Man, that was good stuff! (is typing at 12:15 EST) Dimes throwing it around like crazy, that bananacakes last-second upset and that leg fracture. Ouch! Hopefully the second half of games can keep up the pace!
To The Games!
Jets/Broncos:
This is my Survivor pick-don’t let me down Hippo! Look for both Williams and Gordon to feast on passes out of the backfield. The Jets are perfect in that they’ve allowed 18 out of 18 passes to be caught. Denver’s gonna toss the Jets Saleh.
Fins/Raiders:
Miami doesn’t look nearly as good as their trajectory would have suggested. And now Tua is tossed on the IR scrapheap for a bit. The underwhelming Brissett might just be a slight improvement on the second year (not) wonder though.
Bucs/Rams:
Make way, make way, his majesty Brady has arrived. Please watch this game with the volume turned to -11. It’ll be interesting to watch Ramsey on Godwin out of the slot-anything the Rams can do to take away weapons will be helpful to their cause. I’d expect Fat Stafford to have 40+ pass attempts in this tilt.
Seahawks/Vikes:
Dalvin is ‘unlikely to play’ so bring out the handcuffs that you’ve hidden in your underwear drawer. As far as cornerbacks are concerned, Minny’s are more generous than every other unit and ranked lower than no one else’s. If all goes according to plan you’ll hear ‘chunk play’ often.
I’m done. And you’ve just started.
Clean sheet through 3, but is in jeopardy. Need a sack!
Gronk ded?
Extremely sleepy
Desean Jackson is alive! Where the hell are the space lasers?
Well, someone had to spell his name correctly. I’m glad it was you.
Scotchy is taking Goyim Space Lasers behind the ol’ woodshed this week.
I am by far the worst team in that league.
I’ll be 2-6 in a jiffy
I for one had no idea DJax was still in the league
Rams trot out old DeShaun for the TD!
I mean, I know the Buc’s secondary is suspect but how do you let a player whose sole job is to run a fly route, run a fly route and get behind you?
Not even the first time they tried it today.
The best thing I can say about Aikman is that he bothered to stay in shape post-playing career.
I dunno why, I like Aikmen. I just wish we could have him paired with someone better. Like swap him to MNF or something.
Is Josh from Chipotle on the spectrum?
“Here, poor black kid, have a slice of pizza for free. Now sign this release form and don’t forget to smile.”
-Papa Johns
Damn, this bothers me the more I think about it. The ad is about feeding under-privileged kids and the first kid they show is black. I guess the program doesn’t extend to rural Iowa.
Ha, you Succ!
Someone on the Jets was taunting? About what?
Must have seen a member of the Sharks in the crowd.
I’m watching the Seahawks game on delay, so I’m behind in making fun of ButtFumble announcing.
Fuck, he’s terrible.
Put Mattison in my lineup and he has done fuck all. All is normal.
Well, well, well, look who just staggered in!
I was in beautiful Victoria for the weekend. I fucking love that place and would move there in a heartbeat if our jobs allowed. (they do not)
But they’ll allow you to move to Regina!
Yep, Alberta, Sasky, or home to Manitoba. That is a hard no.
I’ve heard good things about a random dude that lives there!
Larry? Nice guy, very bad at presenting things on TEAMS. We need a session for him with Yeah Rights daughter for learnin.
We may need to retire the Fat Stafford nickname. Like many that arrive in LA, he’s lost weight, is looking good, and may just get a sugar daddy soon.
I heard that if you order Detroit-style pizza in southern California you’re put on a registry and you have to provide a list of close contacts. #firethegovernor
OMAHA
Come in from walking the dog and see Denver up 17-0. Bridgewater must be doing great for my FF team, right?
/Checks notes
Wrong.
Oh well, at least the “take the Jets opponent” strategy is paying off in Eliminator.
Good day! Hail Gamblor! How the fuck we doin boys?
Better than the Giants under Tom Coughlin.
Also better than Andy Reid.
Hope Don Fangio is warning against complacency in his halftime talk. HIPPO WANTS THE CLEAN SHEET.
Myers first miss of the year
Brady would have preferred to be in shotgun and do a forward pass so he could get closer to breaking the record.
You see how they run it, since playing a real opponent today. Everything isn’t centered around serving MRSA Dreamboat’s ego.
Yeah, but it was an end around. I’m shocked he wasn’t in shotgun.
Not trying to sound blunt, but has a coach ever died midseason before?
The Google shows plenty of results for coaches, but no head coach.
I seem to recall the coach of the Marshall football team dying during the season. Took a lot of kids with him too.
