The obvious highlight of the evening will be arguing about who is & isn’t in the NCAA tournament. It will take James Brown & Company about two hours to read off 64 team names, more if they actually have the play-in games HOLY SHIT, they are. The play-in, or “First Four” games are on Thursday, and then the first round goes Friday-Monday. There’s no chance a COVID outbreak doesn’t get brought into the arena by some water boy or one of Indianapolis’ finest mouthbreathing Pence voters.
That would appear to be the most ludicrous proposition of the tournament, but then Michigan State went ahead this week & renamed their program, “MSU Spartans Presented by Rocket Mortgage”, and logo’d up Tom Izzo like a NASCAR driver.
But it’s a fucking sin if the players get paid.
Of course, there are a number of prop bets to be had for such an event:
- How will the NCAA collude to get Duke in?
- It’s been more than 40 years since John Wooden. Why is UCLA considered ‘relevant’?
- Gonzaga vs Notre Dame – who is more Catholic?
No Cameron Crazies? But how will I know the rich are wating their youth?- Never mind – they’ve been ordered to stay on campus.
- Could any of these teams beat the T-wolves?
- Given all the journalists attending, will they run out of gravy in Indianapolis?
- In honour of Seamus – will U*NC have more players on COVID or academic suspension?
- Seriously, how can they have a tourney without Coach K?
All I know is that my arse will be on a couch Friday morning praying there’s a huge upset, so I can hear Hippo gleefully laughing all the way up here in Canada.
Tonight’s sports:
- NCAA:
- Selection show – 6:00pm | CBS
- NHL:
- Toronto vs Ottawa – 7:00pm | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- San Antonio vs Philadelphia – 6:30pm | NBATV / Sportsnet1
- Toronto vs Chicago – 9:00pm | TSN4
- LA Clippers vs New Orleans – 9:00pm | ESPN / Sportsnet1
- Curling:
- Brier Final – 8:30pm | TSN
Get to the bickering!
Me eating Thai food: “It’s papaya salad. How hot can salad be?”
Me soon after:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dOsbsuhYGQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrpXArn3hII
Is it really the First Four without ASU in a play-in game?
It’s cool they have a player named Remy Martin.
They should have another named Busch Ice.
Thanks guys.
What did we do?
Honored my buddy. You’re the best.
Holy fuck just read down. Horrible. This beer is for Grubby.
I burned one for Grubby. And tWBS. Shine on.
Cocktail report:
2 oz. Bombay gin
3/4 oz lemon juice
1/2 oz. St. Germain elderflower liqueur
1/2 oz. Campari
1/2 oz. rosemary simple syrup (just simple syrup with a fresh sprig of rosemary steeped for 30 minutes)
fresh rosemary sprig for garnish
Me likey.
Whole Elderlotta Gin Rosie
I may change the name, but for tonight it’s The Grubby
No argument here. Pound the Grubby.
That’s a nice tribute! I saw earlier on the Gravy, which was fucking outstanding, by the way, a last year comment section that had Seamus in it, hard still to believe he’s gone.
Yeah that sounds excellent
Another variant that works — swap out the St. Germain for Domaine de Canton ginger liqueur, and add a 1/2 oz of Giffard’s Pamplemousse (my new toy — also, I learned that in French, Pamplemousse, aside from being the word for grapefruit, is also a common euphemism for breasts).
I don’t usually believe in putting this many ingredients in a cocktail but I think it works.
I have most of those things!
Let me know if you come up with any improvements! I’m sure that grapefruit juice could sub for the Giffards, though you’d want to reduce the lemon juice
Good god. I looked up that MSU thing.
The violence has to come. We’ve reached the point where they’re just looking you in the eye, picking your pocket and rubbing their disgusting hands with filthy fingertips up your wife’s cootch, and giving you a shit eating ‘why even bother complaining? There will never be anything you can do — and you know it and I know it and the lady I’m carving an infection into right now knows it.”
What happened?
/ reads article
Oh, the usual.
EXACTLY!
It’s so bald-faced I’m actually kind of impressed. It’s the NCAA meets The Wolf of Wall Street.
Hot Fuzz is such a fun movie
Yes, everyone should see it for the greater good.
The greater good
The Grammys
Now THAT’s a joke.
What did Bill Burr do? He’s trending on twitter for some reason
Without looking, I’m guessing he said something DARING that has the SNOWFLAKES trying to CANCEL him.
(I think Burr is talented and enjoy some of his stuff, but I wish he’d not base his entire routine around this shtick.)
