
SonOfSpam

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Worst CeeDee mistake since I bought Metallica’s “St. Anger”

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LemonJello

“How’d he get my jersey?”
-M. Irvin, pulling back from a mountain of cocaine

2
SonOfSpam

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“Oh, so THAT’S how you overthrow Chiefs.”

-George Custer

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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NFC Least dominating NFC North Special Teams, so by the transitive property, Jalen Hurts is now the starting quarterback for the Bears

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SonOfSpam

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INCELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!
It’s incelebration.

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montythisseemsstrangetome

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“But Coach, I thought he was just going to stop at the 1, like DeSean.”

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blaxabbath

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“If Jerry finds out I’m hooked on Rogers’ chicken, I’m back there with the red menace!”

1
Dunstan

Worst. Door flying open. Ever.

4
Dunstan

(The Cowboys fan, not your comment, in case that wasn’t clear.)

2
Don T

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So you still miss Cutler? Here! /sobs with indignation

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blaxabbath

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Don T

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Aa hehe HEH! Better than Gronk also in articul… Atriculat… Words!

1
Don T

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Low ceilings rule. Not claustrophobic at all wooooo!

1
blaxabbath

“Low ceiling, you say?”

-Tua Tagovailoa

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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See, not so easy
-T Brady

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Official Jets video demonstrating how to pass block.

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Nice throw
-C. Wentz

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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I’m surprised his mom let him do this to the basement

2
Downfield Matriculator

Particularly after she caught a glimpse of his internet search history

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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:Chuckles, cashes check:

–Kendall Hinton

2
LemonJello

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“Dude. Six feet for social distancing! You trying to get us fined by the league?”

1
Sharkbait

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My newest parler post got 4 upvotes! YEEEHAAWWWWWW

6
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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TOUCHDOWN, SEAHAWKS!

1
ArmedandHammered

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Here we see two beta ram males attempting to establish dominance within the flock’s hierarchy.

3
LemonJello

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“THIS GUY, I CALL THE NATIONAL TRANSPORTATION SAFETY BOARD, BECAUSE HE’S WATCHING ANOTHER JETS DISASTER HAPPEN AND HE’LL HAVE TO PICK UP THE PIECES AGAIN.”

5
ArmedandHammered

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Football symbolizes man’s reaching for glory, striving to be better than he ever has before, to push his boundaries, to snatch victory from defeat. And then you have this play.

4
LemonJello

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“HE’S A GOTT-DAMMED STAR I TELL YOU! YEEEEeeeeHHAAAAWWWwwww I AM FUCKING CRAZY!”

4
ArmedandHammered

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Not really a submission, but I wonder how sad this guys life is that he has this much time, energy and money to have a room like this, but then I think, well he is a Cowboys fan.

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LemonJello

He probably got a legit 90% of that from going through other fans’ trash cans.

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ArmedandHammered

Much like Jerry Jones going through the police blotter in other teams home cities looking for his next signing?

3
montythisseemsstrangetome

“…looking for his next signing whore?”

2
Sharkbait

$5 he says he posts conspiracy videos to facebook, and parler. Wait, that would make a good caption….

Last edited 5 years ago by Sharkbait
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blaxabbath

“I would wager a guess that he’s already terribly in debt on trucks/quads/goosenecks so free gifts with his SI subscription are pretty much the only assets he actually owns.”

-J. Ramsey

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LemonJello

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Interesting tactic of throwing actual roasted ducks toward Andy Reid.

4
ArmedandHammered

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At a carnival that would get you the large stuffed animal!

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