Request Line: Songs from a Small Island

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are lounging around in an office, reading over a marketing report.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: …and so what’s this bit about banana cake?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Oh, that’s kind of a buzzword right now among fútbol fans.

DTZM: Football doesn’t start for another two months.

RTD: No, fut-bol.  Like “boot”.

DTZM: Oh, you mean like Canadian football.

RTD: No, soccer.  But speaking of Canadia, they just had a big holiday yesterday and all their churches are catching on fire, maybe it would be a nice gesture to dedicate this week’s Request Line to them.

DTZM: A three hour playlist of nothing but Rush and Bryan Adams?  No thank you.  But you know, there’s another country that’s got a big weekend coming up, you might remember them from a little something called “The Revolutionary War”…

RTD: Of, of course!  I even have the perfect host in mind, we were going to call him about starring in that period piece set in the rural Midwest.

DTZM: The My Antonia adaptation?

RTD: Stop calling it that, we don’t have the rights.  You wanna get sued?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY pulls out his cellphone, then punches numbers into the speakerphone.

— [speakerphone flies open] —

JASON STATHAM: OY! WOT’S ALL THIS, THEN?

RTD: Jason, baby, it’s Rikki-Tikki-Deadly, with DFO Productions.  What’s my favorite action movie star up to?

JASON STATHAM: I’M WATCHIN’ THE FOOTY, INNIT?

RTD: [aside, to DTZM] The Euro soccer tournament is happening right now. [to STATHAM] IT’S COMIN’ HOME, INNIT?

JASON STATHAM: IT’S COMIN’ HOME!

RTD: [shouting] IT’S COMIN’ HOME!

JASON STATHAM: IT’S COMIN’ HOME, INNIT? WHAT DO YOU [REDACTEDS] WANT?

RTD: Jason, it’s a big weekend for England, what with Wimbledon and England’s big game against Ukraine tomorrow.  We thought we’d dedicate this week’s edition of Request Line to England and were hoping you could get things started.

JASON STATHAM: OY! RIGHT! I GOT A SONG FOR YA, INNIT? [to the tune of “doo dah”] ♫ POSH SPICE TAKES IT UP THE…♫

DTZM: [interrupting] Actually, we were looking for songs that specifically about the country of England.

JASON STATHAM: LIKE, THE QUEEN AND ALL THAT?

DTZM: Quite, quite.

JASON STATHAM: “Quite”? HE SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THEM POSH FUCKERS, INNIT?

RTD: OY! RIGHT!

JASON STATHAM: OW’S ABOUT SOME OLD BILLY BRAGG?

RTD: OY! CRACKING! SIRI, YOU RIGHT [REDACTED], PLAY “A NEW ENGLAND” BY BILLY BRAGG

Today’s theme is “England”.  We’re looking for songs specifically about the country of England and its people (including its leadership).  Have at it!

 

 

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives

Bit o’ Toad in the Hole, then.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl5EzH8FfIU

BeefReeferLives
Horatio Cornblower

/Phone Rings in the DFO Clubhouse:
//Horatio picks up the phone
H’llo
Collect Ouija-Board call from tWBS, will you accept the charges?
Horatio: (thinking) Well, I know Green Day isn’t British, so how bad could it be? (out loud) Yeah, sure what the hell.
tWBS: Hey man, love to tell you all about the Afterlife but first could you play Garbage?
Horatio: Probably inevitable given it’s your musical draft choice.
tWBS: Har-de-har-har funny guy. Think you’ll like Hell? Anyway, I meant Garbage the band. Shirley Manson’s in it, and it always rains in England, so it fits.
Horatio: Sure, man, I’ll put it in. Hey! What was that about Hell!?
tWBS: -click-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj20VhQ5oas

Viva La Tabula Raza
Horatio Cornblower

Doesn’t get more English than a band from England using Western music to create violence in Asia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSF0p3i_hkE

Gumbygirl

Thruppence and sixpence
https://youtu.be/TmfQQC1bsf4

BeefReeferLives

& the L@L version. Jolly good show!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

London is even in the first line!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1yA1Kq3uvk

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

As a kid I hated The Beatles but loved ELO. So dumb that I couldn’t figure out the former’s overwhelming influence on the latter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up4WjdabA2c&ab_channel=ELOVEVO

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
Viva La Tabula Raza

I think I had every single ELO 8-track release between Eldorado through Discovery. What the fuck was that Xanadu shit, though? They lost me there. Did not forgive Jeff Lynne for a few years, at least until Wilburys.

Viva La Tabula Raza

 I couldn’t figure out the latter’s overwhelming influence on the former

I’d have thought it was the other way around?

scotchnaut

I fixed it just now.