I believe he announced the winner of one of the Latin categories and butchered the names because GET IT THE NAMES ARE FUNNY HA HA
He can be funny, but I find him to be mostly a choad. (chode?)
“But Bill has clearly said that he likes fucking Latina women, so he clearly can’t be prejudiced!”
With all the nobodies making up this year’s bracket, I expected Dartmouth Regional Vocational School to at least get a play in game.
I’m just here for the upsets that fuck over everyone’s brackets
0 lies: the White Whale of a boxing promoter.
“Go flick yourself”? Wait, is he saying that they’re a bunch of boogers?
You ain’t no real promoter until you’ve manslaughtered someone.
That most recent edit? That was me, updating to reflect the fact that DUKE WON’T BE PLAYING IN THE POSTSEASON THIS YEAR.
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_Duke_Blue_Devils_men%27s_basketball_seasons&action=history
Wait, the committee didn’t bullshit a way for them to play?
Nope, and they turned their nose up at the NIT.
NO LONGER THE DARKEST TIMELINE!
Thanks Byedon
Hey! Could youze guys pour one out for my friend, Grubby? Died yesterday after a Percocet he’d bought for his back pain turned out to be Fentanyl. Hooray American health care! Anyway, he was fat, could cook like a summamuhbitch, and could take a punch like Marvin fucking Hagler. There’s a manhunt going on right now for the motherless fuck who poisoned him, but shit, our friend is never gonna be not dead, so who gives a shit, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt5OZJ1LrbQ
Absolutely. That is fucking rough.
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that. Sorry for your loss, and fuck that skunk who poisoned him.
This beer is for Grubby.
[pours one out]
Done and double done…
Fuck man. Sorry to hear.
Fuck that guy. I hope they get him
Fuck dude, that’s horrible. Sorry to hear that.
Always.
Sorry, that sucks. Happened to a guy I went to high school with. PSA: There have been zero recorded deaths from marijuana overdoses.
“CHALLENGE ACCEPTED” — 90% of DFO
Oh believe me, I have tried!
Sorry brother Fronk. This one’s for Grubby.
And fentanyl dealers can just go to all the hells.
Just got here now. My God, my sincere condolences. I wish I could do more; hang in there.
NIT Selection Show TIME!!!
NC State is IN, Dook is OUT
Nits!
Forgot it was pi day but pretty pleased with the donuts we picked up.
We just got back from a doughnut run. For those familiar, Honeys in North.vancouver
I got a couple of fruit-filled tacos, by which I mean hand pies.
ah don’t think teh Dr. Mrs. wud approve of yew stickin’ your hands in multiple pies
Is that what we’re calling goatse these days?
Look, it would be rude not to eat her pie.
hopefully not flaky
Related:
Fruit sandwiches? – The Maestro
A regular pie is a fruit sandwich. A hand pie is a fruit taco.
Which by his definition is a sandwich as well. An ethnic sandwich.
Even Fallout 4 is chiming in on this nonsense:
See my definition of an ethnic sandwich is a bit different. Like a Heather Chandler / Veronica Sawyer sort of thing. But, you know, one of them is Turkish and the other is Colombian.
Your ideas are intriguing to me. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
One of the more successful seasons for Baylor, in that no one has murdered a teammate.
Or raped a coed.
Of course, no one has been on campus for awhile, so….
No REPORTED rapes = no problems in Waco!
/still, they’ll be the good guys against U*NC
Still the second-worst thing to happen in Waco, behind the Baylor athletic program.
Weren’t they all a bunch of cultists? I’m not sure that’s a big loss…
Yeah. Cultists are kind of already dead when they wake up every morning.
Meh. Both are waaaay behind Fixer Upper. Shiplap is the devil’s decor!
“Mastering The Bubble: The Gut-Wrenching Story of SillyCuse These Last Few Years.”
They got in, but drawing San Diego didn’t do them any favoUrs.
Bet the under in that fixture, whatever it may be.
Mark Few talking about how they’re just blessed to be there and have an “attitude of gratitude”, and now I just want them to get smoked in the first round.
You should get Western Washington TV affiliates……
Just taking it day by day and celebrating every victory we get, no matter how small.
Gonzaga is an AA meeting.
As opposed to the DD meeting currently taking place at Gazongas U.
I bet Gazongas U has a prickly Dean who needs to be taken down.
Are you sure he didn’t say they have an “attitude of RAT-itude” and are going to emulate Coach K’s teams?
