Has the sked maker (I imagine him as an harried old man in a small office, papers in folders everywhere-he’s not received a raise since Rozelle retired) been kind to us? Let’s take a looky-loo.
To The Games!
Team/Falcons:
That nasty Washington D was supposed to pick up where it left off last year but there are cracks in the armoire. The secondary is ahead of only Detroit, KC and the Giants in expected points per passing play and lb Jon Bostic is a travesty in coverage, having surrendered 197 yards so far.
Texans/Bills:
Allen turned things around in a ‘get well’ game last week and has been gifted another one. One of the problems he’s been dealing with is poor interior line play. That unit allowed 16 pressures last week and had better improve when Buffalo gets to the meat of their schedule.
Lions/Bears:
Be careful what you ask for. Unless you were asking for .4 yards per pass play. Is that what it was, Chicago fans? They’re the only team to average less than 3 yards so far this season.
Panthers/Cowboys:
Time for Carolina to see if they’re on the ‘real’ or ‘pretend’ side of the ledger. At least they have a full 10 days rest and Dallas is dealing with a short week.
Colts/Fins:
Indy was thought by many to be a playoff contender this year but poor qb play (exacerbated by injuries/lousy performance from the o-line) has put that notion up in the air. And so has reducing touches to their dynamic 2nd year rb Taylor.
Browns/Vikes:
As both teams love to run the ball and are not apologetic about it, what say we stash this game into the mid-1970’s where it belongs?
Giants/Saints:
It’s the last train to Clarksville, um, whoops, Winville for New York. Showing up in the coming weeks are Dallas, Carolina, the Rams, Chiefs, Raiders and the bucking Fucs.
Titans/Jets:
Poor Zach has been through the ringer and put up a mere 20 points vs the Panthers, Pats and Broncos. Finally, some sweet relief (maybe?) against a Tennessee team that blitzes at a 30% rate. Oh no. Well, the good news is that opposing qb’s have a 155.3 rating when completing a pass in this situation.
Chiefs/Eagles:
Philly’s D tends to keep big plays to a minimum so far this year and that might well be tested by KC today. The Chiefs D will again be without de Clark and cb Ward but never fear, Dicaprio Bootle has been elevated from that old Key and Peele sketch to the game time roster.
Do that thing.
The next thread is open: Dick jokes are $2 each and women comment for free! Be prepared to show ID at the door. (that flies open)
this is not good. Dallas needs to score on this drive
Saints dont cover. oh well
You think Andy Dalton feels weird about having the smallest dick in the Bears QB room?
Just checked my fantasy team and noticed 2 things.
1) I am glad my life does not depend on my ability to set lineups because I suck at it
2) Lol ‘Texans’
Not a very ergonomic glory hole.
Brings new meaning to the term “showed your ass”
And there was the late game Cousins we have come to expect.
40-0 Bills.
Go Texans, I guess
The Tits are gonna give me my earliest Eliminator exit in about five years.
Can daddy have Hockey garbage points please?
I fucking hate horses.
Horse: I hate spandex wearing bike riding douchebags!
Glad you got the word order correct or that would have had a totally different meaning.
“I’m gonna pet this wild animal. What could possibly go wrong? Also, I’m a fucking idiot.”
That’s not a moose, and that’s not my sister, but that is a nasty bite.
Yeah, when they have their ears back like that they are pissed. Learn some basic body language before you go sticking your smelly hands in a horse’s face
I thought Matt “4 TDS!” Ryan was a bit on the washed-up side.
Montgomery ded.
Is it we’re not going to show the replay ded or just regular ded?
Regular, has limped off and is now out of the game.
Never say that god doesn’t love a good bait and switch for the brockster
Brutal
Panthers need to upgrade at QB next year. They have a legit defense and pieces on the offense but Dallas is exposing their flaw at QB. They cant generate long drives or points
I honestly had no clue they were 3-0. With their QB, it seems impossible.
Well Darnold handing out ints like candy does not help.
WOW. Great 2nd INT for Diggs.
I just got an ad from The Saskatchewan Union of Nurses.
“Like Jeezuz, we really care for ya but the wheat isn’t gonna harvest itself, don’t cha know? If you need help call Bertie at the library-she’s like, booksmart, like.
26-0 Bills.
Come on, shutout! No bullshit points for the Tejanos! I don’t want them to score!
If a team that does exist shuts out a team that doesn’t, did it actually happen?
I think it is similar to a bye.
Every win over the Texans should get its own column. Win-loss record should be:
Wins-Losses-Ties-Wins Over The Texans
Bills are going to be 2-1-0-1
Fuck I hate Taysom Hill.