Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

It feels good to get some fresh air into the lungs. The Cup and Saucer Trail is a very popular hike that’s only about a 2 hour drive from where I’m hunkered down and I figured I’d give it a go, so many folks had said good things about it. And they were correct-it’s laid out well, the scenery is gorgeous and there weren’t too many folks so of course my mind wandered to where it usually goes…

But there was no luck on that front. Most folks I passed were hiking in pairs and those that weren’t had taken a dog as company. There was a lone person here and there but I got to thinking that there was no way to tell if someone was coming along behind them as the trail twisted and turned in certain places. You’ve got to be smart about these things-if things don’t go perfectly a scream or yell can bring some fit people running right quick and all hell could break loose then.

So I got back into my vehicle and headed back. I’d reached the junction of Highways 6 and 17 and was turning west towards home when I saw a kid on the side of the road. He was hitchhiking but had lost hope of getting a ride. His thumb was out but his head was down against his chest. Guess he’d been there for awhile. I made a quick calculation and several tumblers clicked into place-the time of day, a side road, an inventory of what was in the trunk-they told me that this was a slam dunk. I pulled onto the shoulder.

As I lowered the passenger-side window he stuck his head in-

“Where you headed?”

“Not too far, about 90 minutes west of here. You?”

“I’m headed to B.C.-gotta long way to go.”

“Well, grab your gear and throw it in the backseat. We’ll knock a little chunk off your trip.”

“Yes sir!”

His open face and bald enthusiasm gave me pause, but just for a moment. He was from a small town outside Halifax and had been on the road for four days and was actually making good time, relatively speaking.

“B.C., huh? What’s out there? What’s your game plan?”, I asked.

“I’ve got three buddies out there that have been there about nine months. They’re sharing an apartment and they tell me there are plenty of jobs in the northern part of the province. I’ve been outta work for awhile. I just want to do something. Anything. I’m 22, don’t have a girlfriend and I want to see the country and live my life.”

My heart skipped a beat and I thought I might have briefly smirked. It didn’t seem as though he saw it. If he did, it didn’t seem to register. The sun was on its way down and the sideroad was coming up.

“Hey, I have to make a small detour, drop off some stuff to a cousin that lives on a road up ahead. You mind?”

He shook his head. As I turned in he looked at the road sign. “‘Seldom Seen Road’, we’ve got a lot of strangely-named towns and roads out east but this one takes the cake!” He shook his head again and smiled to himself. The road was about 8 kilometers long with houses on the righthand side for the first half and then spaced very far apart afterwards, most uninhabited. Nothing but dense bush on the other side. I slowed down and stopped in front of a residence that didn’t have any lights on.

“Looks like your cousin isn’t home”, he said as he peered out the window.

“Not a problem, I can drop the stuff on his back porch.” I popped the trunk and got out of the car. He was still staring at the house.

As I grabbed the mace and the tire iron I could see him looking at the overgrown grass, the sagging eavestrough, the broken bedroom window. I imagine a few tumblers began to fall into place for him now too. I went back to the open driver’s side door, peered in and was about to ask a question so he would turn towards me but he already had, a look of gradual realization that “something” not right was going to unfold. I gave him a full shot of mace in the eyes, his hands were flailing about, trying for the door latch but he was in full panic mode. I managed to grab him by the back of his collar and pulled him as hard as I could out my open door. Heaving backwards I lost my footing. He was half in and half out of the car, still flailing, trying to get to his feet. As he fell to the ground I was able to get to my feet and I gave him a blow on the back of his skull. He slumped onto the ground and I gave him another, and another. I quickly dragged him into the bushes and gave him some more. And then I dragged him further in.

I staggered back to the car, completely out of breath-“maybe a bit too much fresh air”, I thought to myself. I pulled into the driveway of the abandoned house and turned around and made my way back to the highway. As I pulled out I looked at the road sign, nodded and thought, “You’ve seen plenty of me over the years, haven’t you?” I smiled.

TO THE GAME!

Steelers/Bills:

-This is a tale of two qb’s-one that holds the ball for a long time looking to run or make a pass and another that zips it out of the pocket in about 2.2 seconds on average. Which is which?

-One thing that is holding the Steelers back-aside from the lack of a credible run game-is the amount of dropped passes that are occuring. Over just the last two games they’ve had 11 fall between mitts. The next team has five less.

-Wr-wise Diggs is the obvious start but Pitt has had a ton of trouble defending the slot and that’s where our man Beasley resides. He’s just come off a 130 yard adventure last week.

-What do you do with Conner now that he’s back? Does he gets the full workload or does the coaching staff throw caution to the wind and the wolves? Either way, I bet he gets injured-it just comes naturally to him.

