Request Line: Weekend At Zuernie’s – Part 4 (Wardrobe)

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are still – unbelievably – hard at work in their office.  One – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is standing in front of a rack of clothing, pawing through a series of Hawaiian shirts and pulling the occasional one out to set aside into a growing pile.  The other – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is seated at the desk with a box full of sunglasses, trying each of them on in turn and inspecting himself in a mirror flecked with white powder on his desk.  A third person in the office is standing very stiffly with his arms spread wide, looking extremely uncomfortable as an androgynous-looking fourth person – a TAILOR – measures his inseam.  The TAILOR finishes up, makes a final note in a little book, nods to the producers, and departs.

COLE BEASLEY: [looking after the departed TAILOR] Was that a boy or a girl?

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: [without looking up] Yes.

COLE BEASLEY: Kinda feel a little violated.  Like I need to take a shower, ya know?

RTD: Agreed.

DTZM: Yes, it would be excellent if you would do that.

RTD: Make it a regular thing, even.

COLE BEASLEY: [settles back down on the couch and resumes tossing the football to himself] I can’t believe how much work goes into making a movie.  You guys have been pickin’ out clothes for two straight days now.

DTZM: And it’s not even a period piece.

RTD: I mean it’s sort of a period piece.

COLE BEASLEY: Wait, what?

RTD: Fashion in Cape Cod hasn’t really advanced beyond the eighties.

DTZM: Cole, you should hang onto some of this stuff after we wrap, it’ll be an upgrade.

COLE BEASLEY: [looks himself over] What’s wrong with my clothes?

RTD: [smiles gently] I think maybe it’s time to retire those shorts.

DTZM: Are those things made out of…is that…canvas?

COLE BEASLEY: Does burlap count as canvas?

RTD: Let’s say yes.  Anyhow…[holds up a pair of shirts towards DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS]…these are my favorites so far, what do you think?

— [door flies open] —

DTZM: Surfin’ Jack!

RTD: Oh good, you got our message.  Thanks for coming by.

JACK DEL RIO: This better be important, I had to skip Mike Lindell’s final presentation for this.

COLE BEASLEY: Oh, was he finally going to produce the evidence?

JACK DEL RIO: He was!  And this time it’s gonna be the real thing.  Reinstatement should happen in two weeks.

COLE BEASLEY: I thought it was gonna happen today!

JACK DEL RIO: No cause they need final confirmation of the RKM packets from the routers.

COLE BEASLEY: From Arizona?

JACK DEL RIO: And the ones from Wisconsin, too.

COLE BEASLEY: Oh, I can’t wait.

JACK DEL RIO: It’s gonna be so good.  

JACK DEL RIO puts his hands on his hips and looks around the office.

JACK DEL RIO: Actually, I’ve been meaning to drop by and talk to you two.  I’m still waiting on my residuals for “That’s My Raiders!”

DTZM: [deflecting] Aren’t we all, buddy.

RTD: Hey, what’s with the mask?  I thought you were telling people that COVID is a hoax?

JACK DEL RIO: It is!  But now I gotta deal with you Hollywood fuckers who took that [makes air quotes gesture] “vaccine” shedding all those Wuhan virus particles.

DTZM: Particles of a virus that’s a hoax.

JACK DEL RIO: That’s right.

JACK DEL RIO breaks out coughing.  DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS and RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY hurriedly don their own masks.

RTD: You know, you’re right, maybe it’s safer if everybody just wears a mask.

DTZM: Can’t hurt, right?

JACK DEL RIO: Why the hell am I here, anyhow?

RTD: We gotta get you fitted for costuming.

DTZM: [punches intercom] Traycee, can you call Adrian and ask him…uh…her? [glances at RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY, who shrugs] to come back – we’ve got a little more work for them to do.

RTD: In the meantime, why don’t we listen to a little music?

DTZM: Ooh, good idea.  Let’s do songs about clothing and accessories.

RTD: Sounds good.  But who plays music about that kind of stuff?

DTZM: [holds Apple Watch up to his mouth] SIRI, play anything by ZZ Top.

—

Today’s theme is: Clothing and Accesories! We’re looking for songs about clothing, accessories, or fashion in general.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNd!3W4!5h and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  

ED. NOTE: Did nobody get the puzzle song of “7+4_11uV!a” last week?  It was a tough one.  The answer was “11_lluvia” which of course refers to the 11th month – November Rain.