Onto the SHAN’KHOR Region’s first round results:

27. “The Stanley Cup is continuing its 53-year boycott of Toronto, if that’s what you mean.” had a bye.

34. “I’m sorry, did someone get addicted to getting every call and break for 20 years?” defeats 10. “If you try to stop it, Marty McSorley appears from out of nowhere and cross-checks you” 23-8

15. “Florida Warden: ‘Hey, you! Get the hell out of this park! You’re not supposed to be here!’ Brady: ‘Don’t You Know Who I Am?!’ Florida Warden: ‘No, not really.’ Brady: [sighs, feels deflated]” had a bye.

33. “[My partner] told me a joke about a dwarf rap[p]elling down the wall of a prison. I didn’t laugh, because it was a little condescending.” defeats 26. “Atalanta Falacons.” 22-9

19. “The protests have reached Cleveland but with the current condition of the city it’ll be social unrest’s first ever beautification riot.” defeats 4. “It’s a bright, shiny Pats-less world and I feel fine.” 27-4

13. “March was the first school-shooting-free month since 2002. DO BETTER, APRIL.” defeats 40. “Gotta think Michigan is tanking for Trevor Lawrence.” 19-11

32. “I’ve seen better tackling at Brad Parscale’s Florida residence.” defeats 42. “THIS WASHINGTON TEAM, I CALL THEM FOIA DOCUMENTS BECAUSE THEY WERE AT LEAST MORE INTERESTING WHEN THEY WERE REDACTED!” 16-14

45. “I’m getting more COVID information from Fantasy Football morning shows than the Trump Administration.” had a bye.

Which gives:

27. “The Stanley Cup is continuing its 53-year boycott of Toronto, if that’s what you mean.” vs. 34. “I’m sorry, did someone get addicted to getting every call and break for 20 years?”

15. “Florida Warden: ‘Hey, you! Get the hell out of this park! You’re not supposed to be here!’ Brady: ‘Don’t You Know Who I Am?!’ Florida Warden: ‘No, not really.’ Brady: [sighs, feels deflated]” vs. 33. “[My partner] told me a joke about a dwarf rap[p]elling down the wall of a prison. I didn’t laugh, because it was a little condescending.”

19. “The protests have reached Cleveland but with the current condition of the city it’ll be social unrest’s first ever beautification riot.” vs. 13. “March was the first school-shooting-free month since 2002. DO BETTER, APRIL.”

32. “I’ve seen better tackling at Brad Parscale’s Florida residence.” vs. 45. “I’m getting more COVID information from Fantasy Football morning shows than the Trump Administration.”

Go vote!