University of Hartford finally makes it to the tournament, and it’s the year everyone’s locked in hotels in Indianapolis, the Hartford of the Mid-West.
Fat Hartford.
Hart(disease)ford
Top 5 footy scarves I own is the Hartford one you sent! Go U of H fighting…… Hawks?!
That’s right, the Hartford Hawks! My mom was a professor there for a little while.
I “studied” for the bar on their “campus”
Taysom Hill, Saints agree on a four-year, $140 million extension, freeing up $7.5M in cap space, per report – CBSSports.com
BWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAa!
But Jameis is believed to be the number 1
Jesus, that is a terrible contract.
“Are you listening, Jesus?”
—Tim Tebow
So which of the First Four Teams out are gonna send a bunch of COVID-19 Positive Prostitutes to one of the teams that made the Dance?
Louisville. Clearly the most experienced at this sort of thing.
Clark Kellogg barely speaks English. Why is he still employed in broadcasting?
There’s only one team I have to hate-vengeance root against, and they’d play the best team in the country in Round 2.
Now let’s see who’s in the “holding pen” of first 4 out!
NAWT DOOK WOO!!!!!
Duke will be an 8 seed (not watching the selection)
Ohio State basketball team is getting Oral? I thought they closed the 8th Floor to the Main Library because of that.
OSU always gets oral from the media.
At least until they play a SEC school, the media goes home to daddy.
Hopefully Dickie V. finally has that aneurysm which finally kills him during a game I am watching. He is on the list of people I want to see dead before I eventually die myself.
That would be awesome baby!
Even better as he is calling a Duke game and is during his usual Coach K ball gargling.
He’s been on 1 minute and is ball-gargling the committee, although to give him some credit he then criticized them for leaving out Belmont.
Why are they still calling Directional quadrants if they’re playing in one city? They can use the Interstates that go into Indianapolis (65, 69, 70, 74) and use the Destination Cities as the 1st and 2nd rounds games so it feels as normal as possible (Chicago, Louisville, Evansville, Ft. Wayne, St. Louis, Dayton, Peoria, Cincinnati).
they know how Murrikans feel about change?
But we could’ve had a 69 Quadrant! With all the shit we’ve gone through, we all needed that.
Do you really want to see anything associated with a 69 in Indianapolis?
Next, on Gravy Or Doo-doo Butter!
Based on the slow-ass-shit construction of I-69 from Evansville, INDOT doesn’t.
I am amazed they are actually going to have an interstate designated that. Did Trump have Gronk appointed as some sort of transportation secretary?
I know. It matches the proper format (odd number=north/south, inbetween 65 and 75 (at least until they decided to send it to Texas)), but 67 and 73 were available.
Huzzah, U*NC gets an ejector seat!
Drew Brees retires after 20 seasons in NFL: ‘This is not goodbye, rather a new beginning’ – CBSSports.com
Much like what he proved with teammates kneeling for the anthem, he is continuing to show he don’t understand the concept of “right time and right place”.
Is Fox news going to have him host a sports segment?
They’ll probably hire him as a financial wizard to take Lou Dobbs’ place over at Fox Business News.
Is he still involved with Advo? Because if so, perfect fit.
That’s what I was thinking of…
Give us a #1 vs #1 First Four Game, you cowards!!!
Would be nice if they just seeded by blind draw, like the FA Cup
I was hoping OSU/Illinois would’ve gone to OT2 so the entire country would’ve had to wait to see who would be seeded #2 and #3.
Another reminder: today is Pi(e) Day!
I would post my contribution to Pie Day, but per current NSFW policy, it is verboten.
“I don’t think there’s a better city than Indianapolis to host the entire Tournament. There is always civic pride with the city.”
I have to disagree on this one. When I drive up there from Cincinnati, its like there is no suburbs and it goes from rural to urban as soon as you reach the city bypass. Almost as if Interstate 74 itself is embarrassed to be associated with Indianapolis.
also its hardley Wichita amirite???
All I can really remember about my travels up US 31 from IND to Grissom Air Reserve Base was that half the billboards were sponsored by churches and religious organizations. The boot of Jesus rests heavily upon the neck of rural Indiana.
Indiana country is basically Ohio and Kentucky country, except without Ohio’s peacefulness and Kentucky’s beauty
Coach K is Q-Anon ,, suck it libtards!!!!11111
When you realize he’s got every single letter in the alphabet in his last name *except* Q, it should have been obvious that it was him all along.
dUe teh mAthS
Never thought I would be a position to defend Q-Anon, but the 20s is already one fucked up decade.