Your “Hallelujah, It’s Spring Break!” Saturday Evening Open Thread

I realize it’s a pretty rich statement, coming from a guy who’s only been back to work for two weeks after three months off. But we ran out of substitute teachers this week, because

  1. illness, and
  2. it’s not uncommon for the subs to take Spring Break early before shit gets crowded. (It’s kinda smart, really.)

So I had to stay until 9:30pm twice, so the evening block could have a teacher for the Grade 10 English class.

Let me tell you – teachers are pretty burnt out right now. I usually don’t have much time for the usual whining about the sniffles & woe-is-me stories about not being a millionaire, because

  1. “You should have chosen a different career then”,
  2. “Don’t you have a cabin on an island?” and
  3. “Hey dumbass! We work with the un- and under-employed. Maybe don’t bitch about your full-time salary in front of the jobless!”

But it sounds different this time. Mostly, it comes from “being an essential service” but not qualifying for an early vaccine because there aren’t enough shots to go around. And the ones we do have are about to expire in April, as the government sat on the Astrazeneca doses until they figured out who was going to get them. Who is getting them, you ask? Well, because we have a socialist government that doesn’t believe in merit- or essential service- based provision, they went with age!

Not just teachers, but cops, firefighters and food industry also have to wait their turn. So I hope all the US commentists get there shots soon, because the raging incompetence with which the BC government is operating it’s vaccination strategy means I’ll likely be dead by the start of football season.

So someone will be necessary to manage the Open Threads. And please don’t spit on my grave.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Montreal vs Calgary – 7:00pm | Sportsnet / City
    • Winnipeg vs Toronto – 7:00pm | CBC / Sportsnet360
    • Pittsburgh vs Buffalo – 7:00pm | NHLN
    • Edmonton vs Vancouver – 10:00pm | NHLN / CBC
  • NBA:
    • Denver vs Memphis – 7:00pm | NBATV
    • Toronto vs Charlotte 7:00pm | Sportsnet1
    • Dallas vs Denver – 10:00pm | NBATV / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Big 12 Final – 6:00pm | ESPN / TSN4
    • Mountain West Final – 6:00pm | CBS
    • Southwestern Athletic Final – 6:00pm | ESPNU
    • Big East final – 6:30pm | FOX
    • Mid-American Final – 7:30pm | ESPN2
    • Atlantic Coast Final – 8:30pm | ESPN / TSN4
    • Southland Final – 9:30pm | ESPN2
    • Western Athletic Final – 10:00pm | ESPNU
    • Pac-12 Final – 10:30pm | ESPN / TSN4
    • Big West Final – 11:30pm | ESPN2
  • Curling:
    • Tim Hortons Brier: Championship Round – 8:30pm | TSN
  • Fisticuffs:
    • MMA:
      • UFC Fight Night: Edwards vs. Muhammad
        • Prelims – 6:00pm | TSN5 / ESPN+
        • Main card – 8:00pm | TSN5 / ESPN+
    • Boxing:
      • Showtime Boxing: Benavidez vs. Ellis – 8:00pm | TSN2

It’s “Selection Sunday” tomorrow night, so let’s get our prognostication hats on & guess how they’ll try to force Duke & Kentucky into the tourney.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
72 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, there were 3 who got away?

WCS

Spring Forward is such dog piss.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think I’m bad luck for the Anteaters.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Grumble grumble do you know what a pun is? Your aunt sure does grumble grumble.”

SonOfSpam

They look less interested in winning than UCSB. That’s not a good thing.

SonOfSpam

About 10 minutes till the Anteaters take on the favored Gauchos for the Big West spot in the tourney. Thanks to all the Eastern folks who are staying up to watch this slugfest.

If you’re confused as to which team to root for, remember that incel killer Elliot something went to Santa Barbara. And Irvine gave the world Jon Lovitz AND Greg Louganis.

Game’s on The Deuce.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, I’m watchin’.

SonOfSpam

Thanks, but it’s time to stop.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry, but the word “stop” is not part of my vocabulary.

[cracks open another Bud Light]

SonOfSpam

I’m up for whatever as long as whatever includes turning on an SNL rerun. Fuck off for tonight, sports.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.
What the hell? Never seen this before.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder what 2019 Rikki would say if he heard 2021 Rikki complain that season 2 of Downton Abbey has gotten to be too much of a soap opera.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cocktail update: I made Sharky’s Bebbo: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2021/03/05/sharkbaits-cocktail-of-the-week-bebbo/

It’s delicious.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BEEBO SMASH!
comment imagev

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It pisses me off when a contestant on Chopped forgets an ingredient and doesn’t get cut. They should adopt the principle of “adverse inference” and assume that what they *would* have made would have tasted like powdered shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Today was the lowest number of coronavirus cases for a Saturday since September 26, 2020. That’s rockin’!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I may eat chicken curry tonight, but I don’t have an ESB to go with it. What does the collective recommend instead? Beer and cocktails are both on the table.

SonOfSpam

Eating something that doesn’t smell like sulfurous cabbage had tequila shits?

(Sorry, I know hating Indian food is my issue, not yours. God bless.)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gin and tonic?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I honestly don’t know if I have tonic. But gin is a good idea.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve read that vodka works as a tonic substitute.

litre_cola

The Ice Bombers just took 5 of a possible 6 pts from the centre of Canada. Fantastic.

