Welcome to Week 1 of another season of [DFO]’s Quotables. For those of you who are new to this #interactivecontent, it’s easy. Submissions are provided below each week. Add your tag in the comments (either copy-paste the associated image or just make it otherwise clear what you’re being funny/witty/depressing/etc about) and we’ll roll out the results post later this week.
I don’t know what else to add to this because, as is the case with free agent Tim Tebow, this team isn’t about me. So we’ll shoot for Friday results but I always forget what the schedule is when we start each season but I’m sure the powers that be around here will fit in I don’t know. Doesn’t matter, no one cares. So please see below for your Week 1 Quotables submissions.
This is the Defense’s way of signalling they want Nagy to Open it up for Fields to start
“I could have made a play for Gisele but didn’t want to distract Tom”
No one tried to drink it, i call bullshit that this was a REDACTEDs game
WHY CAN’T I STAY WITH YOU IN THAT HEISMAN HOUSE FROM THE COMMERCIALS WHILE MY DEATHSTAR IS BEING FINISHED?
I’d make a joke but these illiterates wouldn’t be able to read it anyway
I know I’ve only been married for two days, but these don’t look like loving WAGs
I doubt think you can beat the caption Blax put in for the masseuses. That’s fucking perfect.
Do you expect me to talk, Mr. Davis?
No, Mr. Woodson, I expect you to die!
!tcerroc era eW !tcerroc era eW
ASU! ASU!
.aedi ym elotS .hctib a fo noS
I wanted to be an influencer, but the market turned me into a superspreader
Tithe ain’t about 10%! Ot 15, or 20, it’s about your commitment to The Lord. Amen? Amen IS RIGHT! Let’s do 30, 40% praise Jeebus.
Fun fact: A group of Raiders fans is called a “knifing”
Damnit.
(Google image search: clap)
Hasn’t been a sewage flow like that in Washington since Trump had a couple hookers in the Lincoln Bedroom.
2 in the pink, 1 in the stink?! I say fuck that shit! It’s four and two and don’t you let her forget it!
The Parler shareholders meeting was in Vegas?
THIS GUY BOB KRAFT, I CALL VICTORY FORMATION BECAUSE HE’S GONNA HAVE A HAPPY ENDING AFTER THE GAME!
“You didn’t get the undercoating on that new car? Are you stupid? In Detroit? You always spend the money on the undercoating. Always!”
A more apt metaphor for Team’s season doesn’t exist.
Do Bears shit on the field? Yes. Yes they do.
Dammit, I was trying to come up with a “shit in the woods” joke. Well done.
PA Announcer: “In recognition of all our first responders and health care workers, the Texans (?) organization is proud to announce our ‘Handies for Heroes’ program, sponsored by Watson…the IBM one, not that other one.”
Man, getting into Hamid Karzai International Airport looks like a real hassle.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“This opening night win is something they can never take away from us, Charles.”
“Unless you kill your wife and a waiter, in which case…”
Excellent Norm reference
“And *I* say that Haydn’s work is derivative of Bach’s baroque style.”
Definitely had to double check the username
What do you mean you left the oven on when we left?
I told you to do it
Goddamm it you had one thing to do
[sees drawing of a syringe]
“Yes, I would like some of your Jesus, please.” – Todd Marinovich
THIS COACH [which coach is this?] I CALL HIM DANIEL OF BABYLON CAUSE HE IS TALKING SHIT RIGHT TO THE FACE OF A LION AND IS TOTALLY GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
“I wish the bears would have paid this little attention to me when I was down.” – Timothy Treadwell
THAT’S RIGHT, SPAM, I’M COMIN’ FOR YOU.
Yeah, that’s a fucking winner. Gotta up my game.
With the way he’s moving those hips, Bob Kraft looks like he might have learned a move or two from DeShaun Watson.
“Mr. Davis, look, you HAVE OPTIONS with your hairstyle.”
And you thought the NFL left its raw sewage problems behind when the Raiders moved away from Oakland…
You know the turf sucks at FedEx field when even the stadium pisses on it.
“They should call this book ‘Johnny Comorbidity’.”
Future Rod and Todders