Do as thou wish.

 

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
269 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brocky

evening.

comment image

I’m just now coming down from the euphoria of the bears scoring more than seven points in the second quarter

Unsurprised

Did the other team’s entire defense come down with Covid?

TheRevanchist

Steelers trying to start a fight because they are losing. I call that Presidential Level Losing.

Sharkbait

They’re going to appeal to the Supreme Courtyard by Marriott.

WCS

I’d love to see LeMu Emu peck out and eat Doug’s eyes and throat.

Sharkbait

Fucking this. I hate those ads

Dunstan

LIBERTY LIBERTY LIBERTY

clint greasewood
Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
Sharkbait

Ben ANGRY!

TheRevanchist

When Ben is intercepted, an angel gets its wings.

Gumbygirl

Jesus Hopping Christ. I’m done with this game!

WCS

I LOATHE this “song.”

Gumbygirl

Dinner was everything I hoped for! That Beasley looks like he could be Mrs. Beasley’s son, with those golden curls. When we were in high school, Gumby had this weird old poodle who had a hysterical pregnancy. Her “puppies” were a Mrs. Beasley doll and a squeaky toy shaped like a hamburger. She would attack anyone who got too close.

Sharkbait

Just finished helping Mrs Sharkbait prep for cookie baking tomorrow. Molasses cookies are so bad for you, but oh so good

WCS

PEAK CANADIAN ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Dunstan

Needs to be Nanaimo bars… (not really, they’re not a particular favorite of mine)

Redshirt

23-7? What the hell happened?

WCS

Karma?

Gumbygirl

My dinner is almost ready, so I may just abandon this shitshow! I am making stuffed acorn squash with quinoa, mushrooms, onion, garlic, zucchini, blue cheese, and chopped pecans. Smells really good, we shall see?

Gumbygirl

Forgot dried cranberries and a little chopped chicken.

Dunstan

Whew, thought you were going vegetarian there.

Going with sauteed steelhead filet, quinoa, and steamed pea tendrils with garlic.

Oh, and wine. Most definitely wine.

Doktor Zymm

for the best. That is far better than our crap 🙂

JimU

comment image

WCS

comment image

Game Time Decision

Ben’s dad?

litre_cola

When Josh Allen played at Wyoming he was a gambling gold mine.

litre_cola

Pittsburgh is the frauds everyone thought they were due to the easy schedule?

hippofant

Maybe they should cover Diggs.

litre_cola

Would probably be a start.

Game Time Decision

Please don’t. Need a few more FF points from him

Game Time Decision

Seems so

herodotus450

I think the “Cleveland At Least We’re Not Owned By Marge Schott”s has a nice ring to it.

King Hippo

You ever have knee hurt so much that you’re like “shit, I should go to the doctor” but you know they will ask what happened to it, and I’d have to say…”I have no goddamned idea.”

Game Time Decision

THIS. And not just the knees. Like every body part on random days

litre_cola

I did 20 min yoga with Mrs. Cola today, and for some reason my calf muscles are really f’ing sore this evening.

Game Time Decision

Gotta stretch now for anything physical. We old now. It sucks

And yoga is hard. Want to try it, but like, covid and trying NOT to be the creepy dude in the class

Doktor Zymm

Covid is legit, but once it’s not an issue, show up and if anyone makes you feel creepy they’re shit and you should go elsewhere

litre_cola

That is why we are doing at home with beginner shit on youtube. Felt superb afterwards, stretching it all out etc.

hippofant

I think there are Zoom yoga classes too and shit now.

herodotus450

“Well I was training for a marathon and–”
“Ahem.”
“…Ok, I was trying to close the fridge with my leg because I had so much cheese in my arms…”

yeah right

Is it a clicking and catching type pain? Because that would be a meniscus injury. If it’s achy this fucking sucks type pain then that’s called arthritis.

If you didn’t do anything to injure then that rules out ligaments.

It’s called old age my friend.

I have knowledge only because I got there first.

Last edited 3 years ago by yeah right
Game Time Decision

I don’t have a meniscus injury. Would need to have some for it to be injured.

yeah right

Arthritis fucking sucks. I’ve had it since I was 12.

No joke. Rheumatoid arthritis.

Game Time Decision

Coworker has RA, it sucks. Sorry man

Gumbygirl

Oh, that’s bad. I am sorry. Are any of the new generation drugs helping?

yeah right

I just learned to accept it. It is always there but I’m not going to let it stop me.

yeah right

Just some NSAIDs as needed.

Unsurprised

Yes. Then I caved anyway. Turned out to be because at 28 I had the body of a retiree.