Horatio Cornblower

Not a song, but very much about England (Church of)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVH0gZO5lq0

Gumbygirl

Eddie Izzard iz always appropriate!

Gumbygirl

A little Cromwell would be cromulent
https://youtu.be/LrjHz5hrupA

Viva La Tabula Raza

I spent a weekend at a buddy’s home in St Ives, the one where Cromwell was born. Those old timey towns are so cool.

Gumbygirl

Did you meet a man with 7 wives?

Viva La Tabula Raza

No but my buddy had 7 varieties of single malt on hand. Probably even more…

Horatio Cornblower

Since Scotchy took ‘London Calling’ early, deservedly so, I will look elsewhere

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96UtZPLiT90

Gumbygirl

Apparently this was a tribute to John Lennon
https://youtu.be/ejw_LOi-nhk

Viva La Tabula Raza

Now that is fucking awesome. Never heard of.

Gumbygirl

What can a poor boy do?
https://youtu.be/BUt0dZXPFoU

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nitpicking asshole says: That song was about the riots in Paris in summer 1968.

Gumbygirl

He is from sleepy London town, which is no place for a street fighting man. He went to Paris to raise a ruckus!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Point conceded.

scotchnaut

I’ve been told that Liverpool was London-adjacent. Love the langourness (not a word-yet!) that informs this tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj7OJeyhq2Q&ab_channel=TheBanglesVEVO

SonOfSpam

Dammit, good pull.

Dunstan

Originally by Katrina and the Waves

scotchnaut

Let’s pretend Echo Beach is somewhere in England. (I drove my fellow basketball teammates crazy by repeating the refrain at the end of this tune over and over and over again-THAT WAS THE POINT!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpqDTQOFvf0&ab_channel=EmiRecordsItaly

Viva La Tabula Raza

Cool band, until they lost their magical abilities and drowned in sunshine.

Gumbygirl

I just logged in here to play this song, get outta mahead!

Viva La Tabula Raza

For many years, Egypt was part of the British Empire.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv6tuzHUuuk

Horatio Cornblower

Two pages already? I’m not scrolling through all that; I’ll just Blair Witch this shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbmWs6Jf5dc

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t think anyone posted God Save the Queen, either.
Edit: I was wrong about God Save the Queen. it was done very early.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
BeefReeferLives

That was the 1st post..

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think I’m justified in calling the 1st post “very early.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just have to stay away from The Kinks discography. It’s like dynamiting fish at the base of the dam.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRUE0aAI5o8

Viva La Tabula Raza

Shall we joomp across the Oirish Sea for a moment?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MuhFxaT7zo

SonOfSpam

(to whoever it was in the last post) no, THIS is Madness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW_0CM6CgCM&ab_channel=sid3231

Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

No offense, but I would maim every one of you to have Sinatra’s voice (I mean from when he was alive, not now)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hTsUwmXavk&ab_channel=Deuk

BeefReeferLives

Didja ever read “The Godfather” (with the stuff about Johnny Fontaine / Frank Sinatra’s vocal chord surgery)? Kinda interesting.

SonOfSpam

Have not read that. Will endeavour to do that, thanks for the rec,

BeefReeferLives

Yeah, apparently ‘ol blue eyes didn’t take to some of the things that “Johnny Fontaine” did, and publicly berated Puzo.. Heh heh…

Anyway, lots of fun stuff in the book that didn’t make it into the film.

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

I read Puzo’s books. He’s a bit of a hack, though I did find the novels entertaining. I remember the three-word book review of “Fools Die” in Rolling Stone: “And fools buy.”

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
BeefReeferLives

Yeah, I tried reading one of his other books (Omerta, I think). Got about 30 pages in and put it right back down… Liked The Godfather though. Prolly because I liked the film so much..

BeefReeferLives

Well, that and the bits about Lucy Mancini’s ridiculously cavernous vagina. That was kinda interesting…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Speaking of Elvis Costello…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_x_bSUqpfA

scotchnaut

Did Simply Red tie together Reagan and Thatcher’s assault on the poor in a song? Yeah, they did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrUB0g8Vjgg&ab_channel=SimplyRed

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm
SonOfSpam

Joe Jackson is great. The music guy, not Michael’s abusive dad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNoOLCsqNTE&ab_channel=JoeJacksonVEVO

Viva La Tabula Raza

He sure didn’t fit the mold of his era’s pop/rock stars. Same vibe as Elvis Costello, at least for me…

SonOfSpam

something something Blair Witch

Viva La Tabula Raza

Missed it’s previous posting during my original scroll-through. Happens sometimes.

Gumbygirl

So nice, you played it twice!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Should have posted it eight times, to match the song title.

Dunstan