Don T

Mad Magazine’s Al Jaffee turns 100 today! I liked a lot his Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. He explains the fold-ins in this video. Money shot: I’ll never retire. They’ll have to suffer the ignominy of firing a 95 year-old man”.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pK6xE-9sdII

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A kid in my class in college did his page (yes, we had our own pages) as a Mad fold-in. It was really impressive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s pretty messed up that I am disappointed that I have to stay awake for more than two hours before I can justify going to bed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, it’s actually making it worse, because I told myself I wasn’t allowed to drink if I failed my max bench press attempt today, and I failed. But I’m drinking anyways.

ArmedandHammered

What is their to justify? Go to bed, masturbate fiercely, then fall asleep content with a job well done.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Given how my day started, that’s, uh, not an option.

TheRevanchist

Life just doesn’t happen. You need to make it happen. Get a bottle of lotion and make it happen!

herodotus450

I dont know who Graham is but his crackers are generally bland and unremarkable

litre_cola

They fucking kick ass as a cheesecake crust. There is no argument to this.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know that sick fuck made them to stop us from masturbating, right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The part where he chews up the bullet and spits it out as machine gun fire is truly inspired.

Fronkenshteen
litre_cola

Loved him, hated Sugar Ray, both the band and the boxer.

SonOfSpam

Look, I understand hating the boxer, but have you ever listened to “Fly” after a long day on the job, and really taken its meaning?

litre_cola
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All I know is that if I ever hurl Mark McGrath off a building and he screams in terror as he plummets towards the ground I will yell after him “What’s the matter, Mark? I thought you just wanted to fly!”

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Note: I have a similar taunt I will use on Lenny Kravitz.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Steve Miller, too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You gotta roll him up in a carpet first.

SonOfSpam

Kevin Cronin from REO Speedwagon will know when it’s his time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Speaking of non-boxer stuff, I wonder if Balls’ underwear review is still the most-viewed post or if it got overtaken by Ian’s Russian rom-com review.

Redshirt
Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope that motherfucker has worse diabetic neuropathy than me.

Redshirt

If all racists can get their foots amputated by a dull spoon, I’d consider that a first step.

Dunstan

You’ve got to love that this guy was so outraged at the “disrespect” being shown to the national anthem by some teenagers silently kneeling that he felt compelled to… talk throughout the entire anthem.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can’t decide how much worse it is that it’s a high school women’s team

Gumbygirl

Rob! We would never spit on your grave! We will dance on it, like civilized people.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Saving my piss for one of the Trump’s graves (anyone of his close family members will do, including Rescue Dog Ripoff Bitch).

Redshirt

Agent Orange will probably charge admission to piss on his grave.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Speaking of BC (and Canada in general), I watched a 10-episode series called Extreme Frontiers Canada with a dude called Charley Boorman. He travels across Canada from Newfie all the way to Vancouver, visits every province except Nunavut. Pretty cool show. Lots of cussing goes on, so not safe for kids unless you don’t care if they hear “fuck” and “Jesus fuck” and “fucking hell” and “fucking Jesus” and “fucking shit” on the regular.
It’s free on AP. I learned a whole lot about Canada that I never knew or barely remembered from my stamp collecting days. I think bk109 recommended it but can’t remember. Cool show.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B088TWNTL1/ref=atv_dp_season_select_s1

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
bk109

I think I only mentioned their bike trip series, not this … on a related note – thanks for providing something fun and relaxing to watch 🙂
Also – as for the language – I’ve heard some of the words my kiddos learned in the before times (so 2019 :D) and …. well, suffice it to say that I didn’t accidentally cause a traffic accident when my younger kid (in 3rd grade) asked me “What is a taint-splitter anyway?” on our drive back from footy practice 😀

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, now I remember. Can’t stream the Up, Down, or Round series here in the States (not easily for me, anyway). This Extreme Frontiers show has two additional series, one for USA and one for South Africa. No Ewan McGregor, but some cool places visited (in the USA one he spends a couple days at a ranch just up the road from me in Bandera). There’s a couple other shows he’s got on Amazon Prime too (“Race to Dakar” haven’t watched yet, “By Any Means” have watched and dug).

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
bk109

By the way, if you want something else kinda interesting – there’s a channel on youtube that does WW1 and WW2 in real-time in the sense that they do “what happened this week X years ago in WW1 and WW2” 10-20min shows weekly, with supplemental longer vids for extra context (ie tactics and doctrine for the various nations taking part in the Battle of France)
In case you want to give it a try – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT7DezBjzs8
(and they’ve got full playlists for the 1st and 2nd year so far of WW2)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Thanks, will check it out when the opportunity presents itself.

litre_cola

I swear a lot, have had to tone it down quite a bit with Deci around.

Redshirt

So is the Vaccine free or does it cost money? Asked for fellow unemployed deadbeats like me.

bk109

The better question is “will it actually work” and … how long it’ll work for, lol, because apparently the immunity created by these vaccines may last as little as 6 months in real-world conditions (and may be less effective against newer strains)

Dunstan

Pretty sure it’s no out-of-pocket in the U.S. If you have health insurance, they will charge your insurance, but patients will not be charged.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nobody I know that has had it has mentioned a cost, but 75% of those people are on Medicare.

ballsofsteelandfury

I got my first shot and no one asked about insurance. My parents got both and no one asked them either.