Its raining in Seattle and Minnesota scored. Sucks all around
Someone told Reid a joke about an ‘All You Can Eat Buffet Ambulance’ service.
Here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore you.
This is the “spooks” story.
When we were out on a 40 day patrol we were “on alert” to do a nuclear weapons launch (which we never did; you would have read about it).
But this was all highly scheduled, so after our alert ended we were still a submarine on patrol with a lot of options.
Sometimes after we got off alert a boat would meet us in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean. They had civilians on board who would bury themselves in our bow torpedo room.
We called them “spooks.”
When they were aboard we were at “the maneuvering watch” where every crewman is at his assigned watch station. I was was engineer back aft so I never saw anything.
But our gossip chain rivaled any hen house or quilting party.
Yet my forward shipmates never talked about what “the spooks” did. I don’t think they even knew.
But the cost of admission to a submarine at sea that’s just finished a 40 day alert patrol is fresh and real ice cream, and a lot of it, and we don’t care who you are.
You better bring it, and fresh fruit too, or you ain’t boarding this vessel.
So the spooks brought ice cream when they met you in the middle of the ocean?
Also, how was the handover done? The only reference I have is that scene in The Hunt For Red October.
I was in the engineroom. I never saw it.
That’s how you know I’m authentic.
I didn’t know now anything.
I enjoyed the ice cream.
Ice cream follow up: what flavours didya get?
They would bring real ice cream over in 5 gallon containers: vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate. Several containers of each flavor.
I like vanilla and strawberry.
Nice!
Andy Reid, pulling an Urban Meyer?
That’s just his daily myocardial infarction. He’ll eat it off.
#NoDaysOff
He’s clutching his chest? I saw that coming.
“No problem, just having a heart attack. (Pounds Chest)..Almost over! Done. Done.”
Defensive holding on a receiver negates a QB sack
Uh oh. Hamler in ‘discomfort’.
uh boy, not showing the replay. He’s gone for a while.
I am starting (but drawing dead) both Sutton and Patrick in DFO-ball, but I am expecting maybe 5-6 passes in the 2nd half.
Fatt Staffordown! Break out the pork rinds!
Von Miller, apparently still can play.
Vikes Hawks good game so far. Offenses dictating
So are y’all commenting at a rate of 2-3 a minute or is it this claptrap site eating comments.
The late slate usually has fewer comments. (Hippo excluded when Donks are rockin’)
Captain Dingleberry Discards His #NuAIDS-Ridden Boot
With all of the derpitude taking place in the Raiders-Dolphins match, a draw would be a just result. What say you, dear colleagues?
So it is said, so let it be written.
A draw is a gentlemanly way to settle affairs, I’d say.
lolphins call
Two drops, one Kupp, no yards
Track meet start in Minny
I want the Rams to straight up murder Brady. Thugg it up!
Brady will get the calls
Aaron Donald: (breathing hard on the sideline while the Rams’ offense is on the field)
Ref: (throws flag)
I would very much enjoy SOLE POSSESSION OF FIRST PLACE Donks, however illusory and temporary.
Touchdown for those Seattle guys
JAVONTE!
The Raiders want Rikki to write an episode.
Here we go!
LOL. The Vikings stole Seattle’s soccer pregame intro. Boom boom clap followed by a horn
This from the Sun Times (in a really whiny/bitchy column) tracks:
They produced 47 net yards — lowest by the Bears since 1981 — and managed two fields goals on 10 possessions. Including the playoffs, it was the 22nd time they scored fewer than 20 points in Nagy’s 53 games.
That’s…pretty hard to do, without it snowing.
Fields is a rookie. But the fault here has to be Nagy. Similar to Pete Carroll’s DC’s, Andy Reid’s OC’s aren’t shit.
TEDDY BALLGAME
Ravens field goal reminds me of this fortuitous bounce-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChT3ewZXTfM&ab_channel=HouseofHighlights
Scooby and the gang go to Detroit
When push came to shove, Shaggy realized too late that he was more of a bag of meat than a friend.
Now BLEERGH can’t count to zero?
Got the Costco run finished and housework done. Ready for some Foobaw
The homeless tent encampment across the street just had a 911 fire call. No fucks given here. Its like Negan and Lucile enjoying hot sauce on canned dog food while the zombies rage outside.
How y’all doin??
God to Detroit – JUST GIVE UP.
Increible
I am still trying to grasp the physics of how that bounces FORWARD off that trajectory
The ball is spinning, so it’s almost pure luck where in its rotation the ball is when it happens to make contact.
66 yards easy
Next are the locusts if you don’t!