All words that follow belong to Scotchy, by the magick of e-mail (the Aqib Talib pic is based on Hippo’s joy at the new announcer pairing).

Many, many thanks to Hippo for helping things along as I (and Rikki) try to sort out what the banana is going on with my pooter.

To The Games!

Minny vs. Arizony:

It looks like wr Hopkins will be primarily matched up with Peterson, who did his usual shutdown thingy last week to the tune of 13 yards receiving allowed. His partner-Breeland-was in a giving mood and gave up 113 yards. Quietly effective fantasy qb Cousins best do all his leg stretches and more pre-game ‘cause he’ll be running plenty-though it’ll be away from Chandler Jones and Co.

Falcons/Bucs:

You’d have thought (well, I did) that Ryan and Ridley would rack up all kinds of garbage points last week but the O was just that futile. It should play out that way for the rest of the year, starting here. Funny how Brady found another division that sucks balls and gifts his team a 6-0 or 5-1 record. #notfunny

Cowboys/Chargers:

If the fur, I mean, balls don’t fly in this tilt many fantasy folk’ll be upset. But between Dallas’ piddly excuse for a secondary and Prescott and Friends firepower, that over/under of 55 should be toast. Joey Bosa can’t wipe the grin off his face given that La’el Collins has been switched out for Terrence Steele.

Titans/Seahawks:

Tennessee allowed 4 passes of more than 20 yards last week and goodness me, I believe that very well might be one of Wilson’s strengths. Ah yes, his total of 60 scores of 20+ yards since 2016 is numero uno in the league. Unleash the hounds, um, Metcalfs! This doesn’t look like a good gamescript for Henry but he does have a habit of bouncing back from lousy performances. We shall see.

See you down below.