INT. FREIGHT TRAIN BOXCAR – DAY

A pair of men are lounging on piles of straw inside of a boxcar.  The train is moving slowly – no more than twenty miles per hour – and the car is rocking gently back and forth.

JIM TOMSULA: What did I tell you, buddy?  Just like a crib.

PRODUCER: Hot damn, you were correct.  I just wish you’d been as right when you told me I’d be able to keep down those freshwater clams.

TOMSULA: You still hungry?  I got a couple of crab apples here somewhere.

JIM TOMSULA begins rummaging around in the hay surrounding his thighs.

PRODUCER: Um, maybe later.  I’m just happy to be able to get comfortable for a bit.  It’s not as comfy as that mattress we dragged aboard on the Witchita run, but this straw is getting the job done.

The producer stops for a moment and makes a funny face.  He then erupts in an enormous sneeze.

PRODUCER: Could do without the hay fever, though.

TOMSULA: Ironically, hay fever isn’t actually caused by hay!  There’s the little tiny creatures that…

PRODUCER: Yes, yes, they’re called bacteria, I know…

TOMSULA: Huh?  No, the bacteria are the good guys.  The little buggers causing the hay fever are called femptobots.

PRODUCER: The Austin Powers thing?

TOMSULA: No, no, fempt-o-bots.  Like nanobots, but a lot smaller.  See, originally the nanobots were at war with the picobots, and they tried to develop their own nanobots – relatively speaking, you know – to infect the picobots as a bioweapon – but they’re all robots, so less bio and more robo, you know – but they got out of control and infected humans instead.  The bacteria eat ’em up pretty good but you gotta keep your flora in balance.

PRODUCER: Oh, so that’s why you were soaking all your clothes in that pool of rusty water at the last switching yard.

TOMSULA: [beaming] Yep.  Tetanus gets a bad rap but it ain’t so bad if you keep it on the right side of your skin. Seems like you’re finally seeing the light!

PRODUCER: [apprehensively] Maybe, but…

TOMSULA: Shh!  It’s time!

JIM TOMSULA pulls a device out of the hay, extends the antenna, and fiddles with the tuning dial.

DJ 3000: …AND TODAY’S THEME IS “SEEING THE LIGHT”.  WE’RE LOOKING FOR SONGS ABOUT “THE LIGHT” – IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE IN THE TITLE, IT JUST HAS TO BE A BIG PART OF THE SONG.  I’LL GET US STARTED WITH A STANDOUT FROM THE BLUES BROTHERS MOVIE – THOUGHT TO BE HONEST THEY WERE ALL STANDOUTS.  ENJOY!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTIEKDabSEo