Special Edition Request Line: Their Just Reward

As most of you know, Request Line is an offseason feature, to help us outlast the drudgery that takes place from February through August. Once in a blue moon, however, there comes such a day that demands a special edition.

Today is one of such days.

I’ve been tracking the deaths of prominent antivaxxers (and some not-so-prominent ones as well). The grandfather of them all was Herman Cain, who scoffed at the dangers of coronavirus to enjoy a (sparsely) attended political rally in Tulsa. He caught coronavirus, went on a ventilator, and died. Didn’t stop tweeting that the virus wasn’t dangerous, though.  Local activist Laura Zuern served as the inspiration for the Weekend at Zuernie’s series. Dick Farrel, Phil Valentine and Marc Bernier get to shake hands with their idol Rush Limbaugh now.  Q-Anon proponent Veronica Wolski now has a pair of eyes in the sky of her very own.  And this brings us to second-tier radio host Bob Enyart.

Bob catapulted to almost-fame by reading the obituaries of gay men who had died from AIDS to the soundtrack of Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”.  People like Bob Enyart were the reason I developed homophobic attitudes when I was young.  Modeling the behavior of bigots like him led me to do and say things in my adolescence that still bring me great shame to this very day.  Later, Bob was charged and convicted of child abuse. He called for women who had abortions to face the death penalty.  Most recently, Bob called for people to refuse vaccination shots because he claimed the vaccines were tested on the cells of aborted fetuses.  He sued the state of Colorado over coronavirus-related restrictions on church attendance.  Despite being unvaccinated, Bob Enyart trusted his God and his unprepared immune system to protect him from the most dangerous virus the world has seen in over a hundred years, and blithely engaged in many activities that would be considered “dangerous” for an aging, overweight, goatee-wearing individual such as himself.

So what’s Bob Enyart up to now?

Tell ’em, boys:

Today’s Request Line is dedicated to the willfully unvaccinated members of our society.  You’re encouraged to post songs to celebrate their obstinacy, their stupidity, their embrace of quack cures, and their abject refusal to engage in practices that will make life safer for their fellow members of society should those practices cause them even the slightest bit of inconvenience.  These songs go out to the willfully unvaccinated who have died, are dying, or will die.

So long, Bob. You spent your life selling hatred, and given that your widow or the children you beat haven’t put up a Gofundme page begging for pennies to defray your burial expenses, it seems like you made a pretty good living at it.  Rot in hell for all eternity, you irredeemable piece of shit.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Idiot Wind is what he could no longer get in and out of his lungs at the end, amirite

https://youtu.be/Ex05XUddWMk

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Get what you give is close enough to reap what you sow

https://youtu.be/DL7-CKirWZE

Dunstan

I just saw on Twitter that “Norm Macdonald” is “Trending with: Turd Ferguson,” and I literally laughed out loud.

SonOfSpam

This is about nuclear destruction, but let’s pretend it’s a MAGA rally.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs&ab_channel=TheTomLehrerWisdomChannel

SonOfSpam

You know how some rappers, you look at em and go, eh they’re probably soft as hell (Vanilla Ice for one)? This is not the case with Onyx.

SonOfSpam

Yes, can’t think of any other black rock. OH WAIT Living Colour.

SonOfSpam

(Bob Enyart is decidedly NOT headed for a better place)

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

A bit on the nose, but still

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee_uujKuJMI

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

“Wish I coulda seen it.”

D. Favre

Anthony In TX

comment image&ct=g

Anthony In TX

This is my favorite spam email I’ve ever received:
Greetings,
The another position of Parcel Host of our purveyance team was revealed. Our comradeship offers a pleasant salary ‘n’ practice package to receive you as a teammate of our firm’s well-operating & very much active biz.
We uncovered yours data on account of the CareerBuilder online space and judge that thy workmanship can be highly beneficial for the company. If only you’re trembling about our company’s suggestion, please, do not hesitate to send an e-mail to our management so our camaraderie’s Human Resource leaders could be able to point out you upward appointment’s description.
Money gratification: $4,000 a 1 month.
This bidding for workers which could operate from house. If ya’ll may afford to materially make work in thine house from nine AM to 5 PM, ye may make moneys. The nature of our association’s position is to work with boxes. What is included into UR direct duties: accept packs out of 1 person, change the pack for them according our specs, and to transmit batches to some other places. Thou will seem an immaculate worker at described function if you are a young mother, a undergraduate of outlying technique of education, ex-service, disabled subject, or the fellow which repulsed about the fact of the need to go out of apartment to perform business.
Ya’ll shall not be constrained to transact with heavy-weight packages. Mainly, you’ll find dress or baubles inside the consignments. Training is supplied without payment from your side. Everything you all demand to be employed by our biz is a PC, access to the online net, and printer to be capable of printing papers. How much money thou will receive relies upon exceptionally on you all – the more time ya’ll function, the larger you all obtain. On average, folks which just launch functioning for our community receive near 1000 dollars per week.
Are you interested in our suggestion? Then feel free to give a letter to our team via online mail. And remember about staying at apartment from 9.00 to 5 o’clock PM is a must to be able to be employed to the mentioned position (in another case, the post is not for ya’ll, unluckily).