A non-NFL retiree.

clint greasewood

Is Mr Mayor Ted Danson going to city officials to break up homeless encampments and side with the LAPD when they shoot an unarmed black man.

King Hippo

ONE MOAR catch for Ebron, and then I beat DonT so long as Jarvis Landry dies shortly after kickoff.

Dunstan

Insurmountable lead surmounted!

herodotus450

Tyler Bass needed to be a little more sharp on that kick eh?

Doktor Zymm

He got the TD, but damn, tuck that proper man!

clint greasewood

Let’s go Buffalo

Game Time Decision

Norwood’d the extra point. Lol

LemonJello

SHANK’LOR cares not for your wings!

TheRevanchist

Suck it, Ben!

King Hippo

MOAR LIEK Bass-NO-Matic if u ask me smh

Doktor Zymm

2 SECONDS FROM DROPBACK TO INTERCEPTION

Gumbygirl

Fffffffuuuuuuccccckkkk!

WCS

HARF CHANGE

King Hippo

Ruh roh, The Ben

LemonJello

REVERSAL OF FORTUNE! HARF-PICK-SIX!

Mr. Ayo

HARFCEPTION!

King Hippo

Is it just me, or is Collinsworth extra insufferable tonight?

Game Time Decision

Not just you

hippofant

He’s all ecstatic from learning that Toronto is in Canada.

Gumbygirl

He’s always like this when it’s the Steelers. Prick.

Doktor Zymm

Thank you brie, for making glogg palatable.

LemonJello

Answering touchdowns with field goals seems like a recipe to lose.

hippofant

I know Allen’s making completions, but he’s throwing EVERYTHING high.

hippofant

Okay, not that one, but everything else has been thrown high.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, better than Tebow

hippofant

Well shit, I’d take Josh Allen over Tim Tebow in that stupid car commercial too. And on football shows. And actually just everywhere Tim Tebow is, I’d replace him with Johs Allen.

LemonJello

*sighs wistfully*
-Demi Leigh Tebow

comment image

hippofant

Yes, I can confirm I would totally prefer Josh Allen be the one to plow her in their marital bed over Tim Tebow.

King Hippo

That makes TWO of us! – Tim T., Gainesville, FL

LemonJello

“Not that we don’t have the sex. We, like, totally have all the sex. Too much sex, even. So. Much. Sex.”

-T. Tebow

Redshirt

Sadly (using his accuracy as a NFL QB as an example), he probably is still a technical virgin with several…um…incomplete attempts.

TheRevanchist

Probably should stayed away from the weed before kick off

LemonJello

Josh Gordon has entered the chat

LemonJello

They play tackle* football in the National Football League!

*sometimes

Doktor Zymm

Ugh. Fine. There’s a half left. I’ll finish the Glogg.

Redshirt

Nobody: Taken without the Kidnapping and Sexual Trafficking

Game Time Decision

So falling down?

/Hasn’t seen any of the Taken movies

Redshirt

Only saw the first one. There was two more and and series, but to quote Kevin Smith when he was approached for a sequel for Beetlejuice “”Didn’t we say all we needed to say in the first Beetlejuice? Must we go tropical?”

Its worth seeing once though. Think of it as Liam Neeson as a retired John Wick going Papa Wolf.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Dunstan

With a dash of A History of Violence

hippofant

Stefan Diggs is as confused as I am why he’s running a 2-yard route on 3rd and 18.

rockingdog

Oh shit
US Treasury was hacked
this seems

NOT ROCKINNG

hippofant

But we put Rudy Giuliani in charge of teh cyberz!!!!!1

hippofant

HE STOPPED 9/11!

Doktor Zymm

Eh, just emails. No big. It’s not like it’s HILLARY”S EMAILSOMGLOESHAWSEKLDJLAWEO!

herodotus450

Lock. Up. The Treasury.
Oh wait, it already is.
/I know it’s not a giant vault of gold but just go with it.

WCS

The Fixx! I’ll allow it!

King Hippo

u r being Saved By Zero wen u think about it

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

The funk does not find favor

Game Time Decision

*favoUr

Gumbygirl

I’ll take it!

herodotus450

If you’d told me three teams from the AFC North would make the playoffs this year, I would have told you the divisions must have gotten realigned.

Redshirt

Just be thankful that the Bengals front office and coaching staff broke the franchise. All four teams could’ve made it.

Redshirt

Nevermind. Forgot how to count.

Redshirt

No, I’m right. Dammit, this year is confusing!

WCS

Insurmountable lead?

Gumbygirl

Let us pray.

Doktor Zymm

So. Dumb.

LemonJello

Race to 3 points wins it?

Dunstan

Insurmountable lead!