SonOfSpam

It’s impossible to read this without imagining some kind of thick accent.

Anthony In TX

You will be unsurprised to learn that the email came from “Marko Draganovski.”

SonOfSpam

QAnonUEENS of the Stone Age

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHDaKtx6bGY

Anthony In TX

Wonder if this dude is vaccinated or relying on his immune system and prayer warriors?
https://twitter.com/Smiling_Trina/status/1437790905700864006?s=20

Anthony In TX

I guess it’s good he was removed, but how the hell did he get in and set up like this to begin with?
https://twitter.com/LACountyRRCC/status/1437819204107862016?s=20

SonOfSpam

It’s West Hollywood. He’s a pole worker all right.

Anthony In TX

Its the

reports that other workers had previously counseled him on this

that really sticks out to me. He was told and he said “fuck all y’all” and it took a tweet to get him tossed.

Dunstan
Dunstan
SonOfSpam

How great is this song?

The answer is: Really fucking great.

SonOfSpam

Plus this song is good for tucking.

Dunstan

My reaction every time one of these assholes gets Rod and Todded:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsaTElBljOE

SonOfSpam
Last edited 3 years ago by SonOfSpam
Brick Meathook

Norm Macdonald died today. That sucks.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
Dunstan

Scammers, thieves, and con artists? Sounds like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24mqb-IAHfo

Anthony In TX

https://youtu.be/VMCrXYz4HDE

Every bitter night into an empty room I plead my case
Every night I pray that in the morning when I wake
I’ll be in a familiar place and find that I’m recovered and I’m sane
And I’ll remember everything
I’ll remember what I was like before that bug bit me

Cuntler

Tell ’em, Rev. Gary Davis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXPh7EbB1Tw&ab_channel=Shroomeryslearyfan

Smell ya later, Bob. Smell ya later forever.

Gumbygirl

Here’s a great one from Gumby
https://youtu.be/Ve3fcInpKj0

Gumbygirl
Sharkbait
Game Time Decision

I think it’s only fitting to Blair Witch this for him, now that he’s been Rod and Todded

https://youtu.be/rY0WxgSXdEE

Brick Meathook

I don’t know if I posted this one before but it has been heavily rewritten, and I like it:

************

Here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore you.

This is the “hall of mirrors” story.

We were a “northern boat” trained and designed to operate in the upper North Atlantic and Arctic Oceans.

Sometimes our boat would have ice in it, but that’s a different story.
So on our 40 day patrol we would leave King’s Bay Georgia and hit our dive point and head north. That’s where we wanted to be.

The Gulf Stream is a very warm ocean current that flows up the Atlantic seaboard all the way to England. The Labrador current flows south from Canada and is ice cold, and the two currents meet off of Newfoundland, where my mother is from, and the two currents would swirl together.

But this is the “sweet spot” for a submarine. This is the hall of mirrors.

We were being tracked by five different navies, and we could outsmart every single one of them.

Surface ships could only track us by sound, primarily engine noise. So we would get in the Labrador/Gulf mix (warm and cold) and all underwater sound waves went haywire, to our advantage.

In the “hall of mirrors” the sound would be deflected (or “bent”) due to drastic temperature and salinity changes and interfaces. We constantly measured this, and we could find all the favorable inversions due to the small sensors we were constantly and quietly firing out.

Acoustically, to the surface ships, nothing was what it seemed to be.

Can you hear us? Do you think we are over here? No, we’re actually over there.

The sound would bend, just like in a hall of mirrors. They never knew where we were.

Meanwhile, we are downstairs drinking coffee and watching movies. We knew what we were doing.

But we knew where they were, and believe you me we were locked on to them with our 48s (Mk 48 torpedoes).

Anthony In TX

This is an excellent choice

Gumbygirl
Sharkbait
Senor Weaselo

Did someone say DOUBLE SHOT of poison?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgnhVcyLy1I